Monday, December 29, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
The Land Before Time- barn edition
"It's awright Petrie. Lots of things do no fly. Rocks.. Sticks.. Spike." Littlefoot. Sera. Ducky. Petrie. SPIKE. We all know them. They're the the "kids" from the Land Before Time movies and cartoon series. It's one of those movies with universal age appeal. We're getting our very own Land Before Time cast at the barn. First, we have Oliver, starring as Littlefoot... Party as Ducky... and Spike starring as HIMSELF. Spike is our resident newbie. He's a big. He's got chrome. He's a fancy mover. Sweet as the day is long, and sometimes, just sometimes, we call him "Steggy" as in Stegosaurus- since that is what "Spike" was in LBT, and they've got a brain the size of a walnut, located, appropriately, in their tail.
Really, though, he's a darling. I can't say he isn't scared of anything- but he's a master of the "advance and retreat" school. If there's something scary, it goes like this: Snort. Blow. Jump backward. March up to it. Touch it. Promptly forget anything was scary in the first place. He's the spitting image, training-wise of his half sister that we had in last summer. He's a better mover up front, and so powerfull behind as to overpower himself sometimes. This can lead to some entertaining moments as he's starting to learn how to balance himself on small circles, with a saddle. It's good he's athletic, because sometimes, he's not quite gracefull.
He's steady. He's cute. Even now, in the early stages, he doesn't let much rattle him. His topline even stays pretty much the same. Spike doesn't learn anything in lightening quick flashes. On the flip side of that, because he doesn't jump forward in his progress, he doesn't fall back either. He's progressing along the learning curve at a steady, plodding, forward pace. Spike was named after the character in "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer". To know him, however, is to suspect he's more accurately named after Spike from the Land Before Time.
Really, though, he's a darling. I can't say he isn't scared of anything- but he's a master of the "advance and retreat" school. If there's something scary, it goes like this: Snort. Blow. Jump backward. March up to it. Touch it. Promptly forget anything was scary in the first place. He's the spitting image, training-wise of his half sister that we had in last summer. He's a better mover up front, and so powerfull behind as to overpower himself sometimes. This can lead to some entertaining moments as he's starting to learn how to balance himself on small circles, with a saddle. It's good he's athletic, because sometimes, he's not quite gracefull.
He's steady. He's cute. Even now, in the early stages, he doesn't let much rattle him. His topline even stays pretty much the same. Spike doesn't learn anything in lightening quick flashes. On the flip side of that, because he doesn't jump forward in his progress, he doesn't fall back either. He's progressing along the learning curve at a steady, plodding, forward pace. Spike was named after the character in "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer". To know him, however, is to suspect he's more accurately named after Spike from the Land Before Time.
Bah Humbug!
Ho ho ho. Tis the season. You know what I'm taking about- the season for hot cocoa (made with milk, and extra marshmallows of course!), pies, hams, cookies, (oooooohhhhh oh oh... the coooookkkiiieesss. {pardon this pause in the regularly scheduled program- must wipe away the drool}), carmels, cakes, cookies, candy canes, gingerbread, puddings, cookies, cookies and... did I mention cookies? There's sugar cookies, gingerbread cookies, chocolate chip, pineapple, oatmeal, chocolate drop, snickerdoodles, no bakes, peanut butter,... The list is virtually endless. Oooooh. Excuse me. I'm drooling again.
And so, here I am. I have the will power of a gnat, especially, when it comes to sweet stuff. I've been trying valiently since the last big Fat Holiday (Thanksgiving) to cut back. I'm not as, um, as metabollically resilient as I used to be. Alas, there was a time I ate like I was retarded. This hasn't exactly caught up to me, per se. I just can't do it anymore. If I did, I'd blow up like you shoved an an air-hose into one of my orifices. So I've changed to sugar-substitute in my coffee (even at Dunkin Donuts!) and cut out a lot of the creamer. I've chopped most of the bread out of my diet too. All enriched white bread is "adios". Sticking with whole grain- and mostly wheat at that. And still the cookies call my name. Cookies at home. Cookies at the barn. Cookies are the 'gift de jour' this season. Alas, the sweet taste of weight gain.
So how am I reinforcing my wishy-washy willpower? Aside from chewing off my fingernails? I'll let you in on a little secret... It's BREECHES. Yes, breeches. I'm talking about hunt seat breeches. It's always enough of a trauma to slip (okay, shimmy, bounce, yank and pry) them on for the first time at the beginning of show season. It's worse if they don't fit at all. It's worse yet if you're trying to ride and worrying about splitting a seam. When you put on the hunt seat clothes, you generally try to project a certain image. A "Look". Long, lean and in harmony with your horse. Not overpowering them. Not looking like the RIDER should be hooked to a plow. Normally I plan on being "fighting-fit" sometime at the beginning of summer. I figure (pun intended?) that I'll peak in late October- same as my horses. Not this year however.
This year I have an extra bit of mental ammunition to use to bolster my feeble will-power. I've got to look good in my breeches by mid-June. The Pinto World Show is one of the first World Shows of the year. It comes at a time that's particularly early for us northeasters. Traditionally, up here, we don't feel like we've safely shaken off the last of snow's flakes until we've passed the Memorial Day mark. We may be wearing shorts, but our scarves aren't far from our reach. The winter, "insulating", weight goes on us fast. It tends to come off very slowly. So instead of indulging for the holidays and worrying about it later, I've got to be more aware of my intake. I've got to start now getting fit. Alas, my cookie intake is limited for the season. So, unfair! Where is the joy?! Still... a few chocolate chips, weighed against a World Championship? The chips lose. Sure, no one wins a World title just because they look hot in their hunt clothes, but you can sure bet it cuts their odds of winning WAY DOWN if they look like a beige blimp.
Edit 1: Okay, okay.. upon re-reading this, I realized it sounds pretty darn superficial, and so I'll add a little something that I figured just "went without saying". I'm not cutting back on my cookie consumption JUST because I want to look better. UGH. Let's face it. I want to be fit. Maybe even healthy. (Of course, the Russians have a saying- "If you don't drink and you don't smoke, you'll only die healthy". Amen.) When I'm thin and I'm fit I ride better. When I ride better, my horses certainly appreciate it.
And so, here I am. I have the will power of a gnat, especially, when it comes to sweet stuff. I've been trying valiently since the last big Fat Holiday (Thanksgiving) to cut back. I'm not as, um, as metabollically resilient as I used to be. Alas, there was a time I ate like I was retarded. This hasn't exactly caught up to me, per se. I just can't do it anymore. If I did, I'd blow up like you shoved an an air-hose into one of my orifices. So I've changed to sugar-substitute in my coffee (even at Dunkin Donuts!) and cut out a lot of the creamer. I've chopped most of the bread out of my diet too. All enriched white bread is "adios". Sticking with whole grain- and mostly wheat at that. And still the cookies call my name. Cookies at home. Cookies at the barn. Cookies are the 'gift de jour' this season. Alas, the sweet taste of weight gain.
So how am I reinforcing my wishy-washy willpower? Aside from chewing off my fingernails? I'll let you in on a little secret... It's BREECHES. Yes, breeches. I'm talking about hunt seat breeches. It's always enough of a trauma to slip (okay, shimmy, bounce, yank and pry) them on for the first time at the beginning of show season. It's worse if they don't fit at all. It's worse yet if you're trying to ride and worrying about splitting a seam. When you put on the hunt seat clothes, you generally try to project a certain image. A "Look". Long, lean and in harmony with your horse. Not overpowering them. Not looking like the RIDER should be hooked to a plow. Normally I plan on being "fighting-fit" sometime at the beginning of summer. I figure (pun intended?) that I'll peak in late October- same as my horses. Not this year however.
This year I have an extra bit of mental ammunition to use to bolster my feeble will-power. I've got to look good in my breeches by mid-June. The Pinto World Show is one of the first World Shows of the year. It comes at a time that's particularly early for us northeasters. Traditionally, up here, we don't feel like we've safely shaken off the last of snow's flakes until we've passed the Memorial Day mark. We may be wearing shorts, but our scarves aren't far from our reach. The winter, "insulating", weight goes on us fast. It tends to come off very slowly. So instead of indulging for the holidays and worrying about it later, I've got to be more aware of my intake. I've got to start now getting fit. Alas, my cookie intake is limited for the season. So, unfair! Where is the joy?! Still... a few chocolate chips, weighed against a World Championship? The chips lose. Sure, no one wins a World title just because they look hot in their hunt clothes, but you can sure bet it cuts their odds of winning WAY DOWN if they look like a beige blimp.
Edit 1: Okay, okay.. upon re-reading this, I realized it sounds pretty darn superficial, and so I'll add a little something that I figured just "went without saying". I'm not cutting back on my cookie consumption JUST because I want to look better. UGH. Let's face it. I want to be fit. Maybe even healthy. (Of course, the Russians have a saying- "If you don't drink and you don't smoke, you'll only die healthy". Amen.) When I'm thin and I'm fit I ride better. When I ride better, my horses certainly appreciate it.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Look at this and tell me what you see....
Anthromorphize- transitive verb : to attribute human form or personality to
intransitive verb : to attribute human form or personality to things not human
We all know that it's not the best idea to anthromorphize our horses. I mean, we all KNOW they are horses, they're prey animals, they are associative learners and in general do not see or think they same as we do. Sure, we KNOW that. However, for horse people, in this case, knowing and doing are two separate things. It's hard not to humanize our "kids". Our emotional attachment is such that we must. Aware of this trait in horse owners, the marketing masterminds that are Parelli gave us the "Horsenality Profile". (check out the Nov. issue of Horse & Rider magazine)
Using this "Horsenality Profile" we can supposedly chart our horse's "type"(left brained, right brained, introvert, extrovert and all the combos of) and determine their "horsenality" hereby giving us greater insight into what makes our horses "click". Uh. Sure. Ok. So.. I thought I'd give this profiling a shot on some of our new horses- and now I'll share them here, by way of introducing some of the new characters (character being the operative term) in the barn.
First there's Digs. Ahhh..... Digs. He's a 4yo halter-bred gelding, Jr. HUS horse, with a top 10 world show placing under his belt already in 2yo HUS. The best way to describe Digs? For those of you who know "Timmie"- Digs is Timmie x 2 (T2 as I call it.) He's everything in Timmie's personality only more so, and sensitive to boot. He's big. He's talented. He's resentful of the world in a general sort of way, and playful enough for twelve horses. So lets check out our "Horsenality" chart and see where Darling Digs falls....
Right brain or Left brain? Lets see.... start with right brain: fearful or nervous? NO unconfident? NO defensive? YES reactive? NO hmm.... okay, Left Brain now: dominant? YES. pushy? DEAR GOD YES. tolerant? hmm... define tolerant... confident? HELL YES. curious? ALWAYS. Ok. I guess that means that Digs is Left Brained.
Now is he an Introvert or Extrovert? Extrovert: high energy, more "go", quick and a tendency to run? Uh... not really. Unless the snow is falling off the roof.... then..... Or at liberty.
How about Introvert? Low energy (plenty there.. but it's set on slow burn), more "whoa" (umm.. like only his favorite word ever) slow (given the option, apsolutely), tendency to stop (oh, let me count the ways....) I would have to say that Dig's would be an Introvert most of the time.. So, to clarify this lets get into specific traits, and see exactly where he falls..
LB Introvert: Clever? OH MY.. YESSSS. Non-repsonsive? Old mister elephant hide? YES, when he wants to be. Disinterested? Naw.... he's totally in the moment. Arguementative? YES, YES, YES. Food oriented? UH HUH! "Lazy"? BETTER BELIEVE IT. Easily Bored? In about 2.5 SECONDS!!
How about LB Extrovert: Playful? Sometimes Smart? HELL YES. Charismatic? WHEN HE WANTS TO BE. Naughty? OMG! Mischievous? OH MY OH MY OH MY. Mouthy? WHO? PIRHANNA BOY? Willful? MOSTLY. Exuberant? NOT SO MUCH.
Results: Digs is LEFT BRAINED, no doubt. He's an extrovert when dealing with him on the ground and an introvert undersaddle. So what does Linda Parelli say about Left Brained horses? (re: Horse & Rider acticle interview, Nov. 2008)
"This horse is much more self confident, so he's actually not looking for a leader, and in fact will challenge your leadership skills." (check!) "He's totally "present" and can "get" something in one or two repetitions." (check) "If you start doing 10 to 20 repetitions, however, he'll start thinking, 'Ask me that one more time and one us has to die! And it's not going to be me!'" (check! check! and DOUBLE CHECK!!!) "We tend to advance too slowly with these horses- we don't give them enough to do. So the horse starts pushing us around (the LB extrovert) or refusing to do anything (the LB introvert)." (Holy freakin' Cow!!! Have they actually met Digs???????)
Huh.... who knew.. This is kinda neat stuff. While any good horseman would tell you.. "DUH", it doesn't change the entertainment factor. Besides, having a spiffy little chart sure beats trying to find a black leather couch large enough to support your horse's butt and a shrink that takes "neigh" for an answer.
*note: Digs is doing fabulous.. so long as what you're asking is clear.. the differance btwn. right and wrong is black and white, and he's rewarded when he's good.. and we don't do the same thing everyday :)
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Perfectly Imperfect
In this line of work it's your JOB to point out what someone is doing wrong. It's also your job to point out when someone is doing something right. It's desperately difficult to not let this filter into your "home" life. So, I have a tendency to point out people's foibles. It's the way I am. I'm not being judgemental- simply making an observation. Apparently, having one's foibles pointed out makes people uncomfortable. In cases they tend to become resentful assuming that either- a) I point these things out because I am "oh so perfect" or b) I point these things out because I'm trying to make myself feel better. I hate to disabuse people of dearly held notions, but I'm honestly only making observations. It's all in the same vein as observing that the sky is a particularly lovely shade of mauve this evening, or that the trees are as starkly naked as a playboy bunny on the day she was born.
Making observations is human nature. We make observations about everything. As such, I do not make observations only about other people. I KNOW where my flaws are. I've got more of them then an old pair of cheap sunglasses. #1) I'm painfully shy. - not the best trait in someone who holds a very social job. #2) I hate crowds. Not just a little hate either. Sure, I can deal with them in the short term, but after awhile I truly become dysfunctional. It's sad, and, again, not a great trait for someone in my line of work. #3) I have a very hard time delegating. (see #4) #4) I like things a certain way. That's why I have a hard time delegating. I want things done the way I want them done, and therefore it's easier if I just do it myself. #5) I'm a social retard. I spend way to much time in the barn. I'm rusty when it comes to carrying on a TWO sided conversation. Again, not a top notch trait. #6) I can't remember birthdays, names, or anniversaries. Remembering horses registered names, registration numbers, and most birthdays- that's cake. The list could go on, but I'm thinking that an even half-dozen is
sufficient for the moment.
The thing with flaws is this: Unless you know, categorically, what they are, you don't know what to improve. What do you work on, if you don't know what's broken?
The other thing with flaws is much more important: Unless you know what your flaws are, how do you really ever know who YOU are? Take the things about yourself that are less than perfect, and if you can't change them, embrace them. These are the things that make you special.
Making observations is human nature. We make observations about everything. As such, I do not make observations only about other people. I KNOW where my flaws are. I've got more of them then an old pair of cheap sunglasses. #1) I'm painfully shy. - not the best trait in someone who holds a very social job. #2) I hate crowds. Not just a little hate either. Sure, I can deal with them in the short term, but after awhile I truly become dysfunctional. It's sad, and, again, not a great trait for someone in my line of work. #3) I have a very hard time delegating. (see #4) #4) I like things a certain way. That's why I have a hard time delegating. I want things done the way I want them done, and therefore it's easier if I just do it myself. #5) I'm a social retard. I spend way to much time in the barn. I'm rusty when it comes to carrying on a TWO sided conversation. Again, not a top notch trait. #6) I can't remember birthdays, names, or anniversaries. Remembering horses registered names, registration numbers, and most birthdays- that's cake. The list could go on, but I'm thinking that an even half-dozen is
sufficient for the moment.
The thing with flaws is this: Unless you know, categorically, what they are, you don't know what to improve. What do you work on, if you don't know what's broken?
The other thing with flaws is much more important: Unless you know what your flaws are, how do you really ever know who YOU are? Take the things about yourself that are less than perfect, and if you can't change them, embrace them. These are the things that make you special.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Economy Size
Presidential Election time.. Every notice that during any well contested presidential election, the future forecast becomes all doom and gloom. It's the eve of the apocolypse. Just ask anyone. It's on the news. We're all going straight to hell. In a hand-basket even. Dig a hole, and bury your money in it. Safer than a bank, or especially, the stock market. Better yet, dig a hole and bury yourself in it. You're broke, or if you aren't yet, you will be soon. You can't afford to drive anywhere, so forget a vacation, or traveling when you retire. Forget retirements too, since your 401k just bit the big one.
It's nothing more than a mob mentality in a panic. The mob is a force to be reckoned with. The mob's mood really does influence the country as a whole. What has happened is that we've finally woken up from the "dream" we were having where money floated down to us like manna from heaven. We treated it as it was really worth- less than the paper it is printed on. And now our largesse has come home to roost. Or has it?
So now we've had our rose-tinted glasses removed. And people are playing a little closer to the vest. But people are still spending. They are looking for more "bang for the buck", but they are still spending. They are still horse showing. They may choose their shows more carefully, and get more classes from a single horse, but they are still showing.
Overheard from a jewelry vendor at the Congress: suprise that given the economy, they had just "sold over $3,500 in sterling silver just that morning".
Horses are moving. THAT is an interesting dynamic. Average price for a Congress/World quality horse is $40,000 -$65,000. There is a LARGE number of horses in that range competing for, not a smaller number of buyers exactly, but very carefull, discerning, buyers. They are going to shop, and shop well, and do their homework thoroughly before buying.
The far end of that market, the perpetual champions.. they fall into the "stupid crazy" price range- you know- $75,000 to ??? "the sky is the limit" ??? Those horses are moving. Top QUALITY still sells. The top level (win, win, win) Regional horses (these include the occasional Congress & World placers) are between $12,000 and $25,000. Yearlings and young prospects have finally settled into a more logical niche- usually under $10k.
The flip side of this coin is where it gets interesting. Pick up any local paper that advertises horses. You'll find a large number of older, generally unregistered horses from $10 - $1000. Yes, that's right. I saw a horse advertised for sale for TEN BUCKS. That is a faaaarrr cry from horse prices just a year or two ago. Why?
Sure, fuel prices skyrocketing had a lot to do with that. However, as the major bonus to a cramped economy, fuel isn't as much in demand, so prices fall. They're still higher than this time last year, but given the decrease, it feels more like winning the lottery when you fuel up rather than having organs forceably removed without anesthetic. So, fuel prices don't account for it, entirely. Prices of horse keeping have increased, and winter is coming on. Every year prices go up, and every fall there are a number of people that look out at their pasture and realize that they have an older horse that may or may not make the winter, has special needs, or is, for what ever reason no longer wanted. Since slaughter in the US has been banned there is no where for those horses to feasibly go. Now you add in the effect of a worried populace, fretfull of their budget, and they see that horse as an expenable, unneccesary expense. It's a perfect storm in the making... an economy sized problem with no ready answer.
It's nothing more than a mob mentality in a panic. The mob is a force to be reckoned with. The mob's mood really does influence the country as a whole. What has happened is that we've finally woken up from the "dream" we were having where money floated down to us like manna from heaven. We treated it as it was really worth- less than the paper it is printed on. And now our largesse has come home to roost. Or has it?
So now we've had our rose-tinted glasses removed. And people are playing a little closer to the vest. But people are still spending. They are looking for more "bang for the buck", but they are still spending. They are still horse showing. They may choose their shows more carefully, and get more classes from a single horse, but they are still showing.
Overheard from a jewelry vendor at the Congress: suprise that given the economy, they had just "sold over $3,500 in sterling silver just that morning".
Horses are moving. THAT is an interesting dynamic. Average price for a Congress/World quality horse is $40,000 -$65,000. There is a LARGE number of horses in that range competing for, not a smaller number of buyers exactly, but very carefull, discerning, buyers. They are going to shop, and shop well, and do their homework thoroughly before buying.
The far end of that market, the perpetual champions.. they fall into the "stupid crazy" price range- you know- $75,000 to ??? "the sky is the limit" ??? Those horses are moving. Top QUALITY still sells. The top level (win, win, win) Regional horses (these include the occasional Congress & World placers) are between $12,000 and $25,000. Yearlings and young prospects have finally settled into a more logical niche- usually under $10k.
The flip side of this coin is where it gets interesting. Pick up any local paper that advertises horses. You'll find a large number of older, generally unregistered horses from $10 - $1000. Yes, that's right. I saw a horse advertised for sale for TEN BUCKS. That is a faaaarrr cry from horse prices just a year or two ago. Why?
Sure, fuel prices skyrocketing had a lot to do with that. However, as the major bonus to a cramped economy, fuel isn't as much in demand, so prices fall. They're still higher than this time last year, but given the decrease, it feels more like winning the lottery when you fuel up rather than having organs forceably removed without anesthetic. So, fuel prices don't account for it, entirely. Prices of horse keeping have increased, and winter is coming on. Every year prices go up, and every fall there are a number of people that look out at their pasture and realize that they have an older horse that may or may not make the winter, has special needs, or is, for what ever reason no longer wanted. Since slaughter in the US has been banned there is no where for those horses to feasibly go. Now you add in the effect of a worried populace, fretfull of their budget, and they see that horse as an expenable, unneccesary expense. It's a perfect storm in the making... an economy sized problem with no ready answer.
Tis The Season
Ahhh..... fall. It's that special time of year, when the mornings get brisk, ice skims the water tanks and the BIG SHOWS take place. For the "real hunters" fall marks the start of the indoor show season. For the breed people, it marks the time of year when the big "CHAMPIONSHIP" level shows take place. Granted, World Championship shows take place year round, virtually, but there is something extra about the ones in the fall.
The call of the highway.. driving day and night... oh, yeeaaaahhhhhh. Okay. OK. Maybe that's not the best part, but it does give you time to reflect. Bonus: this time of year the scenery is lovely. Despite opting out of the Appaloosa World Show this year, we didn't miss out on the driving. We did Congress by way of Harrisburg, and while we were there, we popped in to check out the Pennsylvania National Show.
Alright! So the phone doesn't take the best pictures while driving at 70mph. Anywayyy--- 81S to Harrisburg.
The best part of the Penn National is checking out the new trends. Give it 2 or 3 years, and what catches on there eventually trickles down to the "breed" world. Thankfully, not everything catches on, and less of that goes "mainstream". Check out these boot tops spotted at Hadfield's Saddlery. I'm the first one to LOVE bling.. just NOT on my legs!
After a few days of Kenn shoeing and me producing the D/K Show Horse's Sale Video (fun headache, that!.. but that is the little part of US that gets to go the Ft. Worth) It was off to Columbus, OH. On the way, I got to see THE largest deer ever... or at least the largest buck I've ever seen in my life, not on some hunting show. It stood there, larger than a small pony, surveying the highway from on high. No, I didn't get a pic. Tough at night. This is how those come out.
Columbus, OH and the All American Quarter Horse Congress were about how I remember it- only more food vendors (yuuuuuummmmmyyyyy), less people (fewer germs! yea!! I'm still healthy.. no "crud" this time), and warmer weather (it was GORGEOUS). The shopping is larger than life. It still takes hours to get through all the vendors. Bargains are there to be had- if you are a discriminating and patient shopper.
The Congress, unlike past years, was a complete blast. Reba was great, but her real niche will be in the hunter hack next year. Speaking of, it was utterly depressing NOT to have a horse in the Jr. Talk about boring and simple. I could have cried. Plain brown rails and shrubbery...
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Have You Noticed?
Have you ever noticed- on every roadside work crew, there is at least ONE very fat man, whom is both every good at holding up the shovel handle so that it doesn't get dirty, and hanging out in the single lane of moving traffic.
The other day, in the distance of 10 miles I went through 2 differant road constuction sites with a VERY lardge man hanging out into traffic. Since it couldn't be the same man.... I mean, really, what are the odds exactly?
The other day, in the distance of 10 miles I went through 2 differant road constuction sites with a VERY lardge man hanging out into traffic. Since it couldn't be the same man.... I mean, really, what are the odds exactly?
Friday, September 26, 2008
Bitchology
Got this via email.. AMEN! :P
BITCHOLOGY:
When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or dothings my own way, they call me a bitch.
Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in myheart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won'tallow anyone to step on me. When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak againstit, I am defined as a bitch
The same thing happens when I take time for myselfinstead of being everyone's maid, or when I act alittle selfish.
It means I have the courage and strength to allowmyself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what theythink I 'should' be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame,try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed. And if that makes me a bitch , sobe it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.
B- Babe I - In T - Total C - Control of H - Herself
B = Beautiful I = Intelligent T = Talented C = Charming H = Hell of a Woman
B = Beautiful I = Individual T = That C = Can H = Handle anything
'If you can't do something right, get a woman to do it.'
BITCHOLOGY:
When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or dothings my own way, they call me a bitch.
Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in myheart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won'tallow anyone to step on me. When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak againstit, I am defined as a bitch
The same thing happens when I take time for myselfinstead of being everyone's maid, or when I act alittle selfish.
It means I have the courage and strength to allowmyself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what theythink I 'should' be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame,try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed. And if that makes me a bitch , sobe it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.
B- Babe I - In T - Total C - Control of H - Herself
B = Beautiful I = Intelligent T = Talented C = Charming H = Hell of a Woman
B = Beautiful I = Individual T = That C = Can H = Handle anything
'If you can't do something right, get a woman to do it.'
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Anonymous
Apparently, a recent post "Flying Changes" was percieved as "whining". I disagree. It was about being proactive about what you are doing with one's life and was based loosely upon a recent editorial in Horse & Rider- about NOT whining and doing nothing, but instead getting up and doing SOMETHING.
Some posts ARE negative for a reason, and generally those who take offense see themselves described therein. If the shoe fits... right? Those who do not, find them amusing because, invariably, they know someone who fits the description. That's the beauty of the human condition- there are all types; angelic and aggravating.
If it's offensive and whining because I will no longer allow the bickering, and complaining about other customers in the barn- then so be it. If it's wrong, instead of good business sense, to provide a quality service, and limit my involvement to what I get paid to do,- then so be that as well . At least it's clear what I think, and no matter how it's percieved, I'll sign my name to it.
Some posts ARE negative for a reason, and generally those who take offense see themselves described therein. If the shoe fits... right? Those who do not, find them amusing because, invariably, they know someone who fits the description. That's the beauty of the human condition- there are all types; angelic and aggravating.
If it's offensive and whining because I will no longer allow the bickering, and complaining about other customers in the barn- then so be it. If it's wrong, instead of good business sense, to provide a quality service, and limit my involvement to what I get paid to do,- then so be that as well . At least it's clear what I think, and no matter how it's percieved, I'll sign my name to it.
Was that supposed to be scary?
Sometimes, if you leave them be- they'll suprise you.....
If you've been to any of the NYS Fair horse shows that occur during the NYS Fair, you know just what a unique set of challenges are presented to anyone trying to exhibit their horse. It's almost unreal. Generally speaking, I don't like to bring young/green stock to this show. The possiblity of scaring them nearly irreversibly is very real.
This year, however, we have all youngsters, and for some reason they are ALL young ones possessed of exeptional amounts of brains, and poise. On the flip side of the "State Fair" gamble is the fact that if done right, and you get a horse through the show properly, they are broke enough at the end of it to handle almost anything.
There wasn't a single one of our horses that batted an ear at the fireworks. Nor did one of them care about the daily parade. (Just how many drums can one parade have?). We had 2 2YOs, 2 3YOs and 3 4YOs in the group. Of these babies, one 3YO had only been to one other show. She was simply the most impressive.
Sure, she was nervous walking through the barns. Have you seen some barn's decorations? *I* get a bit scared too. The most terrifying things were bags of shavings. Of course. White plastic cube-like shapes are ALWAYS to be distrusted. Very very dangerous things. Once you got into the arena- even the work pen, it was a differant story. As soon as you were astride she transformed from 3 to 30. Kids climbing on metal bleachers? Yawn. Strollers? Interesting, but only because they were potential buffets on wheels. You know, toddlers often have cool snack foods.
Even during show-time, which occured mid-day, (i.e. when the Coliseum was FULL of spectators) nothing penetrated that extreme bubble of calm. It was all very interesting, but you do realize that if you don't go around like an crazy monkey then you can check more of it out? Applause? Gee, is that for ME? True, a lot of it may have been due to putting her in a class that was of average size and full of more experienced "troopers". It's always good when you can give them a good example to follow. Still, it is the NYS Fair, and anything can (and usually does) happen.
It's always nice to take a baby through a potentially traumatic situation, and have them ask you back, "Was that supposed to be scary". That weight off your chest afterward? It's called starting to breathe again.
If you've been to any of the NYS Fair horse shows that occur during the NYS Fair, you know just what a unique set of challenges are presented to anyone trying to exhibit their horse. It's almost unreal. Generally speaking, I don't like to bring young/green stock to this show. The possiblity of scaring them nearly irreversibly is very real.
This year, however, we have all youngsters, and for some reason they are ALL young ones possessed of exeptional amounts of brains, and poise. On the flip side of the "State Fair" gamble is the fact that if done right, and you get a horse through the show properly, they are broke enough at the end of it to handle almost anything.
There wasn't a single one of our horses that batted an ear at the fireworks. Nor did one of them care about the daily parade. (Just how many drums can one parade have?). We had 2 2YOs, 2 3YOs and 3 4YOs in the group. Of these babies, one 3YO had only been to one other show. She was simply the most impressive.
Sure, she was nervous walking through the barns. Have you seen some barn's decorations? *I* get a bit scared too. The most terrifying things were bags of shavings. Of course. White plastic cube-like shapes are ALWAYS to be distrusted. Very very dangerous things. Once you got into the arena- even the work pen, it was a differant story. As soon as you were astride she transformed from 3 to 30. Kids climbing on metal bleachers? Yawn. Strollers? Interesting, but only because they were potential buffets on wheels. You know, toddlers often have cool snack foods.
Even during show-time, which occured mid-day, (i.e. when the Coliseum was FULL of spectators) nothing penetrated that extreme bubble of calm. It was all very interesting, but you do realize that if you don't go around like an crazy monkey then you can check more of it out? Applause? Gee, is that for ME? True, a lot of it may have been due to putting her in a class that was of average size and full of more experienced "troopers". It's always good when you can give them a good example to follow. Still, it is the NYS Fair, and anything can (and usually does) happen.
It's always nice to take a baby through a potentially traumatic situation, and have them ask you back, "Was that supposed to be scary". That weight off your chest afterward? It's called starting to breathe again.
The Good Ol Days
There has been a lot of discussion about change. Change nationally (THE buzzword of this presidential campaign) and change locally. EVERYONE seems to be in some sort of flux. Dramatic changes in the economy usually precipitate change across the board. Not that our economy is really "bad" by classic definitions. People are still going out to eat, they are still spending on recreation- but with the cost of fuel having rose so dramatically, people get nervous, and they get more careful about how they spend their money. Fuel is often a large component of the cost of anything, so it's unsurprising to feel the effects of this increase in nearly every aspect of living. That's just one sort of change. In the good old days (just one loooong year ago) fuel was only $2.80. It seemed like a lot at the time, but man, we sure do miss it.
On a more immediate level, we had our last scheduled Appaloosa show of the season. This coincided with the NYS Pinto Futurity (as it does every year). Last year I felt like I was on my deathbed showing Ollie (our then 2YO HUS paint) in the futurity. I don't recall much of that- credit to the drugs I was on. I was about as sick as I've ever been. This year, fortunately, I enjoyed much better health. (and, oddly enough, minus the cold medicine, MUCH better balance...hmmm) Additionally instead of having 18+ stalls, we kept it down to 8 and only 5 trainers. What an "Ah Ha" moment.
We were stalled where we used to stall before we outgrew the area, which in regards to ammenities, is no better or worse than our more recent stalling area. What it did do was reinforce the similarities between this show and "the good old days" when showing was still a lot of fun. We were able to spend quality time with everyone and all the horses. We were able to get enough sleep to keep our senses of humor, instead of running ourselves right to the raw, zombie edge of grumpitude. I actually got to watch a class. That is the first time I got to watch a whole class (where I wasn't coaching immediately on rail) in a very long time.
So that's one change (hey, I did SAY "stay tuned"). No longer will we be taking large numbers to the show, and we'll be limiting the number of "haul-ins" - so that the number of horses we work with stays managable. It's EXTREMELY difficult in a service based business, where the "customer is always right" to say "No". However, in this line of work, there is a very high burn-out rate. Sometimes it becomes necessary. We had allowed others to start to pressure us and dictate how we did things- and found ourselves running, not walking, down that road to burn-out. As though somehow, bigger, and more, is better. It is NOT. This is too expensive an undertaking to not have fun at it.
The helm is firmly back in our hands. The emphasis will be returned to quality versus quantity. Sometimes, if we need to, we will say "no" because we are, (at least for the forseable technological future) only human, and sometimes we need to take a break to re-group. If we want to take an hour or two to ourselves, we will. So instead of being on call 24/7 we'll only be available, 22/7. - well, it's either that, or adding an hour or three to the day, and since I've not mastered manipulation of the space/time continuum yet, cutting back will have to suffice. (if you can warp time., you can email me at....)
So there- that's one change. We're going RETRO... (trendy huh?) and cutting back to the way it was in the "good old days", so we can ALL have fun, they way we used to.
On a more immediate level, we had our last scheduled Appaloosa show of the season. This coincided with the NYS Pinto Futurity (as it does every year). Last year I felt like I was on my deathbed showing Ollie (our then 2YO HUS paint) in the futurity. I don't recall much of that- credit to the drugs I was on. I was about as sick as I've ever been. This year, fortunately, I enjoyed much better health. (and, oddly enough, minus the cold medicine, MUCH better balance...hmmm) Additionally instead of having 18+ stalls, we kept it down to 8 and only 5 trainers. What an "Ah Ha" moment.
We were stalled where we used to stall before we outgrew the area, which in regards to ammenities, is no better or worse than our more recent stalling area. What it did do was reinforce the similarities between this show and "the good old days" when showing was still a lot of fun. We were able to spend quality time with everyone and all the horses. We were able to get enough sleep to keep our senses of humor, instead of running ourselves right to the raw, zombie edge of grumpitude. I actually got to watch a class. That is the first time I got to watch a whole class (where I wasn't coaching immediately on rail) in a very long time.
So that's one change (hey, I did SAY "stay tuned"). No longer will we be taking large numbers to the show, and we'll be limiting the number of "haul-ins" - so that the number of horses we work with stays managable. It's EXTREMELY difficult in a service based business, where the "customer is always right" to say "No". However, in this line of work, there is a very high burn-out rate. Sometimes it becomes necessary. We had allowed others to start to pressure us and dictate how we did things- and found ourselves running, not walking, down that road to burn-out. As though somehow, bigger, and more, is better. It is NOT. This is too expensive an undertaking to not have fun at it.
The helm is firmly back in our hands. The emphasis will be returned to quality versus quantity. Sometimes, if we need to, we will say "no" because we are, (at least for the forseable technological future) only human, and sometimes we need to take a break to re-group. If we want to take an hour or two to ourselves, we will. So instead of being on call 24/7 we'll only be available, 22/7. - well, it's either that, or adding an hour or three to the day, and since I've not mastered manipulation of the space/time continuum yet, cutting back will have to suffice. (if you can warp time., you can email me at....)
So there- that's one change. We're going RETRO... (trendy huh?) and cutting back to the way it was in the "good old days", so we can ALL have fun, they way we used to.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Flying Changes
Fall is the traditional season for change. The temperatures change, the leaves change, nearly everything changes. I started home tonight with the intent to blog and basically maintain the status quo. I was set to complain about long hours, under appreciation, and over-needy people. I was going to toot out the same tired tune on the same old horn. Why bother?
Can I change how people are? Can I change people who can't see any picture broader than their immediate needs? Can I make them less selfish? I can't stop them from wanting more and giving less. I can't stop them from thinking only of themselves. I can't stop the petty jealousy, I can't stop the whining, I can't change most of the stupid B.S., so, why dwell on it? Why make myself sick beating my head against a wall I can't move?
Instead of feeling helpless; instead of reacting; instead of letting peole push me to burn-out by needing more, MORE and MORE; instead of stressing over increased feed prices, increased fuel prices, decreased show numbers and all the usual negative "hoopla" that comprises a "day in the horse life", I decided to sit down and figure out if there is something I CAN do.
I realized that somewhere the business got swept off the track I'd planned. My life IS my business, and suddenly I'm not running it.
So I'm taking stock of what I can do. I'm evaluating what I CAN change, no matter how large, or how small. I'm set to make some serious changes. Stay tuned.
Can I change how people are? Can I change people who can't see any picture broader than their immediate needs? Can I make them less selfish? I can't stop them from wanting more and giving less. I can't stop them from thinking only of themselves. I can't stop the petty jealousy, I can't stop the whining, I can't change most of the stupid B.S., so, why dwell on it? Why make myself sick beating my head against a wall I can't move?
Instead of feeling helpless; instead of reacting; instead of letting peole push me to burn-out by needing more, MORE and MORE; instead of stressing over increased feed prices, increased fuel prices, decreased show numbers and all the usual negative "hoopla" that comprises a "day in the horse life", I decided to sit down and figure out if there is something I CAN do.
I realized that somewhere the business got swept off the track I'd planned. My life IS my business, and suddenly I'm not running it.
So I'm taking stock of what I can do. I'm evaluating what I CAN change, no matter how large, or how small. I'm set to make some serious changes. Stay tuned.
Monday, August 04, 2008
The 2+2 of Horsekeeping
At a recent horse show we got together with some other trainers to swap ideas, pick brains, and basically be nosy about what the other ones are doing. The topic of boarding came up... One trainer said he finally sat down and got right into the nitty-gritty of the number's side aspect of the boarding side of their operation. What they came up with suprised the heck out of them.
Given the current state of the economy, it's not unusual to have thoughts of bringing your horse home and doing it all yourself- especially when you recieve that monthly board bill. If you already have your horses at home, you might be considering adding a stall onto your barn, and/or (if you actually have one!) filling that empty stall with a boarder to help offset the cost of your own animals. Those of you who have horses in this second category already are aware that horsekeeping anywhere is an expensive proposition- what you generally fail to consider is that it is NOT likely to work out the way you think it should. 2+2 doesn't always equal 4 when talking about horses. This is due to a phenom. that I like to call Grocery Math.
What the heck is that, you ask??? Well, unless you have ALWAYS lived alone, you know that as soon as you add just ONE extra person into your household (imagine that there is now TWO people), your grocery budget does NOT do the logical thing and simply double. It increases by something close to 1.5x as much. It's not like the new person eats emore than you do plus enough for another half a person.. it's just the way grocery math goes. The same thing applies for horses. GENERALLY speaking however, this is mostly noticed for ever FIVE horses. Going from 5 horses to 6 is a HUGE jump.. but not from 6 to 7. Getting up around 10 and things start really going downhill....... To help me explain, let me explore the costs of keeping just ONE horse for a month-
Say you've got the average riding horse in light to moderate work. They are fairly low maintenance- no special supplements or unique concentrates in their diet...
For ONE horse:
Grain/month: $40-$60 based upon average (moderate level product) grain price and ration of 6-8lbs/day
Hay/ month: $52.50 based upon cost of $3.50/bale and average consumption of .5 bale/day
Bedding/month: $75 This is a highly variable number depending on what you use, and regional costs. A conservative estimate.
That is your BARE BONES BASICS, and already we are up to $188.
Now, add in things like:
Electric
Water (if you are on municipal water)
Manure removal/waste management- this varies EXTENSIVELY, but like electric and water.. it's horse number dependant, and then:
Barn Expense (mortgage/rent) {if you don't have a mortgage, count yourself lucky} We'll take OUR expense as an example of $100/stall.
So.. D/K Show Horse's COST for keeping ONE horse on board is $288/month. We charge $300/month. That means if I kept my time for taking care of each horse down to 1 hour apiece (feeding, watering, cleaning, turning in, turning out, unblanketing, blanketing, etc..) not only would I be FLYING.. I'd be making about $0.40 an hour.. or day.. or $12/month. Supposedly horses are like children.. but I don't know of ANY sort of babysitter or daycare that does 24/7 care and does it for $12/MONTH.
Other expenses to be considered- MAINTENANCE- broken boards, fence, insulators, snaps, buckets, doors, feeders... horses are DESTRUCTIVE when kept "confined".
So.. if you plan on home horsekeeping, you need to think hard about what your time is worth. It's early mornings... even when it's sub-zero and your bed is toasty warm.. it's managing flies, mud, and manure. It's forgoeing any sort of vacation, unless you can find a babysitter you trust to take on the daunting task of keeping an eye on your four-legged mischief machine. And when you've not been able to ride because you're chopping ice out of buckets, or mowing acres of pasture, or spreading manure, or just plain trying to keep up on repairs, it's helpfull to believe it's worth saving that $10 spot. At least, when you're done with chores you can run into your local Starbucks and grap a coffee. Don't bring a friend though.
Perhaps you're thinking perhaps of just adding a boarder into the mix in your already established barn. You already KNOW that boarding isn't a money making proposition. You enjoy being able to look out your kitchen window at your pride and joy. You don't ride as much as you used to- barn chores have eaten up a lot of that time, but there's a lot of satisfaction still to be gained by listening to your babies contendedly munching their hay late at night. You know each snuff and wuffle your horse makes and why he makes them. You can thread your way through your barn by the light of one barely working flashlight- you've done it multiple times. You've got your set-up organized and it runs like a well-oiled machine; well, at least as well as anything involving horses can, anyway. If you fall into this category, consider this....
You are letting someone else into your personal space. Someone else who may or may not have the same sort of priorities as you.. someone else who may not do things EXACTLY the same way as you... someone else that comes complete with certain expectations of what they want to get for the money they are giving you.
Think long and hard whether or not that's worth ALMOST the cost of ONE bag of grain.
And that's just if you're adding ONE horse to a small.. say, 3 horse, operation. Too many more, and that's where grocery math comes in to play. Suddenly you have gone from buying grain by the bag, to by the ton.. and you need to build adequate storage space for that. You're not getting hay by the pickup truck, but by the wagon and need someplace to store that too.. Same for bedding. And all that increased storage area needs maintenance.. and so do the increased occupied stalls. More than 10 horses, and you'll seriously want to consider hiring help. Think how many horses you need to board to afford to hire someone. At least 10 more to pay for the help, and that means hiring a second person.......
Given the current state of the economy, it's not unusual to have thoughts of bringing your horse home and doing it all yourself- especially when you recieve that monthly board bill. If you already have your horses at home, you might be considering adding a stall onto your barn, and/or (if you actually have one!) filling that empty stall with a boarder to help offset the cost of your own animals. Those of you who have horses in this second category already are aware that horsekeeping anywhere is an expensive proposition- what you generally fail to consider is that it is NOT likely to work out the way you think it should. 2+2 doesn't always equal 4 when talking about horses. This is due to a phenom. that I like to call Grocery Math.
What the heck is that, you ask??? Well, unless you have ALWAYS lived alone, you know that as soon as you add just ONE extra person into your household (imagine that there is now TWO people), your grocery budget does NOT do the logical thing and simply double. It increases by something close to 1.5x as much. It's not like the new person eats emore than you do plus enough for another half a person.. it's just the way grocery math goes. The same thing applies for horses. GENERALLY speaking however, this is mostly noticed for ever FIVE horses. Going from 5 horses to 6 is a HUGE jump.. but not from 6 to 7. Getting up around 10 and things start really going downhill....... To help me explain, let me explore the costs of keeping just ONE horse for a month-
Say you've got the average riding horse in light to moderate work. They are fairly low maintenance- no special supplements or unique concentrates in their diet...
For ONE horse:
Grain/month: $40-$60 based upon average (moderate level product) grain price and ration of 6-8lbs/day
Hay/ month: $52.50 based upon cost of $3.50/bale and average consumption of .5 bale/day
Bedding/month: $75 This is a highly variable number depending on what you use, and regional costs. A conservative estimate.
That is your BARE BONES BASICS, and already we are up to $188.
Now, add in things like:
Electric
Water (if you are on municipal water)
Manure removal/waste management- this varies EXTENSIVELY, but like electric and water.. it's horse number dependant, and then:
Barn Expense (mortgage/rent) {if you don't have a mortgage, count yourself lucky} We'll take OUR expense as an example of $100/stall.
So.. D/K Show Horse's COST for keeping ONE horse on board is $288/month. We charge $300/month. That means if I kept my time for taking care of each horse down to 1 hour apiece (feeding, watering, cleaning, turning in, turning out, unblanketing, blanketing, etc..) not only would I be FLYING.. I'd be making about $0.40 an hour.. or day.. or $12/month. Supposedly horses are like children.. but I don't know of ANY sort of babysitter or daycare that does 24/7 care and does it for $12/MONTH.
Other expenses to be considered- MAINTENANCE- broken boards, fence, insulators, snaps, buckets, doors, feeders... horses are DESTRUCTIVE when kept "confined".
So.. if you plan on home horsekeeping, you need to think hard about what your time is worth. It's early mornings... even when it's sub-zero and your bed is toasty warm.. it's managing flies, mud, and manure. It's forgoeing any sort of vacation, unless you can find a babysitter you trust to take on the daunting task of keeping an eye on your four-legged mischief machine. And when you've not been able to ride because you're chopping ice out of buckets, or mowing acres of pasture, or spreading manure, or just plain trying to keep up on repairs, it's helpfull to believe it's worth saving that $10 spot. At least, when you're done with chores you can run into your local Starbucks and grap a coffee. Don't bring a friend though.
Perhaps you're thinking perhaps of just adding a boarder into the mix in your already established barn. You already KNOW that boarding isn't a money making proposition. You enjoy being able to look out your kitchen window at your pride and joy. You don't ride as much as you used to- barn chores have eaten up a lot of that time, but there's a lot of satisfaction still to be gained by listening to your babies contendedly munching their hay late at night. You know each snuff and wuffle your horse makes and why he makes them. You can thread your way through your barn by the light of one barely working flashlight- you've done it multiple times. You've got your set-up organized and it runs like a well-oiled machine; well, at least as well as anything involving horses can, anyway. If you fall into this category, consider this....
You are letting someone else into your personal space. Someone else who may or may not have the same sort of priorities as you.. someone else who may not do things EXACTLY the same way as you... someone else that comes complete with certain expectations of what they want to get for the money they are giving you.
Think long and hard whether or not that's worth ALMOST the cost of ONE bag of grain.
And that's just if you're adding ONE horse to a small.. say, 3 horse, operation. Too many more, and that's where grocery math comes in to play. Suddenly you have gone from buying grain by the bag, to by the ton.. and you need to build adequate storage space for that. You're not getting hay by the pickup truck, but by the wagon and need someplace to store that too.. Same for bedding. And all that increased storage area needs maintenance.. and so do the increased occupied stalls. More than 10 horses, and you'll seriously want to consider hiring help. Think how many horses you need to board to afford to hire someone. At least 10 more to pay for the help, and that means hiring a second person.......
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Social Time
In the vein of "helpful hints", I think it's time to address the most common pit-fall that amateurs often unwittingly find themselves falling into- I'm talking about when social time overtakes riding time. You've seen those riders sitting on the rail chit-chatting, (you may have even been one of them) ride a lap or two, then stop and talk for awhile again. That's all well and good, but you're not doing a single favor to yourself or your horse.
Wait!, you say. I pay a lot of money to go to horse shows. They are my "getaway". This is what I work for. I would nod and agree. You are right- you do. You certainly deserve the time to catch up with old friends. However, consider this- 1) You are simply teaching your horse that when they see a group of people they get to stop. 2) You've spent a LOT of money to get to that show to COMPETE. {if it's a vacation you want- there are a lot of differant places you could go that are cheaper and less labor intensive} If you aren't there 100% for your horse when you are riding, your horse won't be there 100% for you. When you sit and chat you lose focus on your horse and what you want to accomplish. Your horse also gets bored and loses focus on you.
If you're not telling your horse what to do, then he's going to start coming up with things and you may or may not like what he comes up with! Broken down, the time you spend on your horse's back is only a small percentage of the time you spend at a horse show. Socialize some time other than schooling time. Give your horse the respect of a little focus, and he will reward you with his.
Wait!, you say. I pay a lot of money to go to horse shows. They are my "getaway". This is what I work for. I would nod and agree. You are right- you do. You certainly deserve the time to catch up with old friends. However, consider this- 1) You are simply teaching your horse that when they see a group of people they get to stop. 2) You've spent a LOT of money to get to that show to COMPETE. {if it's a vacation you want- there are a lot of differant places you could go that are cheaper and less labor intensive} If you aren't there 100% for your horse when you are riding, your horse won't be there 100% for you. When you sit and chat you lose focus on your horse and what you want to accomplish. Your horse also gets bored and loses focus on you.
If you're not telling your horse what to do, then he's going to start coming up with things and you may or may not like what he comes up with! Broken down, the time you spend on your horse's back is only a small percentage of the time you spend at a horse show. Socialize some time other than schooling time. Give your horse the respect of a little focus, and he will reward you with his.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
What I Shoulda Said...
I hate those moments. You know the ones- where you are presented an opportunity to display your sparkling wit, your razor-sharp tongue, and in a matter of seconds put someone in "their place"... That twirling turn of phrase that avenges all wrongs, both real and imagined, and places you firmly higher-up on the intellectual ladder... Yes, of course, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
The reason I hate those moments? It's simple. It is because ever single time those moments present themeselves you go completely blank. It's not until after the fact that you are suddenly hit with "what you should have said".
I recently had one of those times. I was presented with an opportunity in which to verbally "put the smack down".. and instead, I did the complete opposite. I may as well have curled up on the ground and showed my belly. Ahh... some small consolation... I didn't actually make a verbal a$$ of myself either.
It wasn't until later, while in the bathroom (a freudian connection perhaps?) that what I should have said came to me. Instead of staring blankly and mumbling something about not blogging much recently, I should have smiled sweetly, and said...
"Hey, it's not really "all about YOU", but if the shoe fits..."
The reason I hate those moments? It's simple. It is because ever single time those moments present themeselves you go completely blank. It's not until after the fact that you are suddenly hit with "what you should have said".
I recently had one of those times. I was presented with an opportunity in which to verbally "put the smack down".. and instead, I did the complete opposite. I may as well have curled up on the ground and showed my belly. Ahh... some small consolation... I didn't actually make a verbal a$$ of myself either.
It wasn't until later, while in the bathroom (a freudian connection perhaps?) that what I should have said came to me. Instead of staring blankly and mumbling something about not blogging much recently, I should have smiled sweetly, and said...
"Hey, it's not really "all about YOU", but if the shoe fits..."
Friday, May 16, 2008
Dancing With The Stars
To stick with the early show season helpful-hints trend- lets talk about something most people barely give a thought to-- leading.
The FOUNDATION of respect from your horse is built on the end of the lead rope. To understand just what proper leading is like, or should be, one must understand dancing, or at the very least, have watch the movie Dirty Dancing. Remember that scene- my space / your space ? Well, that is the basic gist.
Your horse has a "bubble" of personal space. This "bubble" is something you should respect. You, the handler, also has a bubble, and this personal space is something your horse needs to respect. Your horse should NEVER invade your personal space without invitation, and you should avoid invading your horse's bubble without good reason. If your horse enters your bubble, you, as head of your "herd" need to remind him to STAY OUT, and you must do so with prejudice.
Your horse, on the other hand, must be taught that should you invade his space for any reason, then in order for him to regain his space he must move away- thereby maintaining his bubble and yours.
Once your horse understands that concept, leading becomes more like dancing. (See, you should have had faith that I'd get back to dancing!) You step left- your horse steps left. You step right, your horse steps right. It's basic safety, it's the basis of respect undersaddle, and it'll win you showmanship points if that's your goal. You "lead", your horse will follow- like the good dance partner that he is.
The FOUNDATION of respect from your horse is built on the end of the lead rope. To understand just what proper leading is like, or should be, one must understand dancing, or at the very least, have watch the movie Dirty Dancing. Remember that scene- my space / your space ? Well, that is the basic gist.
Your horse has a "bubble" of personal space. This "bubble" is something you should respect. You, the handler, also has a bubble, and this personal space is something your horse needs to respect. Your horse should NEVER invade your personal space without invitation, and you should avoid invading your horse's bubble without good reason. If your horse enters your bubble, you, as head of your "herd" need to remind him to STAY OUT, and you must do so with prejudice.
Your horse, on the other hand, must be taught that should you invade his space for any reason, then in order for him to regain his space he must move away- thereby maintaining his bubble and yours.
Once your horse understands that concept, leading becomes more like dancing. (See, you should have had faith that I'd get back to dancing!) You step left- your horse steps left. You step right, your horse steps right. It's basic safety, it's the basis of respect undersaddle, and it'll win you showmanship points if that's your goal. You "lead", your horse will follow- like the good dance partner that he is.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Since show season is upon us, I thought it might be nice to impart some hints and tips to make sure everyone gets the most out of their show year.
It's a given that horses, especially at the start of the season, get to a show, and seem to forget about 50% of what they learned over the winter. They're "high". They're excited to be "out & about" and are overwhelmed with the need to see and hear everything, and "talk" to everyone.
Nothing can be more frustrating than to take your ordinarily "tame" horse to a show and have them become a screaming, prancing, ninny that stomps on your feet, breaks your equipment, knocks into you and generally embarrases you at every turn. That'll take the fun out of horse showing, lickity-split.
What can you do? A horse is a horse, of course, of course- right? Well, yes, and no. There IS plenty you can do to help insure that your horse is a well behaved, enjoyable, horse show companion. No, it does not involve sticks, carrots, or talking with a "down-under" accent. It does involve a lot of common sense and firm consistency.
In other words... dealing with horses (like raising young children) is the last of the benign dictatorships. It really is- BECAUSE I SAID SO, and ITS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. What this means- you ask nicely, but accept nothing but compliance. You make the right things easy, and the wrong things hard (or uncomfortable) for your horse. You're setting them up for success, and conditioning them to behave under all circumstances.
In the majority, problems experienced with horses showing stem from a certain degree of barn-sourness. Speeding up- the second direction, going toward the gate (flat and jumping..) Dropping inside shoulder going the second direction, prancing when exiting the arena. Anyway.. the list can go on.. What to do?
When Schooling: 1) School downward transitions going TOWARD home, and upwards going AWAY. 2) Dismount in an area well away from the gate. Preferably a "scarey" area. Make that area a "good" spot. After all, what's NOT good about getting done working?
Change the Location of "Happy-Land". Your horse gets fed, watered, and gets to rest in their stall. Why wouldn't they want to get back there ASAP? Really, horses aren't the dumb animals we accuse them of being. So.. since you can't feed your horse in the middle of the arena (okay, okay.. at home, maybe you can), and you need to take your horse out of their stall to work (yuck!) them, what CAN you do? Make "home" a little bit less appealing by not providing them with instant gratification when they return to it. I.E.- don't immediately remove their saddle. Leave them a bit uncomfortable for 30 minutes or so. Tie them up. Again, it's about them not being made super comfortable the moment they get back to their stall. Tie them in their stall- remove a little bit of their liberty. (remember, if you're tying for any length of time, tie where they can reach their water) BONUS- this teaches your horse patience. Think about it. What horses are the most patient and well behaved? Roping horses. Ranch horses. Horses that have to spend large chunks of their day standing tied. It's not mean. It's simply becomes a way of life. Doing these things when you return your horse to their stall isn't about making their stall a miserable space, it's about changing the association with returning to their stall and good things happening. Good things still happen there, just not immediately.
Take your time returning. When you DO finish up, and are returning your horse to their stall (paddock, or whatever) dismount and lead them (firstly, this never allows them to think that they can take (carry) you back to the barn) very slowly. This is very, very simple. It re-enforces the "DO NOT rush back to the barn" mentality that the other steps help instill. It also helps to break the link in your horse's mind with ending work and returning to "happy-land".
These things take virtually no time or effort on your part- only awareness. And they work. How can you beat that?
It's a given that horses, especially at the start of the season, get to a show, and seem to forget about 50% of what they learned over the winter. They're "high". They're excited to be "out & about" and are overwhelmed with the need to see and hear everything, and "talk" to everyone.
Nothing can be more frustrating than to take your ordinarily "tame" horse to a show and have them become a screaming, prancing, ninny that stomps on your feet, breaks your equipment, knocks into you and generally embarrases you at every turn. That'll take the fun out of horse showing, lickity-split.
What can you do? A horse is a horse, of course, of course- right? Well, yes, and no. There IS plenty you can do to help insure that your horse is a well behaved, enjoyable, horse show companion. No, it does not involve sticks, carrots, or talking with a "down-under" accent. It does involve a lot of common sense and firm consistency.
In other words... dealing with horses (like raising young children) is the last of the benign dictatorships. It really is- BECAUSE I SAID SO, and ITS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. What this means- you ask nicely, but accept nothing but compliance. You make the right things easy, and the wrong things hard (or uncomfortable) for your horse. You're setting them up for success, and conditioning them to behave under all circumstances.
In the majority, problems experienced with horses showing stem from a certain degree of barn-sourness. Speeding up- the second direction, going toward the gate (flat and jumping..
When Schooling: 1) School downward transitions going TOWARD home, and upwards going AWAY. 2) Dismount in an area well away from the gate. Preferably a "scarey" area. Make that area a "good" spot. After all, what's NOT good about getting done working?
Change the Location of "Happy-Land". Your horse gets fed, watered, and gets to rest in their stall. Why wouldn't they want to get back there ASAP? Really, horses aren't the dumb animals we accuse them of being. So.. since you can't feed your horse in the middle of the arena (okay, okay.. at home, maybe you can), and you need to take your horse out of their stall to work (yuck!) them, what CAN you do? Make "home" a little bit less appealing by not providing them with instant gratification when they return to it. I.E.- don't immediately remove their saddle. Leave them a bit uncomfortable for 30 minutes or so. Tie them up. Again, it's about them not being made super comfortable the moment they get back to their stall. Tie them in their stall- remove a little bit of their liberty. (remember, if you're tying for any length of time, tie where they can reach their water) BONUS- this teaches your horse patience. Think about it. What horses are the most patient and well behaved? Roping horses. Ranch horses. Horses that have to spend large chunks of their day standing tied. It's not mean. It's simply becomes a way of life. Doing these things when you return your horse to their stall isn't about making their stall a miserable space, it's about changing the association with returning to their stall and good things happening. Good things still happen there, just not immediately.
Take your time returning. When you DO finish up, and are returning your horse to their stall (paddock, or whatever) dismount and lead them (firstly, this never allows them to think that they can take (carry) you back to the barn) very slowly. This is very, very simple. It re-enforces the "DO NOT rush back to the barn" mentality that the other steps help instill. It also helps to break the link in your horse's mind with ending work and returning to "happy-land".
These things take virtually no time or effort on your part- only awareness. And they work. How can you beat that?
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Oohhmmmmm,
Everyone has their own method to unwind, and de-stress. Some party. Others meditate. Some drool mindlessly in front of the television. It's all about what works for you. Everyone is different, so they might use a different method. It's the same for horses.
Not once, but twice this week, one of us, or someone associated with us was asked, "What method do you use?" in regards to training. Apparently the answer, "Whatever works", was not the response they were looking for. I'm guessing the correct listing of answers would be something like A) Clinton Anderson, B) John Lyons, C) Pat Parelli, with D) None (or all) of the Above being a bona-fied WRONG answer.
So.. anyway. Julie got herself a pony. This Pony is Programmed Pat Parelli style. She got quite the treat, receiving a full demo on what this pony knows, and what to do with the pony in certain situations. Did you know, that according to the Parelli Program, if/when your horse or pony gets stressed and upset, you should take your lead, (or trusty carrot stick) and swing it over and around your horse/pony's head. This supposedly simulates the mother's tail; resurrecting feelings of security, and happiness from when your horse/pony was just a little tyke.
What the guys in the barn would like to know is: Having been breast-fed children, if they get stressed now, would you rub your ta-tas in their face to settle them down?
Not once, but twice this week, one of us, or someone associated with us was asked, "What method do you use?" in regards to training. Apparently the answer, "Whatever works", was not the response they were looking for. I'm guessing the correct listing of answers would be something like A) Clinton Anderson, B) John Lyons, C) Pat Parelli, with D) None (or all) of the Above being a bona-fied WRONG answer.
So.. anyway. Julie got herself a pony. This Pony is Programmed Pat Parelli style. She got quite the treat, receiving a full demo on what this pony knows, and what to do with the pony in certain situations. Did you know, that according to the Parelli Program, if/when your horse or pony gets stressed and upset, you should take your lead, (or trusty carrot stick) and swing it over and around your horse/pony's head. This supposedly simulates the mother's tail; resurrecting feelings of security, and happiness from when your horse/pony was just a little tyke.
What the guys in the barn would like to know is: Having been breast-fed children, if they get stressed now, would you rub your ta-tas in their face to settle them down?
Monday, March 10, 2008
Now, really...
Generally speaking, I'm a pretty easy-going person. There are a few sure fire ways to piss me off however.
The best (or worst!) way, is to tell me you're going to do something at a specific time to help me, and then not bother to show up. Then, in a flurry of "remorse", go about wasting your time in "helpful" endeavors, accomplished in a half-assed manner, making more work, instead of actually assisting.
The next best (or slightly less worse) is unfailingly making your appearance the moment the work is over. "What? You're done??" And then.... mention that you actually stood back and watched us work before making your appearance.
That's just lazy and stupid.
Give me a break. Be one or the other. I have little respect for a lazy person, but I've got even less for someone who's lazy and then tries to feed me a complex line of bullshit, trying to convince me that they aren't lazy. Hat's off though, if you're smart enough to feed me a line that's truly creative.
Stupid people I usually pity. You can't fix it, after all. If you insist on being dumb, you better work like a dog. A stupid person that works their ass off is actually sort of endearing.
Someone that's lazy AND stupid- now that's just a waste of flesh and oxygen.
The best (or worst!) way, is to tell me you're going to do something at a specific time to help me, and then not bother to show up. Then, in a flurry of "remorse", go about wasting your time in "helpful" endeavors, accomplished in a half-assed manner, making more work, instead of actually assisting.
The next best (or slightly less worse) is unfailingly making your appearance the moment the work is over. "What? You're done??" And then.... mention that you actually stood back and watched us work before making your appearance.
That's just lazy and stupid.
Give me a break. Be one or the other. I have little respect for a lazy person, but I've got even less for someone who's lazy and then tries to feed me a complex line of bullshit, trying to convince me that they aren't lazy. Hat's off though, if you're smart enough to feed me a line that's truly creative.
Stupid people I usually pity. You can't fix it, after all. If you insist on being dumb, you better work like a dog. A stupid person that works their ass off is actually sort of endearing.
Someone that's lazy AND stupid- now that's just a waste of flesh and oxygen.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Monday, March 03, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Like Owner, Like Horse?
Did you notice that some people just own a certain type of horse? Or perhaps it's that they create a certain type of horse. No matter the breeding, type, or sex of each successive horse, each one becomes a bizzarro caricature of the one preceding it.
Since it's true that everytime you handle your horse, you are teaching them something, even if it's wrong, then it's also true that you are molding their "persona". For example, I have one horse in the barn that is terribly kind and talented. This horse is also sometimes so incredibly "blonde" that it's startling. Just like their owner.
In another case, I could call one horse's owner and tell them the exact sort of day they had, based upon the day their horse had. They had a freakishly cosmic connection. That particular case was a little outside of the average, but still shows my point.
Think about the horses that you know, and their owners. The similarities are surreal, aren't they? Some of the parallels are incredible.
So.... what does your horse reflect about you?
Since it's true that everytime you handle your horse, you are teaching them something, even if it's wrong, then it's also true that you are molding their "persona". For example, I have one horse in the barn that is terribly kind and talented. This horse is also sometimes so incredibly "blonde" that it's startling. Just like their owner.
In another case, I could call one horse's owner and tell them the exact sort of day they had, based upon the day their horse had. They had a freakishly cosmic connection. That particular case was a little outside of the average, but still shows my point.
Think about the horses that you know, and their owners. The similarities are surreal, aren't they? Some of the parallels are incredible.
So.... what does your horse reflect about you?
Sunday, February 24, 2008
"Shoot low boys! They're ridin' Shetland ponies..."
Ha! Nope, that's got absolutely nothing to do with anything going on here, but I do love that quote.
So what is going on here? Damned if I know, 'cept that recent conversations have centered around the need to schedule one's time. Most importantly, scheduling time to one's self. The busier you are, the more important this is. If you do not set time aside to do only what you want to, then you are quite liable to suffer some sort of chronic meltdown. It should be no great mystery as to why people "go postal". The mystery should be why more people don't.
The last thing a person will do is set time aside for themselves. They'll bend over backwards, and inside-out for just about anyone else, but it's deemed wrong somehow to make time for numero uno, so people don't. That is, until they figure it out. If you don't figure it out, you burn-out. It's pretty simple.
That's way true in this line of work. Can't really take a day off. Horses, lacking opposable thumbs, have a hard time feeding themselves. (Okay, they CAN feed themselves, it's measuring out the rations that's so tough.. that, and operating the water hose. That can be pretty tricky.) Can't go on vacation. Vacation in this line of work costs double. #1, you're not working so you aren't getting paid. #2, even though you're not working or getting paid, you have to pay someone to stay home and do the work you could/should be doing. So, by the time you've budgeted all that in, you've got enough left in your vacation budget to maybe drive down to your local gas station, buy some coconut scented suntan lotion to rub on, and then huddle close to the hotdog heat lamps.
So instead you set aside a few hours here, maybe an evening there. I don't care what you do for a living. It's the only way to stay sane. I mean, you DON'T have to look after your mental well-being, by taking time for yourself. You might have the sort of complexion that looks really good in stark white, backgrounded with rubber, under flourescent lighting. If you don't, schedule a break time. Guard it ferociously.
I've got my time. You try to infringe upon that, and I have a tendency to grow fangs and claws. To let you know, it's been a loooonnngg time since I've had a rabies shot.
So what is going on here? Damned if I know, 'cept that recent conversations have centered around the need to schedule one's time. Most importantly, scheduling time to one's self. The busier you are, the more important this is. If you do not set time aside to do only what you want to, then you are quite liable to suffer some sort of chronic meltdown. It should be no great mystery as to why people "go postal". The mystery should be why more people don't.
The last thing a person will do is set time aside for themselves. They'll bend over backwards, and inside-out for just about anyone else, but it's deemed wrong somehow to make time for numero uno, so people don't. That is, until they figure it out. If you don't figure it out, you burn-out. It's pretty simple.
That's way true in this line of work. Can't really take a day off. Horses, lacking opposable thumbs, have a hard time feeding themselves. (Okay, they CAN feed themselves, it's measuring out the rations that's so tough.. that, and operating the water hose. That can be pretty tricky.) Can't go on vacation. Vacation in this line of work costs double. #1, you're not working so you aren't getting paid. #2, even though you're not working or getting paid, you have to pay someone to stay home and do the work you could/should be doing. So, by the time you've budgeted all that in, you've got enough left in your vacation budget to maybe drive down to your local gas station, buy some coconut scented suntan lotion to rub on, and then huddle close to the hotdog heat lamps.
So instead you set aside a few hours here, maybe an evening there. I don't care what you do for a living. It's the only way to stay sane. I mean, you DON'T have to look after your mental well-being, by taking time for yourself. You might have the sort of complexion that looks really good in stark white, backgrounded with rubber, under flourescent lighting. If you don't, schedule a break time. Guard it ferociously.
I've got my time. You try to infringe upon that, and I have a tendency to grow fangs and claws. To let you know, it's been a loooonnngg time since I've had a rabies shot.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Betwixt Between
The idea was to go to the Casino, get ourselves a spa treatment, and then a "Reserved" table at the dance club because that's what rich Cougars would do.
Hmmm....
Speak for yourself. I'm no Cougar. Yet.
However, I'm not a Kitten any longer either. You know- a Kitten. A 20-something, sexy mink. The type that loves to pounce on their "play-toy" of a significant other. If it looks like "fun", moves like fun, and smells like fun.. then POUNCE. Yeah, baby. Play Time.
I'm not a Cougar either, though. Supposedly, at some point in a woman's 40's a woman starts to hit their true sexual peak. Men go from plaything, to being taken as nourishment. (I'll take my man-thing rare, with a pinch of garlic). It's no longer Pounce and Play. It becomes Pounce and Prey.
As either a Kitten or a Cougar, sex is high on the list of importance. I am smack betwixt the two however. As a 30-something I've got loads on my plate. My peers are chasing children, running errands,-being Pee-Wee Soccer Mom's. I've got a carreer to to grow- one that keeps me incredibly busy. I'm tired at the end of the day, and I know all my peers are too. Running one hundred miles per hour in a thousand differant directions- the last thing we want is one more thing that we have to focus on. If something is going to take our attention for more than 8 seconds, it becomes just another chore. Thirty-somethings, "Multi-tasking", be thy name.
So... If we are neither Kitten or Cougar, what are we? Um.."Cats "..with something better to do?
Hmmm....
Speak for yourself. I'm no Cougar. Yet.
However, I'm not a Kitten any longer either. You know- a Kitten. A 20-something, sexy mink. The type that loves to pounce on their "play-toy" of a significant other. If it looks like "fun", moves like fun, and smells like fun.. then POUNCE. Yeah, baby. Play Time.
I'm not a Cougar either, though. Supposedly, at some point in a woman's 40's a woman starts to hit their true sexual peak. Men go from plaything, to being taken as nourishment. (I'll take my man-thing rare, with a pinch of garlic). It's no longer Pounce and Play. It becomes Pounce and Prey.
As either a Kitten or a Cougar, sex is high on the list of importance. I am smack betwixt the two however. As a 30-something I've got loads on my plate. My peers are chasing children, running errands,-being Pee-Wee Soccer Mom's. I've got a carreer to to grow- one that keeps me incredibly busy. I'm tired at the end of the day, and I know all my peers are too. Running one hundred miles per hour in a thousand differant directions- the last thing we want is one more thing that we have to focus on. If something is going to take our attention for more than 8 seconds, it becomes just another chore. Thirty-somethings, "Multi-tasking", be thy name.
So... If we are neither Kitten or Cougar, what are we? Um.."Cats "..with something better to do?
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
If You're Gonna Play, You're Gonna Pay
Horses are expensive.
No matter what you do with them, from the occasional trail ride to showing at the utmost levels, they cost and cost and cost. Granted, exactly what you do directly influences how much they cost you, but no matter what, you will pay. That's the price for this "sickness" we have.
Let's just deal with showing horses for a moment. If you want to run with the "Big Boys", you can't scimp on the details. That doesn't mean that you need to spend a fortune on a truck, or a trailer. Pulling into a show in a sweetheart of a truck with the snazzies living quarters imaginable, is NOT going to get you a better ribbon. The judges don't check the parking lots. But if you want to be a loser in posh comfort, then that's your ticket. Now, if you're pretty much independantly wealthy, you can be a winner in comfort. We should all be so lucky. The point is, to play, you have to pay, and there are some things you can't get around. The tack you use- it's got to fit your horse, and it's got to fit you. Your horse has to be trained to the level where they can perform well enough to fullfill your showing needs. Your horse has to be the raw material to be trained to that level. All of this costs. It can cost a lot.
The good news is, it doesn't always have to cost money. For a lot of things, such as initial training, and maintaining training and health, sweat equity can take alot of the burden off of the 'ol pocket book. Work, old-fashioned hard work, can literally be the differance between winning and losing when you weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth, or tripping over a Mega-Millions lottery win.
That is NOT to say that you have to be rich to win. That's not the case. You rarely see a rich loser, true. However, you can be NOT rich and still win. You pay the differance of what you can't pay in money with hard work. Consider it like this: winning has "x" value. You can pay for "x" with money (x=money), or any combination of MONEY + SWEAT (x=money + sweat, where "sweat"=time and effort). The less money you put into it, the more sweat you need. It's a simple formula, really.
There's a neat added bonus for adding in sweat to your "Win Formula". The more time and effort you put into it, the more you and your horse form a partnership that transcends any of the other partnerships in that pen. That's how the youth kid that spends every available second with their horse can beat the pants off that top pro. That kid knows their horse. They know every blink, every ear twitch, every breath, and respond accordingly.
So you can put in the money, or if you don't have money you can put in the time and effort. If you don't have time, then you need to put in the money. One way or the other though, if you want to play, you're going to pay.
It can't be done any other way.
No matter what you do with them, from the occasional trail ride to showing at the utmost levels, they cost and cost and cost. Granted, exactly what you do directly influences how much they cost you, but no matter what, you will pay. That's the price for this "sickness" we have.
Let's just deal with showing horses for a moment. If you want to run with the "Big Boys", you can't scimp on the details. That doesn't mean that you need to spend a fortune on a truck, or a trailer. Pulling into a show in a sweetheart of a truck with the snazzies living quarters imaginable, is NOT going to get you a better ribbon. The judges don't check the parking lots. But if you want to be a loser in posh comfort, then that's your ticket. Now, if you're pretty much independantly wealthy, you can be a winner in comfort. We should all be so lucky. The point is, to play, you have to pay, and there are some things you can't get around. The tack you use- it's got to fit your horse, and it's got to fit you. Your horse has to be trained to the level where they can perform well enough to fullfill your showing needs. Your horse has to be the raw material to be trained to that level. All of this costs. It can cost a lot.
The good news is, it doesn't always have to cost money. For a lot of things, such as initial training, and maintaining training and health, sweat equity can take alot of the burden off of the 'ol pocket book. Work, old-fashioned hard work, can literally be the differance between winning and losing when you weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth, or tripping over a Mega-Millions lottery win.
That is NOT to say that you have to be rich to win. That's not the case. You rarely see a rich loser, true. However, you can be NOT rich and still win. You pay the differance of what you can't pay in money with hard work. Consider it like this: winning has "x" value. You can pay for "x" with money (x=money), or any combination of MONEY + SWEAT (x=money + sweat, where "sweat"=time and effort). The less money you put into it, the more sweat you need. It's a simple formula, really.
There's a neat added bonus for adding in sweat to your "Win Formula". The more time and effort you put into it, the more you and your horse form a partnership that transcends any of the other partnerships in that pen. That's how the youth kid that spends every available second with their horse can beat the pants off that top pro. That kid knows their horse. They know every blink, every ear twitch, every breath, and respond accordingly.
So you can put in the money, or if you don't have money you can put in the time and effort. If you don't have time, then you need to put in the money. One way or the other though, if you want to play, you're going to pay.
It can't be done any other way.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Signs Of Spring
So.. famed prognosticator Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow and we're supposed to have 6 more weeks of winter? I don't believe it. Phil is just a sell-out groundhog, who's given it up for posh digs and 15 minutes of fame a year.
No matter what way you look at, when you live in Oswego County, you're guaranteed 6 more weeks of winter. If you only get 6 weeks, you're doing great. Still, I know spring is coming and coming fast.
How do I know, you ask?
It's the mares.
Horny little bitches. EVERY SINGLE ONE is in heat. It's not full blown heat. Oh, no. It's that, "Yes, touch me!" "No, not there" "Yes, there" "No don't touch" "Touch" "Don't Touch" sort of heat. Bunch of teases. My poor geldings. They haven't got a clue.
I went out to bring horses in. Timmie, as usual is in the farthest corner of his paddock. In the adjoining paddock, Sabre was looking at him, squealing. I can only assume she was squealing because she didn't like Timmie looking back at her. You see, one thing Timmie has learned is that you never can tell when the fence is fully functional. It could reach out and bite you at any moment. No sense tempting fate. He kept his nose to himself. Didn't stop Sabre from squealing at him for looking at her wrong, though.
And then there was Georgia and Lex. Georgia is normally the "Super Diva". A horse looks at her wrong, and they may just get a big ol' "Pow, right in the kisser". As a general rule, Georgia doesn't like any other horses. Specifically, Georgia doesn't like Lex. Lex, of course, loves everyone. Two legs, or four- he is the soul of affection. (Think large Labrador Retriever.. less the retriever part)
Under average conditions, so long as each horse has an adequate amount of hay in front of them, they leave their neighbors alone. Not today. Georgia is in heat. "Oooo la la, I think you're incredibly sexy" sort of heat. She kept running up to the shared fenceline, and rubbing her head and neck all over Lex's head and neck.
Poor Lex. He's got this hot mama rubbing herself all over him. What was he to do?
He tried to mount her neck.
Exactly what he was hoping to accomplish by mounting her neck, I do not know. I don't think he knew either. I think he'd just heard a rumor that that was the thing to do when you had a girl throwing themselves at you. The major problem, (outside of the obvious ones of gelding, and bodily orientation) was that there was a fence between them. So, yes, he got hung up. Thank heavens he got his front legs over the wooden part.
I say thank heavens, but I think he was embarrased. He saw me, and tried to backpedal so fast, he nearly sat down. That could have been painful for him. Lex got himself off the fence without injury, but Georgia was pissed. Lex was mortified he'd gotten caught trying to be sexy, and Georgia was mad they were interrupted. That little tramp!
Yep. There's still plenty of snow on the ground, but spring is in the air. The birds and the bees have already started migrating north. Oh. Boy.
No matter what way you look at, when you live in Oswego County, you're guaranteed 6 more weeks of winter. If you only get 6 weeks, you're doing great. Still, I know spring is coming and coming fast.
How do I know, you ask?
It's the mares.
Horny little bitches. EVERY SINGLE ONE is in heat. It's not full blown heat. Oh, no. It's that, "Yes, touch me!" "No, not there" "Yes, there" "No don't touch" "Touch" "Don't Touch" sort of heat. Bunch of teases. My poor geldings. They haven't got a clue.
I went out to bring horses in. Timmie, as usual is in the farthest corner of his paddock. In the adjoining paddock, Sabre was looking at him, squealing. I can only assume she was squealing because she didn't like Timmie looking back at her. You see, one thing Timmie has learned is that you never can tell when the fence is fully functional. It could reach out and bite you at any moment. No sense tempting fate. He kept his nose to himself. Didn't stop Sabre from squealing at him for looking at her wrong, though.
And then there was Georgia and Lex. Georgia is normally the "Super Diva". A horse looks at her wrong, and they may just get a big ol' "Pow, right in the kisser". As a general rule, Georgia doesn't like any other horses. Specifically, Georgia doesn't like Lex. Lex, of course, loves everyone. Two legs, or four- he is the soul of affection. (Think large Labrador Retriever.. less the retriever part)
Under average conditions, so long as each horse has an adequate amount of hay in front of them, they leave their neighbors alone. Not today. Georgia is in heat. "Oooo la la, I think you're incredibly sexy" sort of heat. She kept running up to the shared fenceline, and rubbing her head and neck all over Lex's head and neck.
Poor Lex. He's got this hot mama rubbing herself all over him. What was he to do?
He tried to mount her neck.
Exactly what he was hoping to accomplish by mounting her neck, I do not know. I don't think he knew either. I think he'd just heard a rumor that that was the thing to do when you had a girl throwing themselves at you. The major problem, (outside of the obvious ones of gelding, and bodily orientation) was that there was a fence between them. So, yes, he got hung up. Thank heavens he got his front legs over the wooden part.
I say thank heavens, but I think he was embarrased. He saw me, and tried to backpedal so fast, he nearly sat down. That could have been painful for him. Lex got himself off the fence without injury, but Georgia was pissed. Lex was mortified he'd gotten caught trying to be sexy, and Georgia was mad they were interrupted. That little tramp!
Yep. There's still plenty of snow on the ground, but spring is in the air. The birds and the bees have already started migrating north. Oh. Boy.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
More Products from the R.F.
Funny.. since I blogged about the Retard Factory, everytime I turn around one of the horses is doing something else "blog worthy", under that heading.
For example, ya'll already know about our figure skating Olympian in the making, "Lex". Well, Lex is also a Serial Kisser. If he figures you're in reach, watch out, he's going to get you. He'll punch his nose at you in his exuberance of affection- just hope he doesn't get you anywhere fragile. Despite the fact that his nose is softly fuzzy; his kisses are anything but gentle. He means only the best of course- but all I can think of is "George" from Of Mice and Men. (For referance, Alicia, it IS okay to give your horse kisses... I think the grouchy old man is the only one that doesn't... but make sure they don't try to kiss you back)
Then we have Dash. Ya'll haven't been introduced to Dash yet. In general he's a pretty staid individual. He's 9 years old and acts 30. Very mature, usually. He's also a closet soap eater. Yep. I said, SOAP eater. We use liquid soap as a chewing deterant. Dash is also a cribber, and as I recently found out, he's got a serious taste for soap. I sprayed the soap on, he licked it off. I didn't really watch too close, but he was probably farting bubbles later.
Romeo likes to play halter tag until his "competition" gets in a lucky tug, causing the noseband to tighten enough that he can no longer open his mouth.
Oliver grabs the nearest blanket tail flap, or tail bag, and follows along like the next little elephant in line. If said object is stationary, then he twirls, flips, tugs, pulls, until he can't go anymore, or the recieving horse kicks at him. It's amazing he's still got the pretty smile that he does.
The Retard Factory is just awash in product.
For example, ya'll already know about our figure skating Olympian in the making, "Lex". Well, Lex is also a Serial Kisser. If he figures you're in reach, watch out, he's going to get you. He'll punch his nose at you in his exuberance of affection- just hope he doesn't get you anywhere fragile. Despite the fact that his nose is softly fuzzy; his kisses are anything but gentle. He means only the best of course- but all I can think of is "George" from Of Mice and Men. (For referance, Alicia, it IS okay to give your horse kisses... I think the grouchy old man is the only one that doesn't... but make sure they don't try to kiss you back)
Then we have Dash. Ya'll haven't been introduced to Dash yet. In general he's a pretty staid individual. He's 9 years old and acts 30. Very mature, usually. He's also a closet soap eater. Yep. I said, SOAP eater. We use liquid soap as a chewing deterant. Dash is also a cribber, and as I recently found out, he's got a serious taste for soap. I sprayed the soap on, he licked it off. I didn't really watch too close, but he was probably farting bubbles later.
Romeo likes to play halter tag until his "competition" gets in a lucky tug, causing the noseband to tighten enough that he can no longer open his mouth.
Oliver grabs the nearest blanket tail flap, or tail bag, and follows along like the next little elephant in line. If said object is stationary, then he twirls, flips, tugs, pulls, until he can't go anymore, or the recieving horse kicks at him. It's amazing he's still got the pretty smile that he does.
The Retard Factory is just awash in product.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Who's Got the Controls of this Karma Thing??
I want to know who's Captain of the Karma Cruise Ship, because they need to be fired. They suck.
Diane had to put Erica down today. Complications of old age, or from Cushings; colic, an intestinal displacement of unknown origin- However you want to put it, it sucks. Erica was the resident "geriatric". She was 28. Now, with her passing, Magic is the oldest resident. That's scary. I've had Magic since she was three years old. I'm afraid of how I'm going to deal with it, "when the time comes". She's 23 this year.
Thank heavens she's currently enjoying excellent health. I hope she continues to for quite some time to come.
Diane had to put Erica down today. Complications of old age, or from Cushings; colic, an intestinal displacement of unknown origin- However you want to put it, it sucks. Erica was the resident "geriatric". She was 28. Now, with her passing, Magic is the oldest resident. That's scary. I've had Magic since she was three years old. I'm afraid of how I'm going to deal with it, "when the time comes". She's 23 this year.
Thank heavens she's currently enjoying excellent health. I hope she continues to for quite some time to come.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Don't Argue
Possibly the thing that aggravates me the most is when I offer my advice to someone who's asked me for it, and then they argue with what I've said.
Why ask me for help in the first place??
I try not to waste oxygen. That's just me- doing my part, I guess.
You ask me for an answer to a question, a lesson, help on something with your horse- and then argue with what you get, as though you somehow know more about the matter at hand? I'm positive I do not know everything. I'm also sure I know quite a bit. I've been riding since I was 5 and I've known I was going to be doing this since I was 7, and shaped my life accordingly. That's 23 years of focused learning, with a degree to top it off. However, questioning my knowledge, albeit insulting, is fine. I just don't understand what would possess someone to not only ask for me to apply my knowledge, but to PAY for me to apply it, and then argue with me.
Wouldn't it be cheaper to just argue with me in the first place, or ,better for me, to just pay me and then have me walk away so you can do your thing?
No one knows everything. A little active discourse, a little bit of questioning, that is fine. That is how we learn. That is how we develope. I try to keep an open mind. When someone questions me, it causes me to 1) re-evaluate the knowledge that I have for accuracy 2) reconsider how I am communicating that knowledge, to be sure that it is clear, and fully understood.
What I can't understand is why somepeople have to argue with me over everything. Especially when I start pushing them to thier comfort limit. Amazing, the arguing that occurs as your approach the "comfort horizon".
I wish those people would either not bother to ask me for help, or pay me to help them, then inform me that they've no intention of listening anyway, so that I can go about doing something else. I'm a busy person. Just pay me for my "help", and I'll go do something else, and stay the hell out of your way. If you absolutely must have someone to argue with, I guess I could find you a mirror or something.
Why ask me for help in the first place??
I try not to waste oxygen. That's just me- doing my part, I guess.
You ask me for an answer to a question, a lesson, help on something with your horse- and then argue with what you get, as though you somehow know more about the matter at hand? I'm positive I do not know everything. I'm also sure I know quite a bit. I've been riding since I was 5 and I've known I was going to be doing this since I was 7, and shaped my life accordingly. That's 23 years of focused learning, with a degree to top it off. However, questioning my knowledge, albeit insulting, is fine. I just don't understand what would possess someone to not only ask for me to apply my knowledge, but to PAY for me to apply it, and then argue with me.
Wouldn't it be cheaper to just argue with me in the first place, or ,better for me, to just pay me and then have me walk away so you can do your thing?
No one knows everything. A little active discourse, a little bit of questioning, that is fine. That is how we learn. That is how we develope. I try to keep an open mind. When someone questions me, it causes me to 1) re-evaluate the knowledge that I have for accuracy 2) reconsider how I am communicating that knowledge, to be sure that it is clear, and fully understood.
What I can't understand is why somepeople have to argue with me over everything. Especially when I start pushing them to thier comfort limit. Amazing, the arguing that occurs as your approach the "comfort horizon".
I wish those people would either not bother to ask me for help, or pay me to help them, then inform me that they've no intention of listening anyway, so that I can go about doing something else. I'm a busy person. Just pay me for my "help", and I'll go do something else, and stay the hell out of your way. If you absolutely must have someone to argue with, I guess I could find you a mirror or something.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
The Retard Factory
There's something in the water here. That's the only possible explanation.
Okay. I know it's not p.c. to say "retard", but as I'm fond of saying- "if the shoe fits.."
First, you have us people. We just ain't right. Mostly we've all got "Foot in Mouth Disease", but that's a subject for another blog. Still, there are plenty of Here's Your Sign, moments. Such as the other day- I was working with someone on showmanship, and the guys were about to bring the dually into the arena to unload grain. Now, there are two overhead doors in the arena, and 3 man-sized doors. Of the garage doors, one of them has 4 foot of snow up against it. I told this someone to watch out, since the truck was going to be coming in. What did they ask me? "Which way are they coming in?" Oh. Dear.
There was another time- the horses were being fed, and all the horses were eating except one. Someone picked up the feed bucket of grain, with that horse's name on it, and the horse is doing everything but jumping up and down, saying, "Me!" "Me!" They asked me- "Is this this horse's grain?" Hmmmmm..........
Still, the people aren't even close to the horses. I think it's because the horses drink more water.
First, we have Ace, the fire breathing dragon. He thinks he's as tough as they come, but he can get lost in a corner. He simply can NOT understand why the gate isn't in the corner of the paddock closest to the barn. One of these days, a gate WILL appear there, and someone will take him out through that corner. Why use the gate you came in through? That's the wrong way!
Then, of course, comes Timmie Tard.. enough said I think. However, if you don't know him- he tries to walk through solid objects on a regular basis. He also has patience to perform constantly repetitive actions until such a time as he gets his way.
Most of all, there is Lex, who is set to make equine figure skating an Olympic event. He's recently found that on the way out to the paddock, he can set his front feet, and slide them along by continuing to walk with his hind feet. This works wonderfully until the front feet start to splay, of course. Practice will make perfect, I'm sure. In our neck of the snowy world, maybe this will become a new event. Still, our figure-skating quadruped does not stop there. He was the first (and ONLY!) to get cast in the deep fresh-powder snow. Yep. Turn him out, and he drops to roll like a rock, and then needs rescuing. Alas, if he had not rolled atop the buried water-trough, he may have been okay. Instead he lay across it, much like one of those "Fat Lady on a Sofa" paintings.
Each one of the "kids" is perfectly capable of pulling a truly retard maneuver at any time, but these three really exemplify why I'm considering getting a 2-horse trailer in a fine shade of BLUE.
Okay. I know it's not p.c. to say "retard", but as I'm fond of saying- "if the shoe fits.."
First, you have us people. We just ain't right. Mostly we've all got "Foot in Mouth Disease", but that's a subject for another blog. Still, there are plenty of Here's Your Sign, moments. Such as the other day- I was working with someone on showmanship, and the guys were about to bring the dually into the arena to unload grain. Now, there are two overhead doors in the arena, and 3 man-sized doors. Of the garage doors, one of them has 4 foot of snow up against it. I told this someone to watch out, since the truck was going to be coming in. What did they ask me? "Which way are they coming in?" Oh. Dear.
There was another time- the horses were being fed, and all the horses were eating except one. Someone picked up the feed bucket of grain, with that horse's name on it, and the horse is doing everything but jumping up and down, saying, "Me!" "Me!" They asked me- "Is this this horse's grain?" Hmmmmm..........
Still, the people aren't even close to the horses. I think it's because the horses drink more water.
First, we have Ace, the fire breathing dragon. He thinks he's as tough as they come, but he can get lost in a corner. He simply can NOT understand why the gate isn't in the corner of the paddock closest to the barn. One of these days, a gate WILL appear there, and someone will take him out through that corner. Why use the gate you came in through? That's the wrong way!
Then, of course, comes Timmie Tard.. enough said I think. However, if you don't know him- he tries to walk through solid objects on a regular basis. He also has patience to perform constantly repetitive actions until such a time as he gets his way.
Most of all, there is Lex, who is set to make equine figure skating an Olympic event. He's recently found that on the way out to the paddock, he can set his front feet, and slide them along by continuing to walk with his hind feet. This works wonderfully until the front feet start to splay, of course. Practice will make perfect, I'm sure. In our neck of the snowy world, maybe this will become a new event. Still, our figure-skating quadruped does not stop there. He was the first (and ONLY!) to get cast in the deep fresh-powder snow. Yep. Turn him out, and he drops to roll like a rock, and then needs rescuing. Alas, if he had not rolled atop the buried water-trough, he may have been okay. Instead he lay across it, much like one of those "Fat Lady on a Sofa" paintings.
Each one of the "kids" is perfectly capable of pulling a truly retard maneuver at any time, but these three really exemplify why I'm considering getting a 2-horse trailer in a fine shade of BLUE.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
8 Seconds
Like many other things in life, it would be far less traumatic (taxing) if it really did only take 8 seconds to make a qualified ride. Of course, they go until you prove you're finished. In this particular case, it's a little hard to fake it. You bite the dirt or you don't. Thank heavens the "dirt" in the case is resilient, and quite comfortable, provided that you don't take the time to consider what else may have been sprawled across the air mats other than your winded body.
So- let me give you a little "back story". The 19th was the ESQHA banquet. Carrie recieved the high point award for both Sr. Western Pleasure, and Amateur Western Pleasure. (Congrats!!) It's been a very long time (think 29th birthday) since I've gone for an evening out. To relax, and knowing that things stood the chance of getting a little rowdy, I may have had a Cosmo or two. The intent was to have a few drinks, eat dinner, chill for awhile, and then while out and about maybe have another few. How was I to know that dinner was going to SUCK? The salad- I must say, looked suspiciously like the leaves from the centerpiece. Apparently it was strictly baby spinach leaves. Add some oil and vinegar (varying amounts) and one or two slices of strawberries, and some pine nuts and voila'- you've got an inedible masterpiece. It was pretty, just not at all tasty. People with nut allergies.... well.... uh..... gee..... never gave that a thought....
Of course, given my luck, I made a comment about the salad during JUST THAT MOMENT when there is a lull in conversation. You know the one- when it's otherwise silent- except for your voice, which is invariably saying the wrong thing. Ahh well, the best tasting part of the whole meal (other than the potatoes) was my foot.
And so, later on, we end up at Daisy Dukes. Given my outfit, I thought this rather,... hmmm.... ironic. Other than short shorts (yeah yeah,.. hence the name, right?) the "bar wear" is closer to my daily uniform than what I actually had on. I mean, someone actually asked me if I was a lawyer. That had to be the funniest thing I'd heard all evening. So, I found something deeply amusing in riding a mechanical bull while dressed in a pinstripe suit, with patent leather Mary Janes with 4" stillettos. Ahhhhh..... the irony.... sweet irony.. so much better than that chocolate cake (with... ick! nuts) from the banquet. And for my second ride, they were playing "Redneck Woman"; does it get any better??
A few things considering my "qualified ride"- 1) patent leather against plastic is like applying a suction cup- so in the future, all mechanical bullriders should wear patent leather . 2) For those who've seen the whole series of pictures- note: my heels never really come up. (and NO that's not an optical illusion) 3) at the start of the evening, a BULL is not what I expected to fall off of. Wearing those shoes- the least I expected was a nose bleed, if not a busted ankle. I'm damn proud of myself, even if I do say so. 4) I'm bruised all to hell. Apparently I AM too old to do something. That sucks. No more mechanical bull for me.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
"If The Shoe Fits..."
Just lately (oh.. say about the last month or so) I've been receiving a lot of compliments on my series of blogs here. They go something like this- "I laughed so hard! What a great way to vent. Um..was that one {insert subject here} about.. uh, me?"
My response? Invariable it's become, "Weeeelllll, not exactly, but, hey! If the shoe fits..."
If you've read any of this, you realize that I try not to mention any names if the subject matter can be considered negative in some light or other. Sure, most everything I blog about was inspired by an actual event- and usually multiples of that event. Sometimes it was inspired by something I read, and nothing that had actually occurred.
This is the way I see it- there are three possibilities here. 1) It's actually about you, and you know it. 2) It's not about you at all, but you're so egocentric that you think it is- because, lets face it, it's all about you. 3) For some reason you've got a guilty conscience, so it could be about you.
Since the first is fairly rare, it's the second two choices I find so humorous.
To better illuminate my point, let us revisit Danielle's, oh so controversial, blog concerning "the evil empire". This blog's main premise was referring to the Quarter Horse show industry as a whole. Because of AQHA's gargantuan size, it's extremely pervasive, much as is "the evil empire" of Star Wars fame. Due to it's megalithic proportions it exerts it's own sort of gravity (like a black hole.. or hello... Death Star) and has its own light side and its own dark side. (like a planet. 'Luke....I am your father....')
There's nothing quite so funny as a pop-culture reference getting so many peoples' knickers in knots.
So, why did people just assume that blog was directed specifically at them? Choice #2 or #3? Take your pick. You've got a 50% chance at being right. That's the same odds as predicting the weather. My guess? I think that it's going to snow or be sunny. Of course those same people, the description above, and the evil empire DO have striking similarities. I'd say a size 7 foot is a size seven foot.
So, if they are actually analogous (Hey, if the shoe fits...) to Darth Vadar and the Evil Empire, then what does that make me? I sure as hell don't have the zen-like qualities of the great jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi. So that leaves... okay, I may be pretty funny looking sometimes, but I am certainly NOT a short green dude with big ears and a snappy attitude. I may be a lot of things but I am NOT..... YODA.
My response? Invariable it's become, "Weeeelllll, not exactly, but, hey! If the shoe fits..."
If you've read any of this, you realize that I try not to mention any names if the subject matter can be considered negative in some light or other. Sure, most everything I blog about was inspired by an actual event- and usually multiples of that event. Sometimes it was inspired by something I read, and nothing that had actually occurred.
This is the way I see it- there are three possibilities here. 1) It's actually about you, and you know it. 2) It's not about you at all, but you're so egocentric that you think it is- because, lets face it, it's all about you. 3) For some reason you've got a guilty conscience, so it could be about you.
Since the first is fairly rare, it's the second two choices I find so humorous.
To better illuminate my point, let us revisit Danielle's, oh so controversial, blog concerning "the evil empire". This blog's main premise was referring to the Quarter Horse show industry as a whole. Because of AQHA's gargantuan size, it's extremely pervasive, much as is "the evil empire" of Star Wars fame. Due to it's megalithic proportions it exerts it's own sort of gravity (like a black hole.. or hello... Death Star) and has its own light side and its own dark side. (like a planet. 'Luke....I am your father....')
There's nothing quite so funny as a pop-culture reference getting so many peoples' knickers in knots.
So, why did people just assume that blog was directed specifically at them? Choice #2 or #3? Take your pick. You've got a 50% chance at being right. That's the same odds as predicting the weather. My guess? I think that it's going to snow or be sunny. Of course those same people, the description above, and the evil empire DO have striking similarities. I'd say a size 7 foot is a size seven foot.
So, if they are actually analogous (Hey, if the shoe fits...) to Darth Vadar and the Evil Empire, then what does that make me? I sure as hell don't have the zen-like qualities of the great jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi. So that leaves... okay, I may be pretty funny looking sometimes, but I am certainly NOT a short green dude with big ears and a snappy attitude. I may be a lot of things but I am NOT..... YODA.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
If I Ran the World...part 1
If I ran the world, (and I may someday.. just watch..) then experts would be allowed to do what they do, in what they've chosen to do without unsolicited advice from the unqualified. For instance, I got my hair colored today. For those who know me well, they know that I'm not exactly the most fashion conscious individual. What's "hot" in the personal appearance department somehow slips right past me. I don't think that's always been the case, but I'll admit, I'm waaaaayy out of practice.
So anyway, I got my hair cut and colored. Julie (who is an absolute magician with color btw) asks me what I want her to do. Now, I realize that we're talking about my head here, and I've got to live with whatever is done. I just look at her, blinking. I imagine I must look like some sort of retarded owl. You're asking me?? If I'm not mistaken, I believe the goal is to leave here looking, well.. better.. than when I came in. My answer was a shrug, and "do what you do." She's the expert.
I ask her what she wants to do with her horse in the general sense, or when it's going to cost a fair penny, but when it comes to his well being, I just tell her. After all, I'm the expert. She leaves me to do what it is that I do best.
If I ran the world, that's the way it'd run. Give the expert a job assignment, and get the hell outta the way. Hmmmm..... not such a bad thing really.. Maybe I should start working on my master plan.
So anyway, I got my hair cut and colored. Julie (who is an absolute magician with color btw) asks me what I want her to do. Now, I realize that we're talking about my head here, and I've got to live with whatever is done. I just look at her, blinking. I imagine I must look like some sort of retarded owl. You're asking me?? If I'm not mistaken, I believe the goal is to leave here looking, well.. better.. than when I came in. My answer was a shrug, and "do what you do." She's the expert.
I ask her what she wants to do with her horse in the general sense, or when it's going to cost a fair penny, but when it comes to his well being, I just tell her. After all, I'm the expert. She leaves me to do what it is that I do best.
If I ran the world, that's the way it'd run. Give the expert a job assignment, and get the hell outta the way. Hmmmm..... not such a bad thing really.. Maybe I should start working on my master plan.
Monday, January 14, 2008
My new love...
Oh me, oh my. So much I thought to blog on.. but somehow its completely slipped my mind in the face of ... CBS's MONDAY NIGHT TV!!!
Dear heavens, how did I miss this? Okay... okay... I know how. I'm just not much of a TV watcher. But this is great stuff. I feel so deprived. Sure, the writer's strike is on, but that only gives me an opportunity to catch up on what I've missed. Every show is incredible- How I Met Your Mother- Doogie Howser in a suit, and cute guys.. so perfect. Two and a Half Men- can't be anything more classic. It's soo inappropriate- how can you not enjoy it? Rules of Engagement- David Spade. I need say no more.
HIMYM is followed by the quirky-est, quarky-est show on TV. It zings. It zaps. It had me rolling on the floor laughing- literally. To be fair, I'm a closet dork. Okay.. maybe I'm just a dork, and there's nothing hidden about it. The Big Bang Theory brings High School back- up close and personal like. That is NOT to say that I identify with the hot neighbor girl. I wish.
Those were my friends! I could have lived in that apartment! Okay. I had other friends- (No, Julie, you were NOT a dork) but by the numbers, my friends were, in the majority, geeks. The dialog is full of polysyllabic words- exactly the type to use if some boring, quasi-literate chimpanzee tries to pick you up while you're at the bar. I almost remember what that's like.
Every Monday I expect I'll be taking a trip down memory lane. My weeks will never be the same.
Dear heavens, how did I miss this? Okay... okay... I know how. I'm just not much of a TV watcher. But this is great stuff. I feel so deprived. Sure, the writer's strike is on, but that only gives me an opportunity to catch up on what I've missed. Every show is incredible- How I Met Your Mother- Doogie Howser in a suit, and cute guys.. so perfect. Two and a Half Men- can't be anything more classic. It's soo inappropriate- how can you not enjoy it? Rules of Engagement- David Spade. I need say no more.
HIMYM is followed by the quirky-est, quarky-est show on TV. It zings. It zaps. It had me rolling on the floor laughing- literally. To be fair, I'm a closet dork. Okay.. maybe I'm just a dork, and there's nothing hidden about it. The Big Bang Theory brings High School back- up close and personal like. That is NOT to say that I identify with the hot neighbor girl. I wish.
Those were my friends! I could have lived in that apartment! Okay. I had other friends- (No, Julie, you were NOT a dork) but by the numbers, my friends were, in the majority, geeks. The dialog is full of polysyllabic words- exactly the type to use if some boring, quasi-literate chimpanzee tries to pick you up while you're at the bar. I almost remember what that's like.
Every Monday I expect I'll be taking a trip down memory lane. My weeks will never be the same.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Remembering.....
Sometimes it hurts to remember, but sometimes pain is good for the soul.
For those of you who never had the privilege of knowing "Scy" and "Badger", please visit the links below, so that new people may know what great individuals these two were.
For those of you who did have the fortune.... never forget them. They were truely amazing animals, who's greatness can only live on in those of us who knew them.
http://d2093745.u50.websitesource.net/subpage.html
http://d2093745.u50.websitesource.net/subpage1.html
For those of you who never had the privilege of knowing "Scy" and "Badger", please visit the links below, so that new people may know what great individuals these two were.
For those of you who did have the fortune.... never forget them. They were truely amazing animals, who's greatness can only live on in those of us who knew them.
http://d2093745.u50.websitesource.net/subpage.html
http://d2093745.u50.websitesource.net/subpage1.html
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
New Years Wishes
Like many people I know, I'm not even going to bother with New Year's Resolutions. What's the point? Like rules, it's they're pretty much made to be broken. Instead, this year, I'm going with New Year's Wishes.
So, without further adieu:
#1) Better than 3rd place at the World Show. No worse than that, obviously. :) Third is fine. It's wonderful, in fact, when compared to 8th, but something other than Yellow would be nice. We're going on 6 years of 3rd place ribbons. It does get old. Still, I'd rather not exchange them for anything other than Blue or Red.
#2) An end to inter-barn competition. I mean, c'mon- you're on the same team! Who cares if someone's horse is taller, or someone isn't out to the barn as much as you are, or your horse is better (or worse, or whatever!) than someone elses. Go ahead, be jealous, or smug, or whatever you want to be, but I don't want to hear about it. Don't ask me for constant affirmation that you/your horse is better in order to pad your ego. The only real competition there is out there is YOURSELF. It's not even your "non team-mates" that you face in the show pen. It's about how you progress as a horseman. It's about being better than the day before. The rest is stupidity.
#3) Chocolate will become bona-fide health food. ... You know, that's not entirely far-fetched. They've found that the less refined the cholate is (Dark Chocolate, here I come!) the better it is for your heart.
#4) Get more sleep. 2007 went by so fast. Mostly due to the fact, I believe, that every day ran straight into the next in a sleep deprived blur. Generally I couldn't remember if I'd done something that morning, or the day before, or the week before.
Ahhhh..... I hold a hope that these will work out better than resolutions. I won't hold my breath too long. Best Wishes!
So, without further adieu:
#1) Better than 3rd place at the World Show. No worse than that, obviously. :) Third is fine. It's wonderful, in fact, when compared to 8th, but something other than Yellow would be nice. We're going on 6 years of 3rd place ribbons. It does get old. Still, I'd rather not exchange them for anything other than Blue or Red.
#2) An end to inter-barn competition. I mean, c'mon- you're on the same team! Who cares if someone's horse is taller, or someone isn't out to the barn as much as you are, or your horse is better (or worse, or whatever!) than someone elses. Go ahead, be jealous, or smug, or whatever you want to be, but I don't want to hear about it. Don't ask me for constant affirmation that you/your horse is better in order to pad your ego. The only real competition there is out there is YOURSELF. It's not even your "non team-mates" that you face in the show pen. It's about how you progress as a horseman. It's about being better than the day before. The rest is stupidity.
#3) Chocolate will become bona-fide health food. ... You know, that's not entirely far-fetched. They've found that the less refined the cholate is (Dark Chocolate, here I come!) the better it is for your heart.
#4) Get more sleep. 2007 went by so fast. Mostly due to the fact, I believe, that every day ran straight into the next in a sleep deprived blur. Generally I couldn't remember if I'd done something that morning, or the day before, or the week before.
Ahhhh..... I hold a hope that these will work out better than resolutions. I won't hold my breath too long. Best Wishes!
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