Random Thoughts on Horses and STUFF

Up Dated.

2009-08-09T17:17:00.003-05:00

A very dear friend recently pointed out to me that I had a blog.. a very good one, as a matter of fact. A blog you say? No way! That is a country unheard from.

Now why did I let my blog lapse? I can only offer excuses. I've had nothing of particular wit to say. Yes, that's true. It's been a very looooong, trying, show season. That is also true. Somewhere in the middle is probably the actual reason-- my brain is currently at the creativity level of moderately intelligent pond scum, due to it going on passive shut down from over-stimulation brought on by show season. In layman's terms, my brain basically said, "Up yours! I'm taking a break. I've been trying to keep up but it's apparent you don't actually need me anyway."

I know in entries past I've said, repeatedly, that we're streamlining the business.. not working quite so hard.. Yes, well. Not so much. It's not that we've not tried. Our hearts are in the right place. Unfortunately, so is our stomachs, and we like to eat, and eat well.. which, since we've not got time to tend a garden or hunt for our supper.. well... Horse trainers are like whores- not much we won't do for money.

It's been a SUPER show season... one of the best so far as a matter of fact. But, still.. it's August. Feeling a little frayed around the edges. Regardless, it was time to bring the date up on the "last post" on the blog. March really WAS a long time ago, it doesn't just FEEL that way.

The Seabiscuit Effect

2009-03-19T21:14:00.002-05:00

There is something about times of economic recession, times of general woe and depression in the populace that gives superhuman efforts put forth by the little guy a special glow. It gives it a meaning that transcends boundaries, and the actual event is elevated beyond reason and crushed close to the national breast.
In this case the "little man" is Johnny Flynn. Which is actually kinda funny, because he stands 6' tall. But that's 6' tall on the basketball court, which just barely puts him out of pygmy status. Syracuse's epic game against the University of Connecticut was one of those moments in history that gives you, me and Joe Plumber, hope. It was the epitome of "Reality TV". Like watching Publisher's Clearing House show up at your neighbors with their gargantuan check, or like having the fairy godmother of basketball wave her magic wand over that bunch of hooligans that gets together down at the local court and immediately elevate those scrappers to star status. These sort of events give us hope for a better tomorrow- that we can achieve greatness even if we weren't born with a silver spoon in our mouth- even if we aren't perfect. We too, can exceed ourselves: all it takes is a tremendous amount of guts and titanium determination.
This isn't exactly a new phenomonon. At the tail end of the great depression, a little bay racehorse, barely above pony status, rose to the highest levels of racing. He kinda had the pedigree, but he wasn't built to do it. He didn't exactly look the part. He took down the east's blue-blooded racing star, War Admiral, in one of the smashingest upsets of all time. He broke down and came back to beat the up-and-comers soundly, depsite all the odds being stacked against him. He was Seabiscuit, and even after all these years, his performances are still fodder for the big screen. He's still a national hero.
It'll be very intersting to see how far Johnny Flynn can lead the Orange down the path to immortality. You couldn't ask for a better stable of performers if you were a coach. They're all guts and heart. Raise your glass... here's to hope.

The better they are, the harder you fall

2009-03-17T21:28:00.002-05:00

In over 20 years of riding horses- horses of all levels- I've come to this conclusion: The better they are, the more likely you are to take one HELL of a digger off them.

Some horses aren't necessarily great show horses, but they are great horses to show. These ones are successful in the pen- but almost to the last this is due entirely to what is between their ears, versus what they do, how they look, or how they move. This is Oliver. He's been exceedingly successfull- especially for a 3 year old gelding. Top 4 in the nation in a brand new class.. in his first full year of showing. Amateur Champion. ROMs in ever class he shows in. He is consistency personified. THAT is what wins for him. Movement? He's a bit above average. He's not exceptional in that department. He IS exceptional in his attitude. It takes something over the top to beat him, and that brings me to the OTHER type of horse.

The exceptional individuals- the exceptional movers.. the ones that set themselves apart somehow.. by being almost "freakish" in one department or other. These ones.. they stand above the crowd, they almost glow with that extra "something" they have. Unfortunately, that extra something lends itself to a "keen-ness", an extra sensitivity, that can, at times, make them hard to ride. They are the ones that go for weeks being a bronc, for no reason other than.. other than... well... who knows really? They are the ones that take to pitching simply because the wind and rain hit the wall near them... or someone is sweeping... They are aware of every molecule in their environment. Every vibration. That sensitivity is what sets them apart. It's what makes them special. It is that something "extra" that causes them to go from being good to great.

Of course, as a rider, one has to decide... is it for the fun of the ride, or the prize at the end?

Ohh dear. Not long now...

2009-02-18T21:24:00.001-05:00

V-Day

2009-02-12T19:09:00.003-05:00

No. Not "victory day". Although, if a guy makes it through the day without raising the ire of his woman, or a girl is able to get 'THE guy" to give her a valentines day gift, it sure might feel that way. I'm not really sure who decided to make the anniversary of a man's beheading a holiday involving love, lust, flowers and a LOT of chocolate-- but I vote to put them up against the wall first when the revolution comes.

Mostly Valentines Day is just a bunch of pressure. Everyone has different expectations. All of which is based on a laundry list of criteria that can (and has) driven the more literal minded insane. First things to consider- how far (intense, serious, intimate) is this relationship? Or, is there even any relationship? Would you like there to be? Then there is- what is your significant other/wanna be significant/just close friends/just friends/booty call's expectations regarding this holiday? Are they romantic? Not at all romantic? Just a little romantic? Do they like flowers? Are they allergic? Dinner? Movie? Chocolate? Do I need to get creative? Spa day? Or would just sex work? Are we even at the sex stage? Would I like to be? Can I use this day to get there? What do I want anyway??

Holy cow. Is it any wonder many people just break up for the duration of this "holiday". Who needs this sort of pressure?

While we're at it, lets be totally honest here. Most of the aforementioned pressure falls on the guys. When faced with such a colossal amount of it, the majority of guys do one of two things: 1) Fold. They err on the side of caution and do nothing. WARNING: HUGE HUGE MISTAKE!!! 2) They go completely overboard leading the day to feel like a marathon of appointment meeting set inside a florist's shop. Do not have the spa treatment followed by the, jewelry gift, dinner, box of chocolates, theatre, carriage ride, couple dozen roses, marriage proposal (more jewelry.. okay.. parts aren't bad), followed by.. ALRIGHT, so my point is, do NOT try to cram every single Valentine's Day cliche into ONE evening (or even the entire day). First of all it's exhausting. Second of all, unless your girl has one massive sweet tooth, your saccharine attempts at romance are going to leave her feeling faintly nauseated. On top of that, flowers only die anyway. One can be pressed to remember the day by. A dozen dead roses is just ugly.

So.. absolutely for free.. here's a little tip. KEEP IT SIMPLE. A single long stem red rose. (yellow, if you're just getting started). Maybe a small box of chocolates, or if she's diabetic, a small gift of jewelry. (note: I did NOT say cheap) Hey, if she really likes romance and you know it, do both. The secret here is to go all Tooth Fairy on her.. and by that I don't mean dressing up your hairy self in a tutu... I mean, make it a SURPRISE. Get her when she least expects it. Leave a rose somewhere unexpected.. like maybe on her pillow. You might have to be a little more obvious with the jewelry and chocolate. It'd really suck if that diamond bracelet wasn't found until the next time you defrosted the freezer. (Ice on ice.. how nice. sorry, I couldn't resist) Oh yeah, another word to the wise- do not, I repeat, do NOT buy her an electrical appliance for Valentines Day. For the kitchen, I mean. What you do in the bedroom is your business. That is, if you're to that stage.

Brrrr....

2009-02-05T23:17:00.002-05:00

It's been a very cold January. Freakin' cold. It's hard to work the horses. Heck it's pretty much impossible. Not only do you worry about their lungs, and getting them sweaty (thereby potentially inviting a cold), but they don't want to be out there any more than I do. The ground in the indoor is close to frozen- that means it's dusty (all the moisture in the dirt has crystallized), and paradoxically all the rocks rise to the surface. Ain't that fun to step on, if you're a horse?

It's not just working the horses I have a hard time with. I even have a hard time turning them out. The walk up and down the lane, to and from the paddocks is long, grueling, and the snow squeaks. Yes, I said squeaks. Have you ever heard squeaky snow? If not, I hope you never do. Squeaky snow means it is DAMN cold. Due to the cold, my little hooligans get turned out alone. Skin splits easy in this weather. That, in turn means more trips to and from the paddocks. NOT. The more lackadaisical of my ponies get turned out in the indoor. They probably get the better end of it. It might be dusty, but it doesn't squeak. Still, that is not the worst of it. The reason that I really hate turning the horses out right now? By the time I'm done my ass is frozen. I don't mean that metaphorically either. My feet are fine. My hands are pretty numb, but otherwise okay. My ass, on the other hand (so to speak), is absolutely frozen. It's so cold it feels like it's on fire. Why? Because it's my furthest appendage. You could say that my assets are frozen. *groan*.... even I realize that was bad. Excuse me, but my brain is frozen as well.

Oh dear... maybe I AM old...

2009-01-22T20:03:00.003-05:00

I've been in denial. I mean, okay.. maybe I've got a touch of a Peter Pan complex. I don't think it's catchy. I just don't feel old. Mostly. I might say differantly first thing in the morning when I get out of bed......

When my mother was my age, I was 11. I can NOT imagine having children at all, much less an ELEVEN year old child. Nuts. That's insane. I'm not sure I'm fit to reproduce, much less be a live-in role model for some kid. The implications of that- mind boggling. Still, it hit me today... I was passing on stories of "the good old days". Ooohh.. just saying that sends shivers down my spine... The worst of it? In the midst of listening to myself relay these stories- real, every one of them- the "mature" side of me sat up, perked her ears, and said "WHAT? Say again?!"

Okay, okay, okay... I was maybe a titch wild in my late high school years until half-way through college. At the end of my college years, I got engaged and was more than ready to settle down. Or so I thought at the time. Of course, THAT is a subject for another time. Still, at that point.. I'd rather "been there and done that". From skinny-dipping in public (in the middle of the day!!? How did we NOT get caught??), to the variety of illegal shenanigans engaged in by myself and my roomies.. from the toga parties, to the wapatoola parties.. from the guys, in all shapes and especially, sizes.... to the.... did I mention the parties?

Ahhh.. yes. The 19 year old in me misses those times. The freedom. The "joie de vivre". The 31 year old me thinks- "where you freakin' nuts?! You're lucky you made it through!" I guess both points have merit. It's not that I don't still like (even need?) to get out and stretch my wings (so to speak) every now and then. I suppose the main differance now is that my tastes are more refined. I know what I like, and more importantly I know what to avoid. Wisdom- hard, but enjoyably earned- is the hallmark of aging. Another is that little voice that doesn't whisper any more, but instead, hollers, "What?! Are you crazy? Out of your mind? Don't EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!". That voice comes through loud and clear, and now, more often than not, I follow its advice. *sigh* I guess maybe I am getting old. :-P

Unsocial Networking

2009-01-21T19:38:00.002-05:00

Facebook. It's the "MySpace for 'old people'." Lately, I do feel old, but only because I remember what it was like to be the age of my best friend's oldest daughter... and at that age, I thought my own mother was OLD. Ancient even. Unfortunately, when I was that age, my mother was younger than I am now. Reconcile that. I'm having a hard time with it. Still.... that's a subject for another heading.
So, anyway, FACEBOOK. Yeah, I've joined the "social networking" throngs. I'll also admit, straight out, I'm addicted. They've got almost every game you could want to wile away the time with. Myself, I'm a huge fan of the interactive Horse Racing application. Great entertainment that I can partake of while simultaneously doing billing, answering email, uploading video or any one of the other millions of things that have to be done on the computer. Multi-tasking, amen.
There is an interesting fringe benefit to this "social networking" however, and that is....... I'll NEVER EVER EVER have to attend a class reunion. I've managed to catch up with anyone and everyone I may have ever been the slightest bit curious about since high school. (and, if I haven't caught up with them yet, there is a very good chance that I will before the next reunion) I've noticed that they are all married (or in the process of..), and have kids (or are in the process of). Apparently, divorced, I'm ahead of the curve. So I've caught up on even with my married "friends" without that awkward couple/non-couple-itis. SECOND, and most important.. I've now seen all their kids, without actually having to see their kids. Now, I don't have to tell anyone how cute their kid is, unless I mean it. Hallelujah.

Resolutions

2009-01-07T22:16:00.002-05:00

So.. here we are- 2009. Traditionally, on the New Years, people make a resolution to change something about themselves in the coming year. Then, on the second day they break it. No, just kidding. Sometimes they last a few days. We all know my resolution- I was swearing off cookies; at least for a little while. So far, so good. I've cut wwwaaaaaaayyy y back anyway. My actual resolution? I want to be more fit in the year 2009. I think that can only be to the good for my riding. I'm doing fair at it. A little more yoga. A little more pilates. A LOT more water.

Now we have Kenn, the traditionalist that he is; he did NOT make a resolution for 2009, so I made one for him. It seemed rather common of late that we'd been hearing a lot about how expensive horse showing is. How it's expensive and and people work to hard to afford it, to not have fun at it. Kenn, being the driven, focused person that he is, can become very competitive, and occasionally this rubs people the wrong way. So, my resolution for him fell into the realm of "customer service"- back off, and relax. They're doing this for fun. That resolution lasted a whopping total of 4 days.

No, he didn't go off on anyone. He didn't hound anyone for slacking. As a matter of fact, I was the one who released him from his promise. Now why would I do that??

Well, it was actually a Non-Pro that really cleared this grey area up for me. She put it so succinctly that I could find no arguement. She's completely, and totally right. She put it this way:

She works too hard to have the money to go to these shows (breed shows are expensive dammit!) to NOT go and try to win. She invests too much to shirk on her "homework"- her horse's training, her clothes, the trailer, the equipment, and mostly, the hours of practice. She spends too much time and money hauling to these shows to NOT push herself and her horses to be the best they can be, and to see just how far they can go together. That is the point. That is the reward. If she just wanted to have fun, she says, she'd go to Open shows. Not only are they cheaper, you usually stand a shot of winning back some money. In addition to less fiscal commitment, you don't need the time commitment. You can be a true weekend warrior at the Open shows. No need to scramble and juggle just to find time to practice during the week. Skip that, and just go show.

That's not to say that horses are her first priority. They are not. Her family is. She is very clear about this. Horses rank second on the list. But here's the thing: she's got a "list". She knows what her priorties are. In knowing, she's able to balance her time and finances in such a way that she's achieved a LOT of success in the horse world.

So maybe the thing to do in the new year isn't to make a resolution. Maybe it's time to take a deep look at ourselves- and assess our goals, priorities, and motivations. We can save ourselves a lot of time, money, and frustration just by showing at the appropriate level- talent AND commitment wise.

Hee Haw

2008-12-29T22:19:00.000-05:00

"Hey, won't that crease your Sunday-go-ta-meetin' suit?!"

The Land Before Time- barn edition

2008-12-24T00:14:00.001-05:00

"It's awright Petrie. Lots of things do no fly. Rocks.. Sticks.. Spike." Littlefoot. Sera. Ducky. Petrie. SPIKE. We all know them. They're the the "kids" from the Land Before Time movies and cartoon series. It's one of those movies with universal age appeal. We're getting our very own Land Before Time cast at the barn. First, we have Oliver, starring as Littlefoot... Party as Ducky... and Spike starring as HIMSELF. Spike is our resident newbie. He's a big. He's got chrome. He's a fancy mover. Sweet as the day is long, and sometimes, just sometimes, we call him "Steggy" as in Stegosaurus- since that is what "Spike" was in LBT, and they've got a brain the size of a walnut, located, appropriately, in their tail.

Really, though, he's a darling. I can't say he isn't scared of anything- but he's a master of the "advance and retreat" school. If there's something scary, it goes like this: Snort. Blow. Jump backward. March up to it. Touch it. Promptly forget anything was scary in the first place. He's the spitting image, training-wise of his half sister that we had in last summer. He's a better mover up front, and so powerfull behind as to overpower himself sometimes. This can lead to some entertaining moments as he's starting to learn how to balance himself on small circles, with a saddle. It's good he's athletic, because sometimes, he's not quite gracefull.

He's steady. He's cute. Even now, in the early stages, he doesn't let much rattle him. His topline even stays pretty much the same. Spike doesn't learn anything in lightening quick flashes. On the flip side of that, because he doesn't jump forward in his progress, he doesn't fall back either. He's progressing along the learning curve at a steady, plodding, forward pace. Spike was named after the character in "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer". To know him, however, is to suspect he's more accurately named after Spike from the Land Before Time.

Bah Humbug!

2008-12-24T00:00:00.001-05:00

Ho ho ho. Tis the season. You know what I'm taking about- the season for hot cocoa (made with milk, and extra marshmallows of course!), pies, hams, cookies, (oooooohhhhh oh oh... the coooookkkiiieesss. {pardon this pause in the regularly scheduled program- must wipe away the drool}), carmels, cakes, cookies, candy canes, gingerbread, puddings, cookies, cookies and... did I mention cookies? There's sugar cookies, gingerbread cookies, chocolate chip, pineapple, oatmeal, chocolate drop, snickerdoodles, no bakes, peanut butter,... The list is virtually endless. Oooooh. Excuse me. I'm drooling again.
And so, here I am. I have the will power of a gnat, especially, when it comes to sweet stuff. I've been trying valiently since the last big Fat Holiday (Thanksgiving) to cut back. I'm not as, um, as metabollically resilient as I used to be. Alas, there was a time I ate like I was retarded. This hasn't exactly caught up to me, per se. I just can't do it anymore. If I did, I'd blow up like you shoved an an air-hose into one of my orifices. So I've changed to sugar-substitute in my coffee (even at Dunkin Donuts!) and cut out a lot of the creamer. I've chopped most of the bread out of my diet too. All enriched white bread is "adios". Sticking with whole grain- and mostly wheat at that. And still the cookies call my name. Cookies at home. Cookies at the barn. Cookies are the 'gift de jour' this season. Alas, the sweet taste of weight gain.
So how am I reinforcing my wishy-washy willpower? Aside from chewing off my fingernails? I'll let you in on a little secret... It's BREECHES. Yes, breeches. I'm talking about hunt seat breeches. It's always enough of a trauma to slip (okay, shimmy, bounce, yank and pry) them on for the first time at the beginning of show season. It's worse if they don't fit at all. It's worse yet if you're trying to ride and worrying about splitting a seam. When you put on the hunt seat clothes, you generally try to project a certain image. A "Look". Long, lean and in harmony with your horse. Not overpowering them. Not looking like the RIDER should be hooked to a plow. Normally I plan on being "fighting-fit" sometime at the beginning of summer. I figure (pun intended?) that I'll peak in late October- same as my horses. Not this year however.
This year I have an extra bit of mental ammunition to use to bolster my feeble will-power. I've got to look good in my breeches by mid-June. The Pinto World Show is one of the first World Shows of the year. It comes at a time that's particularly early for us northeasters. Traditionally, up here, we don't feel like we've safely shaken off the last of snow's flakes until we've passed the Memorial Day mark. We may be wearing shorts, but our scarves aren't far from our reach. The winter, "insulating", weight goes on us fast. It tends to come off very slowly. So instead of indulging for the holidays and worrying about it later, I've got to be more aware of my intake. I've got to start now getting fit. Alas, my cookie intake is limited for the season. So, unfair! Where is the joy?! Still... a few chocolate chips, weighed against a World Championship? The chips lose. Sure, no one wins a World title just because they look hot in their hunt clothes, but you can sure bet it cuts their odds of winning WAY DOWN if they look like a beige blimp.

Edit 1: Okay, okay.. upon re-reading this, I realized it sounds pretty darn superficial, and so I'll add a little something that I figured just "went without saying". I'm not cutting back on my cookie consumption JUST because I want to look better. UGH. Let's face it. I want to be fit. Maybe even healthy. (Of course, the Russians have a saying- "If you don't drink and you don't smoke, you'll only die healthy". Amen.) When I'm thin and I'm fit I ride better. When I ride better, my horses certainly appreciate it.

Look at this and tell me what you see....

2008-11-27T14:24:00.006-05:00

Anthromorphize- transitive verb : to attribute human form or personality to
intransitive verb : to attribute human form or personality to things not human

We all know that it's not the best idea to anthromorphize our horses. I mean, we all KNOW they are horses, they're prey animals, they are associative learners and in general do not see or think they same as we do. Sure, we KNOW that. However, for horse people, in this case, knowing and doing are two separate things. It's hard not to humanize our "kids". Our emotional attachment is such that we must. Aware of this trait in horse owners, the marketing masterminds that are Parelli gave us the "Horsenality Profile". (check out the Nov. issue of Horse & Rider magazine)

Using this "Horsenality Profile" we can supposedly chart our horse's "type"(left brained, right brained, introvert, extrovert and all the combos of) and determine their "horsenality" hereby giving us greater insight into what makes our horses "click". Uh. Sure. Ok. So.. I thought I'd give this profiling a shot on some of our new horses- and now I'll share them here, by way of introducing some of the new characters (character being the operative term) in the barn.

First there's Digs. Ahhh..... Digs. He's a 4yo halter-bred gelding, Jr. HUS horse, with a top 10 world show placing under his belt already in 2yo HUS. The best way to describe Digs? For those of you who know "Timmie"- Digs is Timmie x 2 (T2 as I call it.) He's everything in Timmie's personality only more so, and sensitive to boot. He's big. He's talented. He's resentful of the world in a general sort of way, and playful enough for twelve horses. So lets check out our "Horsenality" chart and see where Darling Digs falls....

Right brain or Left brain? Lets see.... start with right brain: fearful or nervous? NO unconfident? NO defensive? YES reactive? NO hmm.... okay, Left Brain now: dominant? YES. pushy? DEAR GOD YES. tolerant? hmm... define tolerant... confident? HELL YES. curious? ALWAYS. Ok. I guess that means that Digs is Left Brained.

Now is he an Introvert or Extrovert? Extrovert: high energy, more "go", quick and a tendency to run? Uh... not really. Unless the snow is falling off the roof.... then..... Or at liberty.
How about Introvert? Low energy (plenty there.. but it's set on slow burn), more "whoa" (umm.. like only his favorite word ever) slow (given the option, apsolutely), tendency to stop (oh, let me count the ways....) I would have to say that Dig's would be an Introvert most of the time.. So, to clarify this lets get into specific traits, and see exactly where he falls..

LB Introvert: Clever? OH MY.. YESSSS. Non-repsonsive? Old mister elephant hide? YES, when he wants to be. Disinterested? Naw.... he's totally in the moment. Arguementative? YES, YES, YES. Food oriented? UH HUH! "Lazy"? BETTER BELIEVE IT. Easily Bored? In about 2.5 SECONDS!!

How about LB Extrovert: Playful? Sometimes Smart? HELL YES. Charismatic? WHEN HE WANTS TO BE. Naughty? OMG! Mischievous? OH MY OH MY OH MY. Mouthy? WHO? PIRHANNA BOY? Willful? MOSTLY. Exuberant? NOT SO MUCH.

Results: Digs is LEFT BRAINED, no doubt. He's an extrovert when dealing with him on the ground and an introvert undersaddle. So what does Linda Parelli say about Left Brained horses? (re: Horse & Rider acticle interview, Nov. 2008)

"This horse is much more self confident, so he's actually not looking for a leader, and in fact will challenge your leadership skills." (check!) "He's totally "present" and can "get" something in one or two repetitions." (check) "If you start doing 10 to 20 repetitions, however, he'll start thinking, 'Ask me that one more time and one us has to die! And it's not going to be me!'" (check! check! and DOUBLE CHECK!!!) "We tend to advance too slowly with these horses- we don't give them enough to do. So the horse starts pushing us around (the LB extrovert) or refusing to do anything (the LB introvert)." (Holy freakin' Cow!!! Have they actually met Digs???????)

Huh.... who knew.. This is kinda neat stuff. While any good horseman would tell you.. "DUH", it doesn't change the entertainment factor. Besides, having a spiffy little chart sure beats trying to find a black leather couch large enough to support your horse's butt and a shrink that takes "neigh" for an answer.

*note: Digs is doing fabulous.. so long as what you're asking is clear.. the differance btwn. right and wrong is black and white, and he's rewarded when he's good.. and we don't do the same thing everyday :)

Perfectly Imperfect

2008-11-18T21:20:00.002-05:00

In this line of work it's your JOB to point out what someone is doing wrong. It's also your job to point out when someone is doing something right. It's desperately difficult to not let this filter into your "home" life. So, I have a tendency to point out people's foibles. It's the way I am. I'm not being judgemental- simply making an observation. Apparently, having one's foibles pointed out makes people uncomfortable. In cases they tend to become resentful assuming that either- a) I point these things out because I am "oh so perfect" or b) I point these things out because I'm trying to make myself feel better. I hate to disabuse people of dearly held notions, but I'm honestly only making observations. It's all in the same vein as observing that the sky is a particularly lovely shade of mauve this evening, or that the trees are as starkly naked as a playboy bunny on the day she was born.

Making observations is human nature. We make observations about everything. As such, I do not make observations only about other people. I KNOW where my flaws are. I've got more of them then an old pair of cheap sunglasses. #1) I'm painfully shy. - not the best trait in someone who holds a very social job. #2) I hate crowds. Not just a little hate either. Sure, I can deal with them in the short term, but after awhile I truly become dysfunctional. It's sad, and, again, not a great trait for someone in my line of work. #3) I have a very hard time delegating. (see #4) #4) I like things a certain way. That's why I have a hard time delegating. I want things done the way I want them done, and therefore it's easier if I just do it myself. #5) I'm a social retard. I spend way to much time in the barn. I'm rusty when it comes to carrying on a TWO sided conversation. Again, not a top notch trait. #6) I can't remember birthdays, names, or anniversaries. Remembering horses registered names, registration numbers, and most birthdays- that's cake. The list could go on, but I'm thinking that an even half-dozen is
sufficient for the moment.

The thing with flaws is this: Unless you know, categorically, what they are, you don't know what to improve. What do you work on, if you don't know what's broken?

The other thing with flaws is much more important: Unless you know what your flaws are, how do you really ever know who YOU are? Take the things about yourself that are less than perfect, and if you can't change them, embrace them. These are the things that make you special.

Economy Size

2008-10-22T18:52:00.002-05:00

Presidential Election time.. Every notice that during any well contested presidential election, the future forecast becomes all doom and gloom. It's the eve of the apocolypse. Just ask anyone. It's on the news. We're all going straight to hell. In a hand-basket even. Dig a hole, and bury your money in it. Safer than a bank, or especially, the stock market. Better yet, dig a hole and bury yourself in it. You're broke, or if you aren't yet, you will be soon. You can't afford to drive anywhere, so forget a vacation, or traveling when you retire. Forget retirements too, since your 401k just bit the big one.

It's nothing more than a mob mentality in a panic. The mob is a force to be reckoned with. The mob's mood really does influence the country as a whole. What has happened is that we've finally woken up from the "dream" we were having where money floated down to us like manna from heaven. We treated it as it was really worth- less than the paper it is printed on. And now our largesse has come home to roost. Or has it?

So now we've had our rose-tinted glasses removed. And people are playing a little closer to the vest. But people are still spending. They are looking for more "bang for the buck", but they are still spending. They are still horse showing. They may choose their shows more carefully, and get more classes from a single horse, but they are still showing.

Overheard from a jewelry vendor at the Congress: suprise that given the economy, they had just "sold over $3,500 in sterling silver just that morning".

Horses are moving. THAT is an interesting dynamic. Average price for a Congress/World quality horse is $40,000 -$65,000. There is a LARGE number of horses in that range competing for, not a smaller number of buyers exactly, but very carefull, discerning, buyers. They are going to shop, and shop well, and do their homework thoroughly before buying.
The far end of that market, the perpetual champions.. they fall into the "stupid crazy" price range- you know- $75,000 to ??? "the sky is the limit" ??? Those horses are moving. Top QUALITY still sells. The top level (win, win, win) Regional horses (these include the occasional Congress & World placers) are between $12,000 and $25,000. Yearlings and young prospects have finally settled into a more logical niche- usually under $10k.
The flip side of this coin is where it gets interesting. Pick up any local paper that advertises horses. You'll find a large number of older, generally unregistered horses from $10 - $1000. Yes, that's right. I saw a horse advertised for sale for TEN BUCKS. That is a faaaarrr cry from horse prices just a year or two ago. Why?

Sure, fuel prices skyrocketing had a lot to do with that. However, as the major bonus to a cramped economy, fuel isn't as much in demand, so prices fall. They're still higher than this time last year, but given the decrease, it feels more like winning the lottery when you fuel up rather than having organs forceably removed without anesthetic. So, fuel prices don't account for it, entirely. Prices of horse keeping have increased, and winter is coming on. Every year prices go up, and every fall there are a number of people that look out at their pasture and realize that they have an older horse that may or may not make the winter, has special needs, or is, for what ever reason no longer wanted. Since slaughter in the US has been banned there is no where for those horses to feasibly go. Now you add in the effect of a worried populace, fretfull of their budget, and they see that horse as an expenable, unneccesary expense. It's a perfect storm in the making... an economy sized problem with no ready answer.

Tis The Season

2008-10-22T17:55:00.007-05:00

Ahhh..... fall. It's that special time of year, when the mornings get brisk, ice skims the water tanks and the BIG SHOWS take place. For the "real hunters" fall marks the start of the indoor show season. For the breed people, it marks the time of year when the big "CHAMPIONSHIP" level shows take place. Granted, World Championship shows take place year round, virtually, but there is something extra about the ones in the fall.

The call of the highway.. driving day and night... oh, yeeaaaahhhhhh. Okay. OK. Maybe that's not the best part, but it does give you time to reflect. Bonus: this time of year the scenery is lovely. Despite opting out of the Appaloosa World Show this year, we didn't miss out on the driving. We did Congress by way of Harrisburg, and while we were there, we popped in to check out the Pennsylvania National Show.

Alright! So the phone doesn't take the best pictures while driving at 70mph. Anywayyy--- 81S to Harrisburg.

The best part of the Penn National is checking out the new trends. Give it 2 or 3 years, and what catches on there eventually trickles down to the "breed" world. Thankfully, not everything catches on, and less of that goes "mainstream". Check out these boot tops spotted at Hadfield's Saddlery. I'm the first one to LOVE bling.. just NOT on my legs!

After a few days of Kenn shoeing and me producing the D/K Show Horse's Sale Video (fun headache, that!.. but that is the little part of US that gets to go the Ft. Worth) It was off to Columbus, OH. On the way, I got to see THE largest deer ever... or at least the largest buck I've ever seen in my life, not on some hunting show. It stood there, larger than a small pony, surveying the highway from on high. No, I didn't get a pic. Tough at night. This is how those come out.

Columbus, OH and the All American Quarter Horse Congress were about how I remember it- only more food vendors (yuuuuuummmmmyyyyy), less people (fewer germs! yea!! I'm still healthy.. no "crud" this time), and warmer weather (it was GORGEOUS). The shopping is larger than life. It still takes hours to get through all the vendors. Bargains are there to be had- if you are a discriminating and patient shopper.

The Congress, unlike past years, was a complete blast. Reba was great, but her real niche will be in the hunter hack next year. Speaking of, it was utterly depressing NOT to have a horse in the Jr. Talk about boring and simple. I could have cried. Plain brown rails and shrubbery...

Have You Noticed?

2008-10-01T20:46:00.002-05:00

Have you ever noticed- on every roadside work crew, there is at least ONE very fat man, whom is both every good at holding up the shovel handle so that it doesn't get dirty, and hanging out in the single lane of moving traffic.

The other day, in the distance of 10 miles I went through 2 differant road constuction sites with a VERY lardge man hanging out into traffic. Since it couldn't be the same man.... I mean, really, what are the odds exactly?

Bitchology

2008-09-26T21:23:00.002-05:00

Got this via email.. AMEN! :P

BITCHOLOGY:
When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or dothings my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in myheart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won'tallow anyone to step on me. When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak againstit, I am defined as a bitch
The same thing happens when I take time for myselfinstead of being everyone's maid, or when I act alittle selfish.
It means I have the courage and strength to allowmyself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what theythink I 'should' be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame,try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed. And if that makes me a bitch , sobe it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.
B- Babe I - In T - Total C - Control of H - Herself

B = Beautiful I = Intelligent T = Talented C = Charming H = Hell of a Woman
B = Beautiful I = Individual T = That C = Can H = Handle anything

'If you can't do something right, get a woman to do it.'

Anonymous

2008-09-07T23:01:00.004-05:00

Apparently, a recent post "Flying Changes" was percieved as "whining". I disagree. It was about being proactive about what you are doing with one's life and was based loosely upon a recent editorial in Horse & Rider- about NOT whining and doing nothing, but instead getting up and doing SOMETHING.

Some posts ARE negative for a reason, and generally those who take offense see themselves described therein. If the shoe fits... right? Those who do not, find them amusing because, invariably, they know someone who fits the description. That's the beauty of the human condition- there are all types; angelic and aggravating.

If it's offensive and whining because I will no longer allow the bickering, and complaining about other customers in the barn- then so be it. If it's wrong, instead of good business sense, to provide a quality service, and limit my involvement to what I get paid to do,- then so be that as well . At least it's clear what I think, and no matter how it's percieved, I'll sign my name to it.

Was that supposed to be scary?

2008-09-07T22:34:00.003-05:00

Sometimes, if you leave them be- they'll suprise you.....

If you've been to any of the NYS Fair horse shows that occur during the NYS Fair, you know just what a unique set of challenges are presented to anyone trying to exhibit their horse. It's almost unreal. Generally speaking, I don't like to bring young/green stock to this show. The possiblity of scaring them nearly irreversibly is very real.

This year, however, we have all youngsters, and for some reason they are ALL young ones possessed of exeptional amounts of brains, and poise. On the flip side of the "State Fair" gamble is the fact that if done right, and you get a horse through the show properly, they are broke enough at the end of it to handle almost anything.

There wasn't a single one of our horses that batted an ear at the fireworks. Nor did one of them care about the daily parade. (Just how many drums can one parade have?). We had 2 2YOs, 2 3YOs and 3 4YOs in the group. Of these babies, one 3YO had only been to one other show. She was simply the most impressive.

Sure, she was nervous walking through the barns. Have you seen some barn's decorations? *I* get a bit scared too. The most terrifying things were bags of shavings. Of course. White plastic cube-like shapes are ALWAYS to be distrusted. Very very dangerous things. Once you got into the arena- even the work pen, it was a differant story. As soon as you were astride she transformed from 3 to 30. Kids climbing on metal bleachers? Yawn. Strollers? Interesting, but only because they were potential buffets on wheels. You know, toddlers often have cool snack foods.

Even during show-time, which occured mid-day, (i.e. when the Coliseum was FULL of spectators) nothing penetrated that extreme bubble of calm. It was all very interesting, but you do realize that if you don't go around like an crazy monkey then you can check more of it out? Applause? Gee, is that for ME? True, a lot of it may have been due to putting her in a class that was of average size and full of more experienced "troopers". It's always good when you can give them a good example to follow. Still, it is the NYS Fair, and anything can (and usually does) happen.

It's always nice to take a baby through a potentially traumatic situation, and have them ask you back, "Was that supposed to be scary". That weight off your chest afterward? It's called starting to breathe again.

The Good Ol Days

2008-09-07T21:49:00.002-05:00

There has been a lot of discussion about change. Change nationally (THE buzzword of this presidential campaign) and change locally. EVERYONE seems to be in some sort of flux. Dramatic changes in the economy usually precipitate change across the board. Not that our economy is really "bad" by classic definitions. People are still going out to eat, they are still spending on recreation- but with the cost of fuel having rose so dramatically, people get nervous, and they get more careful about how they spend their money. Fuel is often a large component of the cost of anything, so it's unsurprising to feel the effects of this increase in nearly every aspect of living. That's just one sort of change. In the good old days (just one loooong year ago) fuel was only $2.80. It seemed like a lot at the time, but man, we sure do miss it.

On a more immediate level, we had our last scheduled Appaloosa show of the season. This coincided with the NYS Pinto Futurity (as it does every year). Last year I felt like I was on my deathbed showing Ollie (our then 2YO HUS paint) in the futurity. I don't recall much of that- credit to the drugs I was on. I was about as sick as I've ever been. This year, fortunately, I enjoyed much better health. (and, oddly enough, minus the cold medicine, MUCH better balance...hmmm) Additionally instead of having 18+ stalls, we kept it down to 8 and only 5 trainers. What an "Ah Ha" moment.

We were stalled where we used to stall before we outgrew the area, which in regards to ammenities, is no better or worse than our more recent stalling area. What it did do was reinforce the similarities between this show and "the good old days" when showing was still a lot of fun. We were able to spend quality time with everyone and all the horses. We were able to get enough sleep to keep our senses of humor, instead of running ourselves right to the raw, zombie edge of grumpitude. I actually got to watch a class. That is the first time I got to watch a whole class (where I wasn't coaching immediately on rail) in a very long time.

So that's one change (hey, I did SAY "stay tuned"). No longer will we be taking large numbers to the show, and we'll be limiting the number of "haul-ins" - so that the number of horses we work with stays managable. It's EXTREMELY difficult in a service based business, where the "customer is always right" to say "No". However, in this line of work, there is a very high burn-out rate. Sometimes it becomes necessary. We had allowed others to start to pressure us and dictate how we did things- and found ourselves running, not walking, down that road to burn-out. As though somehow, bigger, and more, is better. It is NOT. This is too expensive an undertaking to not have fun at it.
The helm is firmly back in our hands. The emphasis will be returned to quality versus quantity. Sometimes, if we need to, we will say "no" because we are, (at least for the forseable technological future) only human, and sometimes we need to take a break to re-group. If we want to take an hour or two to ourselves, we will. So instead of being on call 24/7 we'll only be available, 22/7. - well, it's either that, or adding an hour or three to the day, and since I've not mastered manipulation of the space/time continuum yet, cutting back will have to suffice. (if you can warp time., you can email me at....)

So there- that's one change. We're going RETRO... (trendy huh?) and cutting back to the way it was in the "good old days", so we can ALL have fun, they way we used to.

Flying Changes

2008-08-26T20:02:00.003-05:00

Fall is the traditional season for change. The temperatures change, the leaves change, nearly everything changes. I started home tonight with the intent to blog and basically maintain the status quo. I was set to complain about long hours, under appreciation, and over-needy people. I was going to toot out the same tired tune on the same old horn. Why bother?

Can I change how people are? Can I change people who can't see any picture broader than their immediate needs? Can I make them less selfish? I can't stop them from wanting more and giving less. I can't stop them from thinking only of themselves. I can't stop the petty jealousy, I can't stop the whining, I can't change most of the stupid B.S., so, why dwell on it? Why make myself sick beating my head against a wall I can't move?

Instead of feeling helpless; instead of reacting; instead of letting peole push me to burn-out by needing more, MORE and MORE; instead of stressing over increased feed prices, increased fuel prices, decreased show numbers and all the usual negative "hoopla" that comprises a "day in the horse life", I decided to sit down and figure out if there is something I CAN do.

I realized that somewhere the business got swept off the track I'd planned. My life IS my business, and suddenly I'm not running it.

So I'm taking stock of what I can do. I'm evaluating what I CAN change, no matter how large, or how small. I'm set to make some serious changes. Stay tuned.

The 2+2 of Horsekeeping

2008-08-04T22:49:00.003-05:00

At a recent horse show we got together with some other trainers to swap ideas, pick brains, and basically be nosy about what the other ones are doing. The topic of boarding came up... One trainer said he finally sat down and got right into the nitty-gritty of the number's side aspect of the boarding side of their operation. What they came up with suprised the heck out of them.

Given the current state of the economy, it's not unusual to have thoughts of bringing your horse home and doing it all yourself- especially when you recieve that monthly board bill. If you already have your horses at home, you might be considering adding a stall onto your barn, and/or (if you actually have one!) filling that empty stall with a boarder to help offset the cost of your own animals. Those of you who have horses in this second category already are aware that horsekeeping anywhere is an expensive proposition- what you generally fail to consider is that it is NOT likely to work out the way you think it should. 2+2 doesn't always equal 4 when talking about horses. This is due to a phenom. that I like to call Grocery Math.

What the heck is that, you ask??? Well, unless you have ALWAYS lived alone, you know that as soon as you add just ONE extra person into your household (imagine that there is now TWO people), your grocery budget does NOT do the logical thing and simply double. It increases by something close to 1.5x as much. It's not like the new person eats emore than you do plus enough for another half a person.. it's just the way grocery math goes. The same thing applies for horses. GENERALLY speaking however, this is mostly noticed for ever FIVE horses. Going from 5 horses to 6 is a HUGE jump.. but not from 6 to 7. Getting up around 10 and things start really going downhill....... To help me explain, let me explore the costs of keeping just ONE horse for a month-

Say you've got the average riding horse in light to moderate work. They are fairly low maintenance- no special supplements or unique concentrates in their diet...

For ONE horse:

Grain/month: $40-$60 based upon average (moderate level product) grain price and ration of 6-8lbs/day
Hay/ month: $52.50 based upon cost of $3.50/bale and average consumption of .5 bale/day
Bedding/month: $75 This is a highly variable number depending on what you use, and regional costs. A conservative estimate.

That is your BARE BONES BASICS, and already we are up to $188.

Now, add in things like:
Electric
Water (if you are on municipal water)
Manure removal/waste management- this varies EXTENSIVELY, but like electric and water.. it's horse number dependant, and then:

Barn Expense (mortgage/rent) {if you don't have a mortgage, count yourself lucky} We'll take OUR expense as an example of $100/stall.

So.. D/K Show Horse's COST for keeping ONE horse on board is $288/month. We charge $300/month. That means if I kept my time for taking care of each horse down to 1 hour apiece (feeding, watering, cleaning, turning in, turning out, unblanketing, blanketing, etc..) not only would I be FLYING.. I'd be making about $0.40 an hour.. or day.. or $12/month. Supposedly horses are like children.. but I don't know of ANY sort of babysitter or daycare that does 24/7 care and does it for $12/MONTH.

Other expenses to be considered- MAINTENANCE- broken boards, fence, insulators, snaps, buckets, doors, feeders... horses are DESTRUCTIVE when kept "confined".

So.. if you plan on home horsekeeping, you need to think hard about what your time is worth. It's early mornings... even when it's sub-zero and your bed is toasty warm.. it's managing flies, mud, and manure. It's forgoeing any sort of vacation, unless you can find a babysitter you trust to take on the daunting task of keeping an eye on your four-legged mischief machine. And when you've not been able to ride because you're chopping ice out of buckets, or mowing acres of pasture, or spreading manure, or just plain trying to keep up on repairs, it's helpfull to believe it's worth saving that $10 spot. At least, when you're done with chores you can run into your local Starbucks and grap a coffee. Don't bring a friend though.

Perhaps you're thinking perhaps of just adding a boarder into the mix in your already established barn. You already KNOW that boarding isn't a money making proposition. You enjoy being able to look out your kitchen window at your pride and joy. You don't ride as much as you used to- barn chores have eaten up a lot of that time, but there's a lot of satisfaction still to be gained by listening to your babies contendedly munching their hay late at night. You know each snuff and wuffle your horse makes and why he makes them. You can thread your way through your barn by the light of one barely working flashlight- you've done it multiple times. You've got your set-up organized and it runs like a well-oiled machine; well, at least as well as anything involving horses can, anyway. If you fall into this category, consider this....

You are letting someone else into your personal space. Someone else who may or may not have the same sort of priorities as you.. someone else who may not do things EXACTLY the same way as you... someone else that comes complete with certain expectations of what they want to get for the money they are giving you.

Think long and hard whether or not that's worth ALMOST the cost of ONE bag of grain.

And that's just if you're adding ONE horse to a small.. say, 3 horse, operation. Too many more, and that's where grocery math comes in to play. Suddenly you have gone from buying grain by the bag, to by the ton.. and you need to build adequate storage space for that. You're not getting hay by the pickup truck, but by the wagon and need someplace to store that too.. Same for bedding. And all that increased storage area needs maintenance.. and so do the increased occupied stalls. More than 10 horses, and you'll seriously want to consider hiring help. Think how many horses you need to board to afford to hire someone. At least 10 more to pay for the help, and that means hiring a second person.......

Social Time

2008-07-09T21:19:00.002-05:00

In the vein of "helpful hints", I think it's time to address the most common pit-fall that amateurs often unwittingly find themselves falling into- I'm talking about when social time overtakes riding time. You've seen those riders sitting on the rail chit-chatting, (you may have even been one of them) ride a lap or two, then stop and talk for awhile again. That's all well and good, but you're not doing a single favor to yourself or your horse.
Wait!, you say. I pay a lot of money to go to horse shows. They are my "getaway". This is what I work for. I would nod and agree. You are right- you do. You certainly deserve the time to catch up with old friends. However, consider this- 1) You are simply teaching your horse that when they see a group of people they get to stop. 2) You've spent a LOT of money to get to that show to COMPETE. {if it's a vacation you want- there are a lot of differant places you could go that are cheaper and less labor intensive} If you aren't there 100% for your horse when you are riding, your horse won't be there 100% for you. When you sit and chat you lose focus on your horse and what you want to accomplish. Your horse also gets bored and loses focus on you.
If you're not telling your horse what to do, then he's going to start coming up with things and you may or may not like what he comes up with! Broken down, the time you spend on your horse's back is only a small percentage of the time you spend at a horse show. Socialize some time other than schooling time. Give your horse the respect of a little focus, and he will reward you with his.

What I Shoulda Said...

2008-06-24T21:28:00.002-05:00

I hate those moments. You know the ones- where you are presented an opportunity to display your sparkling wit, your razor-sharp tongue, and in a matter of seconds put someone in "their place"... That twirling turn of phrase that avenges all wrongs, both real and imagined, and places you firmly higher-up on the intellectual ladder... Yes, of course, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
The reason I hate those moments? It's simple. It is because ever single time those moments present themeselves you go completely blank. It's not until after the fact that you are suddenly hit with "what you should have said".
I recently had one of those times. I was presented with an opportunity in which to verbally "put the smack down".. and instead, I did the complete opposite. I may as well have curled up on the ground and showed my belly. Ahh... some small consolation... I didn't actually make a verbal a$$ of myself either.
It wasn't until later, while in the bathroom (a freudian connection perhaps?) that what I should have said came to me. Instead of staring blankly and mumbling something about not blogging much recently, I should have smiled sweetly, and said...

"Hey, it's not really "all about YOU", but if the shoe fits..."

Dancing With The Stars

2008-05-16T20:39:00.003-05:00

To stick with the early show season helpful-hints trend- lets talk about something most people barely give a thought to-- leading.

The FOUNDATION of respect from your horse is built on the end of the lead rope. To understand just what proper leading is like, or should be, one must understand dancing, or at the very least, have watch the movie Dirty Dancing. Remember that scene- my space / your space ? Well, that is the basic gist.

Your horse has a "bubble" of personal space. This "bubble" is something you should respect. You, the handler, also has a bubble, and this personal space is something your horse needs to respect. Your horse should NEVER invade your personal space without invitation, and you should avoid invading your horse's bubble without good reason. If your horse enters your bubble, you, as head of your "herd" need to remind him to STAY OUT, and you must do so with prejudice.

Your horse, on the other hand, must be taught that should you invade his space for any reason, then in order for him to regain his space he must move away- thereby maintaining his bubble and yours.

Once your horse understands that concept, leading becomes more like dancing. (See, you should have had faith that I'd get back to dancing!) You step left- your horse steps left. You step right, your horse steps right. It's basic safety, it's the basis of respect undersaddle, and it'll win you showmanship points if that's your goal. You "lead", your horse will follow- like the good dance partner that he is.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2008-04-10T21:52:00.005-05:00

Since show season is upon us, I thought it might be nice to impart some hints and tips to make sure everyone gets the most out of their show year.

It's a given that horses, especially at the start of the season, get to a show, and seem to forget about 50% of what they learned over the winter. They're "high". They're excited to be "out & about" and are overwhelmed with the need to see and hear everything, and "talk" to everyone.

Nothing can be more frustrating than to take your ordinarily "tame" horse to a show and have them become a screaming, prancing, ninny that stomps on your feet, breaks your equipment, knocks into you and generally embarrases you at every turn. That'll take the fun out of horse showing, lickity-split.

What can you do? A horse is a horse, of course, of course- right? Well, yes, and no. There IS plenty you can do to help insure that your horse is a well behaved, enjoyable, horse show companion. No, it does not involve sticks, carrots, or talking with a "down-under" accent. It does involve a lot of common sense and firm consistency.

In other words... dealing with horses (like raising young children) is the last of the benign dictatorships. It really is- BECAUSE I SAID SO, and ITS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. What this means- you ask nicely, but accept nothing but compliance. You make the right things easy, and the wrong things hard (or uncomfortable) for your horse. You're setting them up for success, and conditioning them to behave under all circumstances.

In the majority, problems experienced with horses showing stem from a certain degree of barn-sourness. Speeding up- the second direction, going toward the gate (flat and jumping.. ) Dropping inside shoulder going the second direction, prancing when exiting the arena. Anyway.. the list can go on.. What to do?

When Schooling: 1) School downward transitions going TOWARD home, and upwards going AWAY. 2) Dismount in an area well away from the gate. Preferably a "scarey" area. Make that area a "good" spot. After all, what's NOT good about getting done working?

Change the Location of "Happy-Land". Your horse gets fed, watered, and gets to rest in their stall. Why wouldn't they want to get back there ASAP? Really, horses aren't the dumb animals we accuse them of being. So.. since you can't feed your horse in the middle of the arena (okay, okay.. at home, maybe you can), and you need to take your horse out of their stall to work (yuck!) them, what CAN you do? Make "home" a little bit less appealing by not providing them with instant gratification when they return to it. I.E.- don't immediately remove their saddle. Leave them a bit uncomfortable for 30 minutes or so. Tie them up. Again, it's about them not being made super comfortable the moment they get back to their stall. Tie them in their stall- remove a little bit of their liberty. (remember, if you're tying for any length of time, tie where they can reach their water) BONUS- this teaches your horse patience. Think about it. What horses are the most patient and well behaved? Roping horses. Ranch horses. Horses that have to spend large chunks of their day standing tied. It's not mean. It's simply becomes a way of life. Doing these things when you return your horse to their stall isn't about making their stall a miserable space, it's about changing the association with returning to their stall and good things happening. Good things still happen there, just not immediately.

Take your time returning. When you DO finish up, and are returning your horse to their stall (paddock, or whatever) dismount and lead them (firstly, this never allows them to think that they can take (carry) you back to the barn) very slowly. This is very, very simple. It re-enforces the "DO NOT rush back to the barn" mentality that the other steps help instill. It also helps to break the link in your horse's mind with ending work and returning to "happy-land".

These things take virtually no time or effort on your part- only awareness. And they work. How can you beat that?

Oohhmmmmm,

2008-03-30T19:29:00.002-05:00

Everyone has their own method to unwind, and de-stress. Some party. Others meditate. Some drool mindlessly in front of the television. It's all about what works for you. Everyone is different, so they might use a different method. It's the same for horses.

Not once, but twice this week, one of us, or someone associated with us was asked, "What method do you use?" in regards to training. Apparently the answer, "Whatever works", was not the response they were looking for. I'm guessing the correct listing of answers would be something like A) Clinton Anderson, B) John Lyons, C) Pat Parelli, with D) None (or all) of the Above being a bona-fied WRONG answer.

So.. anyway. Julie got herself a pony. This Pony is Programmed Pat Parelli style. She got quite the treat, receiving a full demo on what this pony knows, and what to do with the pony in certain situations. Did you know, that according to the Parelli Program, if/when your horse or pony gets stressed and upset, you should take your lead, (or trusty carrot stick) and swing it over and around your horse/pony's head. This supposedly simulates the mother's tail; resurrecting feelings of security, and happiness from when your horse/pony was just a little tyke.

What the guys in the barn would like to know is: Having been breast-fed children, if they get stressed now, would you rub your ta-tas in their face to settle them down?

Now, really...

2008-03-10T17:37:00.003-05:00

Generally speaking, I'm a pretty easy-going person. There are a few sure fire ways to piss me off however.
The best (or worst!) way, is to tell me you're going to do something at a specific time to help me, and then not bother to show up. Then, in a flurry of "remorse", go about wasting your time in "helpful" endeavors, accomplished in a half-assed manner, making more work, instead of actually assisting.
The next best (or slightly less worse) is unfailingly making your appearance the moment the work is over. "What? You're done??" And then.... mention that you actually stood back and watched us work before making your appearance.
That's just lazy and stupid.
Give me a break. Be one or the other. I have little respect for a lazy person, but I've got even less for someone who's lazy and then tries to feed me a complex line of bullshit, trying to convince me that they aren't lazy. Hat's off though, if you're smart enough to feed me a line that's truly creative.
Stupid people I usually pity. You can't fix it, after all. If you insist on being dumb, you better work like a dog. A stupid person that works their ass off is actually sort of endearing.
Someone that's lazy AND stupid- now that's just a waste of flesh and oxygen.

I Believe in Energy Conservation.

2008-03-05T21:39:00.002-05:00

True..True...

2008-03-03T22:58:00.001-05:00

Like Owner, Like Horse?

2008-02-26T22:11:00.003-05:00

Did you notice that some people just own a certain type of horse? Or perhaps it's that they create a certain type of horse. No matter the breeding, type, or sex of each successive horse, each one becomes a bizzarro caricature of the one preceding it.

Since it's true that everytime you handle your horse, you are teaching them something, even if it's wrong, then it's also true that you are molding their "persona". For example, I have one horse in the barn that is terribly kind and talented. This horse is also sometimes so incredibly "blonde" that it's startling. Just like their owner.

In another case, I could call one horse's owner and tell them the exact sort of day they had, based upon the day their horse had. They had a freakishly cosmic connection. That particular case was a little outside of the average, but still shows my point.

Think about the horses that you know, and their owners. The similarities are surreal, aren't they? Some of the parallels are incredible.

So.... what does your horse reflect about you?

"Shoot low boys! They're ridin' Shetland ponies..."

2008-02-24T21:26:00.002-05:00

Ha! Nope, that's got absolutely nothing to do with anything going on here, but I do love that quote.

So what is going on here? Damned if I know, 'cept that recent conversations have centered around the need to schedule one's time. Most importantly, scheduling time to one's self. The busier you are, the more important this is. If you do not set time aside to do only what you want to, then you are quite liable to suffer some sort of chronic meltdown. It should be no great mystery as to why people "go postal". The mystery should be why more people don't.

The last thing a person will do is set time aside for themselves. They'll bend over backwards, and inside-out for just about anyone else, but it's deemed wrong somehow to make time for numero uno, so people don't. That is, until they figure it out. If you don't figure it out, you burn-out. It's pretty simple.

That's way true in this line of work. Can't really take a day off. Horses, lacking opposable thumbs, have a hard time feeding themselves. (Okay, they CAN feed themselves, it's measuring out the rations that's so tough.. that, and operating the water hose. That can be pretty tricky.) Can't go on vacation. Vacation in this line of work costs double. #1, you're not working so you aren't getting paid. #2, even though you're not working or getting paid, you have to pay someone to stay home and do the work you could/should be doing. So, by the time you've budgeted all that in, you've got enough left in your vacation budget to maybe drive down to your local gas station, buy some coconut scented suntan lotion to rub on, and then huddle close to the hotdog heat lamps.
So instead you set aside a few hours here, maybe an evening there. I don't care what you do for a living. It's the only way to stay sane. I mean, you DON'T have to look after your mental well-being, by taking time for yourself. You might have the sort of complexion that looks really good in stark white, backgrounded with rubber, under flourescent lighting. If you don't, schedule a break time. Guard it ferociously.

I've got my time. You try to infringe upon that, and I have a tendency to grow fangs and claws. To let you know, it's been a loooonnngg time since I've had a rabies shot.

Betwixt Between

2008-02-10T22:44:00.000-05:00

The idea was to go to the Casino, get ourselves a spa treatment, and then a "Reserved" table at the dance club because that's what rich Cougars would do.
Hmmm....
Speak for yourself. I'm no Cougar. Yet.
However, I'm not a Kitten any longer either. You know- a Kitten. A 20-something, sexy mink. The type that loves to pounce on their "play-toy" of a significant other. If it looks like "fun", moves like fun, and smells like fun.. then POUNCE. Yeah, baby. Play Time.
I'm not a Cougar either, though. Supposedly, at some point in a woman's 40's a woman starts to hit their true sexual peak. Men go from plaything, to being taken as nourishment. (I'll take my man-thing rare, with a pinch of garlic). It's no longer Pounce and Play. It becomes Pounce and Prey.
As either a Kitten or a Cougar, sex is high on the list of importance. I am smack betwixt the two however. As a 30-something I've got loads on my plate. My peers are chasing children, running errands,-being Pee-Wee Soccer Mom's. I've got a carreer to to grow- one that keeps me incredibly busy. I'm tired at the end of the day, and I know all my peers are too. Running one hundred miles per hour in a thousand differant directions- the last thing we want is one more thing that we have to focus on. If something is going to take our attention for more than 8 seconds, it becomes just another chore. Thirty-somethings, "Multi-tasking", be thy name.
So... If we are neither Kitten or Cougar, what are we? Um.."Cats "..with something better to do?

If You're Gonna Play, You're Gonna Pay

2008-02-06T20:56:00.000-05:00

Horses are expensive.
No matter what you do with them, from the occasional trail ride to showing at the utmost levels, they cost and cost and cost. Granted, exactly what you do directly influences how much they cost you, but no matter what, you will pay. That's the price for this "sickness" we have.

Let's just deal with showing horses for a moment. If you want to run with the "Big Boys", you can't scimp on the details. That doesn't mean that you need to spend a fortune on a truck, or a trailer. Pulling into a show in a sweetheart of a truck with the snazzies living quarters imaginable, is NOT going to get you a better ribbon. The judges don't check the parking lots. But if you want to be a loser in posh comfort, then that's your ticket. Now, if you're pretty much independantly wealthy, you can be a winner in comfort. We should all be so lucky. The point is, to play, you have to pay, and there are some things you can't get around. The tack you use- it's got to fit your horse, and it's got to fit you. Your horse has to be trained to the level where they can perform well enough to fullfill your showing needs. Your horse has to be the raw material to be trained to that level. All of this costs. It can cost a lot.

The good news is, it doesn't always have to cost money. For a lot of things, such as initial training, and maintaining training and health, sweat equity can take alot of the burden off of the 'ol pocket book. Work, old-fashioned hard work, can literally be the differance between winning and losing when you weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth, or tripping over a Mega-Millions lottery win.

That is NOT to say that you have to be rich to win. That's not the case. You rarely see a rich loser, true. However, you can be NOT rich and still win. You pay the differance of what you can't pay in money with hard work. Consider it like this: winning has "x" value. You can pay for "x" with money (x=money), or any combination of MONEY + SWEAT (x=money + sweat, where "sweat"=time and effort). The less money you put into it, the more sweat you need. It's a simple formula, really.

There's a neat added bonus for adding in sweat to your "Win Formula". The more time and effort you put into it, the more you and your horse form a partnership that transcends any of the other partnerships in that pen. That's how the youth kid that spends every available second with their horse can beat the pants off that top pro. That kid knows their horse. They know every blink, every ear twitch, every breath, and respond accordingly.

So you can put in the money, or if you don't have money you can put in the time and effort. If you don't have time, then you need to put in the money. One way or the other though, if you want to play, you're going to pay.
It can't be done any other way.

Signs Of Spring

2008-02-04T23:00:00.000-05:00

So.. famed prognosticator Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow and we're supposed to have 6 more weeks of winter? I don't believe it. Phil is just a sell-out groundhog, who's given it up for posh digs and 15 minutes of fame a year.
No matter what way you look at, when you live in Oswego County, you're guaranteed 6 more weeks of winter. If you only get 6 weeks, you're doing great. Still, I know spring is coming and coming fast.
How do I know, you ask?
It's the mares.
Horny little bitches. EVERY SINGLE ONE is in heat. It's not full blown heat. Oh, no. It's that, "Yes, touch me!" "No, not there" "Yes, there" "No don't touch" "Touch" "Don't Touch" sort of heat. Bunch of teases. My poor geldings. They haven't got a clue.
I went out to bring horses in. Timmie, as usual is in the farthest corner of his paddock. In the adjoining paddock, Sabre was looking at him, squealing. I can only assume she was squealing because she didn't like Timmie looking back at her. You see, one thing Timmie has learned is that you never can tell when the fence is fully functional. It could reach out and bite you at any moment. No sense tempting fate. He kept his nose to himself. Didn't stop Sabre from squealing at him for looking at her wrong, though.
And then there was Georgia and Lex. Georgia is normally the "Super Diva". A horse looks at her wrong, and they may just get a big ol' "Pow, right in the kisser". As a general rule, Georgia doesn't like any other horses. Specifically, Georgia doesn't like Lex. Lex, of course, loves everyone. Two legs, or four- he is the soul of affection. (Think large Labrador Retriever.. less the retriever part)
Under average conditions, so long as each horse has an adequate amount of hay in front of them, they leave their neighbors alone. Not today. Georgia is in heat. "Oooo la la, I think you're incredibly sexy" sort of heat. She kept running up to the shared fenceline, and rubbing her head and neck all over Lex's head and neck.
Poor Lex. He's got this hot mama rubbing herself all over him. What was he to do?
He tried to mount her neck.
Exactly what he was hoping to accomplish by mounting her neck, I do not know. I don't think he knew either. I think he'd just heard a rumor that that was the thing to do when you had a girl throwing themselves at you. The major problem, (outside of the obvious ones of gelding, and bodily orientation) was that there was a fence between them. So, yes, he got hung up. Thank heavens he got his front legs over the wooden part.
I say thank heavens, but I think he was embarrased. He saw me, and tried to backpedal so fast, he nearly sat down. That could have been painful for him. Lex got himself off the fence without injury, but Georgia was pissed. Lex was mortified he'd gotten caught trying to be sexy, and Georgia was mad they were interrupted. That little tramp!
Yep. There's still plenty of snow on the ground, but spring is in the air. The birds and the bees have already started migrating north. Oh. Boy.

More Products from the R.F.

2008-02-02T22:22:00.000-05:00

Funny.. since I blogged about the Retard Factory, everytime I turn around one of the horses is doing something else "blog worthy", under that heading.
For example, ya'll already know about our figure skating Olympian in the making, "Lex". Well, Lex is also a Serial Kisser. If he figures you're in reach, watch out, he's going to get you. He'll punch his nose at you in his exuberance of affection- just hope he doesn't get you anywhere fragile. Despite the fact that his nose is softly fuzzy; his kisses are anything but gentle. He means only the best of course- but all I can think of is "George" from Of Mice and Men. (For referance, Alicia, it IS okay to give your horse kisses... I think the grouchy old man is the only one that doesn't... but make sure they don't try to kiss you back)
Then we have Dash. Ya'll haven't been introduced to Dash yet. In general he's a pretty staid individual. He's 9 years old and acts 30. Very mature, usually. He's also a closet soap eater. Yep. I said, SOAP eater. We use liquid soap as a chewing deterant. Dash is also a cribber, and as I recently found out, he's got a serious taste for soap. I sprayed the soap on, he licked it off. I didn't really watch too close, but he was probably farting bubbles later.
Romeo likes to play halter tag until his "competition" gets in a lucky tug, causing the noseband to tighten enough that he can no longer open his mouth.
Oliver grabs the nearest blanket tail flap, or tail bag, and follows along like the next little elephant in line. If said object is stationary, then he twirls, flips, tugs, pulls, until he can't go anymore, or the recieving horse kicks at him. It's amazing he's still got the pretty smile that he does.
The Retard Factory is just awash in product.

Who's Got the Controls of this Karma Thing??

2008-01-31T21:15:00.000-05:00

I want to know who's Captain of the Karma Cruise Ship, because they need to be fired. They suck.
Diane had to put Erica down today. Complications of old age, or from Cushings; colic, an intestinal displacement of unknown origin- However you want to put it, it sucks. Erica was the resident "geriatric". She was 28. Now, with her passing, Magic is the oldest resident. That's scary. I've had Magic since she was three years old. I'm afraid of how I'm going to deal with it, "when the time comes". She's 23 this year.
Thank heavens she's currently enjoying excellent health. I hope she continues to for quite some time to come.

Don't Argue

2008-01-30T21:14:00.000-05:00

Possibly the thing that aggravates me the most is when I offer my advice to someone who's asked me for it, and then they argue with what I've said.
Why ask me for help in the first place??
I try not to waste oxygen. That's just me- doing my part, I guess.
You ask me for an answer to a question, a lesson, help on something with your horse- and then argue with what you get, as though you somehow know more about the matter at hand? I'm positive I do not know everything. I'm also sure I know quite a bit. I've been riding since I was 5 and I've known I was going to be doing this since I was 7, and shaped my life accordingly. That's 23 years of focused learning, with a degree to top it off. However, questioning my knowledge, albeit insulting, is fine. I just don't understand what would possess someone to not only ask for me to apply my knowledge, but to PAY for me to apply it, and then argue with me.
Wouldn't it be cheaper to just argue with me in the first place, or ,better for me, to just pay me and then have me walk away so you can do your thing?
No one knows everything. A little active discourse, a little bit of questioning, that is fine. That is how we learn. That is how we develope. I try to keep an open mind. When someone questions me, it causes me to 1) re-evaluate the knowledge that I have for accuracy 2) reconsider how I am communicating that knowledge, to be sure that it is clear, and fully understood.
What I can't understand is why somepeople have to argue with me over everything. Especially when I start pushing them to thier comfort limit. Amazing, the arguing that occurs as your approach the "comfort horizon".
I wish those people would either not bother to ask me for help, or pay me to help them, then inform me that they've no intention of listening anyway, so that I can go about doing something else. I'm a busy person. Just pay me for my "help", and I'll go do something else, and stay the hell out of your way. If you absolutely must have someone to argue with, I guess I could find you a mirror or something.

The Retard Factory

2008-01-27T23:18:00.000-05:00

There's something in the water here. That's the only possible explanation.
Okay. I know it's not p.c. to say "retard", but as I'm fond of saying- "if the shoe fits.."

First, you have us people. We just ain't right. Mostly we've all got "Foot in Mouth Disease", but that's a subject for another blog. Still, there are plenty of Here's Your Sign, moments. Such as the other day- I was working with someone on showmanship, and the guys were about to bring the dually into the arena to unload grain. Now, there are two overhead doors in the arena, and 3 man-sized doors. Of the garage doors, one of them has 4 foot of snow up against it. I told this someone to watch out, since the truck was going to be coming in. What did they ask me? "Which way are they coming in?" Oh. Dear.

There was another time- the horses were being fed, and all the horses were eating except one. Someone picked up the feed bucket of grain, with that horse's name on it, and the horse is doing everything but jumping up and down, saying, "Me!" "Me!" They asked me- "Is this this horse's grain?" Hmmmmm..........

Still, the people aren't even close to the horses. I think it's because the horses drink more water.
First, we have Ace, the fire breathing dragon. He thinks he's as tough as they come, but he can get lost in a corner. He simply can NOT understand why the gate isn't in the corner of the paddock closest to the barn. One of these days, a gate WILL appear there, and someone will take him out through that corner. Why use the gate you came in through? That's the wrong way!
Then, of course, comes Timmie Tard.. enough said I think. However, if you don't know him- he tries to walk through solid objects on a regular basis. He also has patience to perform constantly repetitive actions until such a time as he gets his way.

Most of all, there is Lex, who is set to make equine figure skating an Olympic event. He's recently found that on the way out to the paddock, he can set his front feet, and slide them along by continuing to walk with his hind feet. This works wonderfully until the front feet start to splay, of course. Practice will make perfect, I'm sure. In our neck of the snowy world, maybe this will become a new event. Still, our figure-skating quadruped does not stop there. He was the first (and ONLY!) to get cast in the deep fresh-powder snow. Yep. Turn him out, and he drops to roll like a rock, and then needs rescuing. Alas, if he had not rolled atop the buried water-trough, he may have been okay. Instead he lay across it, much like one of those "Fat Lady on a Sofa" paintings.

Each one of the "kids" is perfectly capable of pulling a truly retard maneuver at any time, but these three really exemplify why I'm considering getting a 2-horse trailer in a fine shade of BLUE.

8 Seconds

2008-01-22T22:02:00.000-05:00

Like many other things in life, it would be far less traumatic (taxing) if it really did only take 8 seconds to make a qualified ride. Of course, they go until you prove you're finished. In this particular case, it's a little hard to fake it. You bite the dirt or you don't. Thank heavens the "dirt" in the case is resilient, and quite comfortable, provided that you don't take the time to consider what else may have been sprawled across the air mats other than your winded body.

So- let me give you a little "back story". The 19th was the ESQHA banquet. Carrie recieved the high point award for both Sr. Western Pleasure, and Amateur Western Pleasure. (Congrats!!) It's been a very long time (think 29th birthday) since I've gone for an evening out. To relax, and knowing that things stood the chance of getting a little rowdy, I may have had a Cosmo or two. The intent was to have a few drinks, eat dinner, chill for awhile, and then while out and about maybe have another few. How was I to know that dinner was going to SUCK? The salad- I must say, looked suspiciously like the leaves from the centerpiece. Apparently it was strictly baby spinach leaves. Add some oil and vinegar (varying amounts) and one or two slices of strawberries, and some pine nuts and voila'- you've got an inedible masterpiece. It was pretty, just not at all tasty. People with nut allergies.... well.... uh..... gee..... never gave that a thought....

Of course, given my luck, I made a comment about the salad during JUST THAT MOMENT when there is a lull in conversation. You know the one- when it's otherwise silent- except for your voice, which is invariably saying the wrong thing. Ahh well, the best tasting part of the whole meal (other than the potatoes) was my foot.

And so, later on, we end up at Daisy Dukes. Given my outfit, I thought this rather,... hmmm.... ironic. Other than short shorts (yeah yeah,.. hence the name, right?) the "bar wear" is closer to my daily uniform than what I actually had on. I mean, someone actually asked me if I was a lawyer. That had to be the funniest thing I'd heard all evening. So, I found something deeply amusing in riding a mechanical bull while dressed in a pinstripe suit, with patent leather Mary Janes with 4" stillettos. Ahhhhh..... the irony.... sweet irony.. so much better than that chocolate cake (with... ick! nuts) from the banquet. And for my second ride, they were playing "Redneck Woman"; does it get any better??

A few things considering my "qualified ride"- 1) patent leather against plastic is like applying a suction cup- so in the future, all mechanical bullriders should wear patent leather . 2) For those who've seen the whole series of pictures- note: my heels never really come up. (and NO that's not an optical illusion) 3) at the start of the evening, a BULL is not what I expected to fall off of. Wearing those shoes- the least I expected was a nose bleed, if not a busted ankle. I'm damn proud of myself, even if I do say so. 4) I'm bruised all to hell. Apparently I AM too old to do something. That sucks. No more mechanical bull for me.

"If The Shoe Fits..."

2008-01-17T22:13:00.000-05:00

Just lately (oh.. say about the last month or so) I've been receiving a lot of compliments on my series of blogs here. They go something like this- "I laughed so hard! What a great way to vent. Um..was that one {insert subject here} about.. uh, me?"

My response? Invariable it's become, "Weeeelllll, not exactly, but, hey! If the shoe fits..."

If you've read any of this, you realize that I try not to mention any names if the subject matter can be considered negative in some light or other. Sure, most everything I blog about was inspired by an actual event- and usually multiples of that event. Sometimes it was inspired by something I read, and nothing that had actually occurred.

This is the way I see it- there are three possibilities here. 1) It's actually about you, and you know it. 2) It's not about you at all, but you're so egocentric that you think it is- because, lets face it, it's all about you. 3) For some reason you've got a guilty conscience, so it could be about you.

Since the first is fairly rare, it's the second two choices I find so humorous.

To better illuminate my point, let us revisit Danielle's, oh so controversial, blog concerning "the evil empire". This blog's main premise was referring to the Quarter Horse show industry as a whole. Because of AQHA's gargantuan size, it's extremely pervasive, much as is "the evil empire" of Star Wars fame. Due to it's megalithic proportions it exerts it's own sort of gravity (like a black hole.. or hello... Death Star) and has its own light side and its own dark side. (like a planet. 'Luke....I am your father....')

There's nothing quite so funny as a pop-culture reference getting so many peoples' knickers in knots.

So, why did people just assume that blog was directed specifically at them? Choice #2 or #3? Take your pick. You've got a 50% chance at being right. That's the same odds as predicting the weather. My guess? I think that it's going to snow or be sunny. Of course those same people, the description above, and the evil empire DO have striking similarities. I'd say a size 7 foot is a size seven foot.

So, if they are actually analogous (Hey, if the shoe fits...) to Darth Vadar and the Evil Empire, then what does that make me? I sure as hell don't have the zen-like qualities of the great jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi. So that leaves... okay, I may be pretty funny looking sometimes, but I am certainly NOT a short green dude with big ears and a snappy attitude. I may be a lot of things but I am NOT..... YODA.

If I Ran the World...part 1

2008-01-16T22:55:00.000-05:00

If I ran the world, (and I may someday.. just watch..) then experts would be allowed to do what they do, in what they've chosen to do without unsolicited advice from the unqualified. For instance, I got my hair colored today. For those who know me well, they know that I'm not exactly the most fashion conscious individual. What's "hot" in the personal appearance department somehow slips right past me. I don't think that's always been the case, but I'll admit, I'm waaaaayy out of practice.
So anyway, I got my hair cut and colored. Julie (who is an absolute magician with color btw) asks me what I want her to do. Now, I realize that we're talking about my head here, and I've got to live with whatever is done. I just look at her, blinking. I imagine I must look like some sort of retarded owl. You're asking me?? If I'm not mistaken, I believe the goal is to leave here looking, well.. better.. than when I came in. My answer was a shrug, and "do what you do." She's the expert.
I ask her what she wants to do with her horse in the general sense, or when it's going to cost a fair penny, but when it comes to his well being, I just tell her. After all, I'm the expert. She leaves me to do what it is that I do best.
If I ran the world, that's the way it'd run. Give the expert a job assignment, and get the hell outta the way. Hmmmm..... not such a bad thing really.. Maybe I should start working on my master plan.

My new love...

2008-01-14T20:53:00.000-05:00

Oh me, oh my. So much I thought to blog on.. but somehow its completely slipped my mind in the face of ... CBS's MONDAY NIGHT TV!!!

Dear heavens, how did I miss this? Okay... okay... I know how. I'm just not much of a TV watcher. But this is great stuff. I feel so deprived. Sure, the writer's strike is on, but that only gives me an opportunity to catch up on what I've missed. Every show is incredible- How I Met Your Mother- Doogie Howser in a suit, and cute guys.. so perfect. Two and a Half Men- can't be anything more classic. It's soo inappropriate- how can you not enjoy it? Rules of Engagement- David Spade. I need say no more.

HIMYM is followed by the quirky-est, quarky-est show on TV. It zings. It zaps. It had me rolling on the floor laughing- literally. To be fair, I'm a closet dork. Okay.. maybe I'm just a dork, and there's nothing hidden about it. The Big Bang Theory brings High School back- up close and personal like. That is NOT to say that I identify with the hot neighbor girl. I wish.
Those were my friends! I could have lived in that apartment! Okay. I had other friends- (No, Julie, you were NOT a dork) but by the numbers, my friends were, in the majority, geeks. The dialog is full of polysyllabic words- exactly the type to use if some boring, quasi-literate chimpanzee tries to pick you up while you're at the bar. I almost remember what that's like.

Every Monday I expect I'll be taking a trip down memory lane. My weeks will never be the same.

Remembering.....

2008-01-09T23:35:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it hurts to remember, but sometimes pain is good for the soul.
For those of you who never had the privilege of knowing "Scy" and "Badger", please visit the links below, so that new people may know what great individuals these two were.
For those of you who did have the fortune.... never forget them. They were truely amazing animals, who's greatness can only live on in those of us who knew them.

http://d2093745.u50.websitesource.net/subpage.html

http://d2093745.u50.websitesource.net/subpage1.html

New Years Wishes

2008-01-08T22:34:00.000-05:00

Like many people I know, I'm not even going to bother with New Year's Resolutions. What's the point? Like rules, it's they're pretty much made to be broken. Instead, this year, I'm going with New Year's Wishes.
So, without further adieu:

#1) Better than 3rd place at the World Show. No worse than that, obviously. :) Third is fine. It's wonderful, in fact, when compared to 8th, but something other than Yellow would be nice. We're going on 6 years of 3rd place ribbons. It does get old. Still, I'd rather not exchange them for anything other than Blue or Red.

#2) An end to inter-barn competition. I mean, c'mon- you're on the same team! Who cares if someone's horse is taller, or someone isn't out to the barn as much as you are, or your horse is better (or worse, or whatever!) than someone elses. Go ahead, be jealous, or smug, or whatever you want to be, but I don't want to hear about it. Don't ask me for constant affirmation that you/your horse is better in order to pad your ego. The only real competition there is out there is YOURSELF. It's not even your "non team-mates" that you face in the show pen. It's about how you progress as a horseman. It's about being better than the day before. The rest is stupidity.

#3) Chocolate will become bona-fide health food. ... You know, that's not entirely far-fetched. They've found that the less refined the cholate is (Dark Chocolate, here I come!) the better it is for your heart.

#4) Get more sleep. 2007 went by so fast. Mostly due to the fact, I believe, that every day ran straight into the next in a sleep deprived blur. Generally I couldn't remember if I'd done something that morning, or the day before, or the week before.

Ahhhh..... I hold a hope that these will work out better than resolutions. I won't hold my breath too long. Best Wishes!

Merry Christmas

2007-12-25T18:14:00.000-05:00

Okay, okay. I guess I was just a wee bit harsh on my parents in my previous blog.

Turns out we had an 11th hour rescue from the Indian stranger (as in from India..or somewhere nearby). He called and asked for money.... his luggage had been lost or somesuch silliness as that. Hmm.... good thing I had already planted the seed about the similarity of this and some of the common email scams going around. Almost too bad in a way though. I had all the meals for the next week planned out already. For breakfast, lunch and dinner we were having BEEF!

My father, in his usual fashion pulled through too. I'm getting a laptop. Or at least that's what's been expressly implied that I'm to put the gift card toward. Seems an expensive way to go about gifting himself with the sole use of his own computer.. but hey.. it works for me.

The whole problem I think, is that I'm getting older. Suddenly (okay... not so sudden.. ) my parents don't live up on pedestals, instead, I, *gasp*, see them as human beings, complete with all the foibles that entails. Typical of any offspring, I like to bring a big ol' shiny spotlight to bear on each and every one their peccadillos. This isn't because I'm perfect. By no means am I even close. I'm just one of those people that takes an inordinate amount of glee in pointing out when anyone (even myself) performs some truly dumbass move. And my mother wonders why I don't want kids... doesn't she know that you only reproduce yourself, only worse!!??

That's it... I'm screwed.

2007-12-23T23:53:00.000-05:00

Nobody, and no family is normal, I know that. N-O-R-M-A-L. Normal. It's a myth- an unattainable standard. I can accept that. Dysfunctional is the status du jour. My family, however, raises the bar for dysfunctionality.

I remember shortly after I met Danielle. She asked me if I was related to Zach Gilbert. Which, of course, I am.
"I thought maybe," she said. "We had to do this family tree project in French class..."
Say no more.
Zach is my uncle. He's something like 6 or 7 years younger than me. As for my Family Tree. Well, it branches, and it branches cleanly, it just branches at some pretty odd spots.
Still, all this is on the normal side.

There is always my father. Don't get me wrong, I love my father. I wouldn't trade him for any other Dad in the world. There have been times he's just done amazing things for me- like driving down to Elmira from Mexico on a moment's notice, just to sign my World Show entries and then drive back. That's one of those incredible "Dad" moments. Then again.. there are moments like my 16th birthday. He gave me one of those cardboard jewelry boxes; you know the ones I'm talking about- white, with that square of cottony fuzz inside. Under that fuzz was an old battered key. Sure.. I know what you're thinking... a key, on your 16th birthday- he gave you a car! Well, sure. Sort of.
See, that battered key went to an even more battered car. It was the old family car that had been parked in the yard for who knows how long. We were going to fix it up, and I was going to drive it at college. I just don't think that Dad had ever informed the squirrels that had made their home in that Chevy Citation of this plan. Nor do I think he told any of the other varmints that had been transient residents about it either. As for fixing it up- he made it as far as checking the brake lines. When they dissolved in his hands, he gave up. I never did sit behind the steering wheel of that thing. I think it got hauled off for scrap metal. I don't think I even have the key. Nor did I keep the box. The box wasn't wrapped, as I recall, but I think it did have a spiffy bow on the top. You know- one taped on, since it was a re-tread from the Christmas before. He did buy my sister her first car. Guess what- it's cute, purple, and it runs.

Now my Mother wants me to babysit her for Christmas and spend it with some stranger she met on the internet. Granted, I met my (now ex-) husband on the internet, but when I actually went to "meet" him, it was in a public place, with friendly back-up/escort. I mean, just how much trouble can you expect in public at the United States MILITARY Academy???? But no. My mother has invited this stranger, and strange kid into her house. I realize she's a widow, and lonely, and getting older.. but has she lost her marbles???

So here I am- my father is polyurethaning the house, and refuses to put up a Christmas Tree. He ran out of propane (but did get more, this time) and has a girlfriend in most major sections of the country it seems. (Okay.... minor exaggeration), and Christmas gifts this year promise to be.. if not grossly unproportional, at the very least, interesting. My mother is asking me to spend Christmas with her and a total stranger that is quasi-foreign, whom she hasn't got a clue about what's fact or fiction with this guy... and had the nerve to ask if I might pick him up at the airport. Has the world gone mad?!?!

I always wondered how my parents ever survived my childhood. I mean.. when they were my age, they had a 10 year old daughter. I can't even begin to imagine. Now I know it took it's toll. The results were just a little delayed.

If you look at this from a genetic standpoint, as I age, I'm going to go completely whacky. I am totally screwed.
I can spell dysfunctional two ways; D-A-D or M-O-M. How do you spell it?

Join your local United Association of Stall Sifters today!

2007-12-21T22:15:00.000-05:00

No matter how you slice it, work is still a 4-letter word.
Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I must, or I would have gone worse than postal by now. Can you imagine- "Demented woman, smells of manure, harassing downtown citizens with pitchfork"- News at 6. ??
Nope, no 9-5 desk job for me. It goes against my grain. But, while I love my work, it's no walk in the park.. (unless of course you walk the same route in the park, for 12 hours a day, every day of the year.. then, in that case, maybe...) Anyone who thinks it is, I will automatically give you a beginner-apprentice membership in U.A.S.S. and allow you to shadow me for a day or two.
Did you know, I was actually asked what I was doing for Christmas? ... Like, DUH. I'm working.
No, really, I am working. You know something? (Yeah yeah yeah.. I'm WORKING) Taking care of a horse is a 365 day a year thing. Taking care of 12 or 26 doesn't do much but add HOURS (and hours) onto your day. I have not yet worked out the training formula for teaching a horse how to feed, water, turn-out, clean, and exercise/train themselves. Believe me, when I do, I'll have a DVD series, a special patented halter, and pitchfork out faster than you can say, "Pat Parelli".
I was also asked to ride an extra horse today. I looked at my list of horses still to work.. and said, "Uh.. sure, but which one of those 10 are you going to work for me?"
Shock.
A blinking stare.
"Well it's only a few minutes....."
Only a few minutes??? Only a few minutes???? I wanted to scream, "Do you realize it's a physical impossibility for me to work all 10 of those horses? It goes against the space-time continuum. It takes an act of superhuman stamina, organization and time management. And you want to add another one!! Only a few minutes......????"
Excuse me, but is my cape showing?
What did I do, you ask? Well, I rode the extra horse of course. Why? Because it's easier than trying to explain to someone who doesn't understand. The only people who can actually understand what you go through in the course of a day are 1) those who've "been there, done that" or 2) mothers of .. oh... about 7 kids, 6 of which are two sets of triplets.
In order to get through my average day, time is budgeted in such a way, that if nothing goes wrong, then you've gotten 95% of your horses worked (remaining 5% are usually your own) and chores are done and you can go home 10 hours later.
HAH!! Did you spot that? Did you see... the magic words.. "if nothing goes wrong"...... That's like a cosmic joke.
So that's barring- a horse that tore their stall apart, tore their blanket, broke a halter, broke a board, broke a gate, broke a latch, broke a stall, broke fence, anything involving blood, anything involving (god forbid) the vet, one gets cast, one goes lame, throws a shoe, missing leads, missing/misplaced equipment, sudden rain/sleet/hail/snow/thunder storm, visitors (of any type... but we do LOVE visitors..breaks the monotony).
Of course, there's the additional duties that add hours on the day- WATER THE ARENA!, drag the arena, pile manure, pile sawdust, drag paddocks, mow lawn, plow snow, break ice, fill troughs, weed-eat, trim trees, paint trim, paint fences, repair fences, fix drainage, clean up after those who can't clean up after themselves.
By now I've been at the barn from 8:30-9am, to about 6-8pm. I haven't even thought about any of the "normal" things that still have to be done: pay bills, grocery shopping, banking, post office, laundry, vaccuum, dishes, clean house, billing, bookkeeping, answer email.
The ATM deposit feature is my friend, and did you realize that starting at approximately 11pm Super Wal-Mart starts stocking it's grocery section?

Now, we recently left Glenn with the responsibility of all the stalls. It's not an impossible chore for one person, but it is an all day thing. Mostly, thanks to some great boarders, (ours and his) he had help. This let him get done in enough time to take something resembling a break before starting evening chores. Now, the problem occurs when it snows. When we get enough of the white stuff to warrant plowing, that can be an all-day job in and of itself. So, now you've got 1 man with 2 ALL DAY jobs.
Same thing- in March when Glenn goes to Florida, and leaves Kenn and I with the whole barn. Did you know, it always snow's like a mother in March? Usually the day after Glenn leaves. But what's the big deal you ask? There is two of you- one to clean, and one to plow. Problem solved, right? Let me ask you- if one is cleaning, and one is plowing, who the hell is riding our horses?
See, those horses are what pays my grocery bill. Each customer has money that's the same shade of green .. as far as I've ever been able to tell, it all spends the same. But, if those horses aren't getting worked, they ain't getting what they paid for, they go somewhere else, and guess what- I don't eat!!!! I like to eat. I LOVE to eat. It is the only time in the whole day where I actually get to step away, and have "down" time. (and the phone rings.. every time. But that's a subject for another blog).

I'm not a size 2 by the grace of God. Hell no! I work my ass off to fit into these pants! Long live U.A.of S.S.!!

C'est Fin! (almost. Close enough)

2007-12-14T00:15:00.000-05:00

Or is it fine? Ahhh... it's been over..... well.. it's been a very very long time since I've even written in French. Anyway- the stalls are done. Sort of.

They are done. They'll hold horses tomorrow. Walls are up. Doors are hung. We're level, square and plumb.
Okay okay.. maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. But we are NO MORE than 1/4 of a bubble off- anywhere. (That's a good rule of thumb for life, by the way).
True, I do need to finish with the polyurethane. Someday. There is also hooks to put up and buckets to hang- BUT WE ARE DONE.
Hallelujah!
Rejoice, rejoice, rejoice!

(Who says I don't have christmas spirit??)

Learning by Example

2007-12-11T21:07:00.000-05:00

I am totally blessed. Someone, somewhere, smiled upon me. I am getting an intern!! Better yet, I'm getting two. You know what they say- if one is good, two is better. At least this wasn't a case of- "take two, they're small". Being vertically challenged myself, the "small" jokes just aren't going to be as forthcoming from me.
However, on a more serious note- as trainers we very often come across young people who let it be known that their express ambition in life is to be a (gasp!) horse trainer. Of course, also being the good little horse trainers that we are, we are concerned for these kids, and try to let them know that this is no life for them. Go be doctors, lawyers and such. Go forth and...prosper. We try to explain that if they are hell-bent on a career path that includes a 50/50 chance at starvation, at least pick one that isn't so hard on the body. You could, for example, always be a starving artist. At least insurance isn't so hard to come by then. (I suggest that as an example, since that was the career path my family begged me to take)
I think these girls may be differant however. They've already got a lot of what it takes to make it in this world, and they don't even know it yet. Sure, there are a lot of unique problems to be faced as a prospective trainer, just starting out- and more so as a "rookie" female in this field. The hardest part to make kids that want to be horse trainers understand is that training horses isn't a horse job. It's a people job. It's every bit as much a people job as being a social worker. You have customers. You have to understand your customers and deal with them fairly and always in an ethical manner. The golden rule doesn't get any more golden then when dealing with customers.
That is where I think the strength in these two girls lies.
From every person you come in contact with, you will learn something if you open your eyes to it. You may not always learn what you should do. You may learn nothing more than what not to do. Both of these girls have seen the all three sides of being "Joe Customer"- the good, the bad and the ugly. They've felt the highs. They've drank the heady brew of success, and sipped from the well of comraderie. They know how good it feels to feel wanted and accepted- to be part of something larger than themselves. They also know what it is to be shunted aside when your horse isn't good enough anymore, or you're not going to enough shows, or you just plain don't have a horse. They've been judged by the depth of their checkbooks and been found wanting. They know how it feels to have thier personal value be calculated with dollar signs.
They've walked a hundred miles in the shoes thier future customers will wear. They've "been there and done that". This will give them an extra bit of insight and empathy that perhaps their peers won't have.
So long as these girls never forget, I think they'll do just fine.

(Sort of) Extreme Makeover: Barn Edition

2007-12-09T18:44:00.000-05:00

You may have guessed, (or even have heard) that we're remodeling the barn. For those familiar with our place- it would be the dirt-floor barn. I like the "coffee-side" just the way it is, thank you very much. (Besides, as command central, what the hell would I do w/o that area.. or, more importantly, where on earth would I put all the stuff in there while I was remodeling???)

Anyhoooo. This was supposed to be just a simple matter of new stall fronts and dividing walls. Note the italics in the previous sentence. And did I say "simple"?? What WAS I thinking?? That's the question, actually. What the hell was I thinking?

So.. we decided that this was going to be a quick project for after the World Show and before all the new training horses came in. Right. (For those of you who've had to be pushed back.. thank you so much for your understanding) We'd shift some horses around and do the three stalls on the one side. Demo started. Demo abruptly stopped. The front walls were off and the dividing walls were set to come down, as well as the 4 x 4 posts. However, when the first dividing wall that was between the stalls came down, part of the ceiling tried to come with it. Turns out that they set the ceiling right on top of the walls. (Which in turn explains why it over-laps the bolts that hold the hangers for the tracks) And the top board to the walls weren't set with joist hangers.. they just sorta were there. Same thing with the 4 x 4s. They weren't exactly load bearing- (Thank heavens really.. since the bottoms were all rotten and sorta floated there above the ground) - save for the fact that the headers that the tracks were on tied in to them, and the ceiling sat on all of it.

A lot of bracing and lifting and prying later, we got most of the guts of the barn back to level and close to square. I was really afraid that since it was unlikely the barn was actually ever either of those to begin with, it was really going to screw us up. Thank heavens we had enough lee-way that the only problem is that if you really look at the middle stall, it's not a square, but a trapazoid, and the end stall is more of a rhombus. My horses will all be excellent at geometry. If only I can teach their riders the circle shape...

Stall fronts are up; tracks and doors are done; we're getting wood to finish the last dividing wall, and we've opted to let the last two stalls go until spring. After all, this simple little project has already gone a full week over it's time allowed. (And the original plan called for doing the other two stalls!) We've parked the trailer where we're storing the new stall fronts. Most of the tools are put away.........

And that brings me to the introduction of yet another one of our, oh, so lovely, children- Heavy On Charm. "Heavy" doesn't quite cover it. She is our resident broodmare, and prima diva. She is semi-retired from the show ring after earning an ApHC Champion Award, a couple of World Show top fives, and a National Hight Point top ten. She considers herself royalty and demands that sort of treatment, on her terms. Apparently, upon realizing that her stall was not to be remodeled immediately, she took it upon herself to do her own remodeling. I will have pictures posted soon.. (as soon as I figure out how to get them off the phone..) until then, you'll have to survive with a verbal account.

The square footage of the stall was dramatically increased when Charm moved the ENTIRE stall front about 2 additional feet into the aisleway. To accomplish this, two large beams had to move too. Yep- she snapped them both. One she actually broke in two places- once at the base, and once up by the ceiling. Since her neighbor, Ace, would not co-operate in this expansion of their territories, the front boards that attach Charm's stall to his, all pulled free of their nails. The door (the sliding type) was, of course, pinned in it's location by the track at the top. The bottom however, took the outward plunge, resulting in extreme fractures above the level of the handle.

Now, I've had horses try to dig themselves an escape tunnel, or recontour their walls beaver-style, or create a door between themselves and a neighbor by removing a board or two, and I've even had one chew themselves a window, but I've never had one get quite so extensive with their remodeling efforts. She managed this without leaving so much as a nick, scratch, or cut on herself.

Move over DIY hosts! "Charmie" can move small buildings with a single shove and never even get a hair out of place.

Oh- and yes we are now going ahead and doing those last two stalls.

Tis The Season

2007-12-06T23:00:00.000-05:00

I SOOOO want to do this sometime.

Might as well have some sort of fun with this white stuff.

Get A Life

2007-12-04T22:13:00.000-05:00

I just recieved via a friend a blog/newsletter/post thingie entitled "Ruminations" by some guy who is not to be confused with the ultimate fighter by the same name. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was a compilation of witty observations on a variety of high-tech subjects. I sensed a serious recurrent theme, however.
Unfortunately, despite my enjoyment, it made me just a titch depressed.
It hammered home the fact that I just do not get out enough. This time of year sucks. Snow keeps you pretty well barn bound. Nearly no shows- my social calendar has suddenly dissolved to nil. My current observations on the status of the world is now limited to the amount of snow that has fallen, the properties of said snow, exactly which methods should be employed to move the snow, the physics of flying frozen horse manure, et. al. You get it.
I need to expand my horizons.

I understand that in the Eskimo language there are 29 words for snow..................

What's Really Important

2007-11-29T18:43:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it takes a tremendous tragedy to make us wake up and re-evaluate our priorities. After hearing of the devestation of Burgandy Hill Farm I walked into the barn and hugged each and every horse. Each of those animals in that barn are as precious to me as my own children would be. I could not begin to fathom the heartache that is just beginning for Michelle, her mother, and everyone else at that barn.

It served as a reminder to me that every day is precious. Each day in the barn, no matter how trying, is a good day. It can be so swiftly lost.

It reminded me that the petty gossip and sniping of detractors is just that- petty. It holds no bearing on how I do things. It should never interfere with my ablility to cherish each moment with my animals. The smell of leather and sweat and hay; the feel of a mane in my fingers; the look in each horse's eye- that is important. What people say is not.

Borrowing Trouble

2007-11-21T20:18:00.001-05:00

Did your mother ever tell you not to go borrowing trouble? In other words, don't go looking for trouble, 'cause you're going to end up with some anyway, and by looking for it, you're liable to end up with worse.

This is how I feel with Timmie sometimes. Twice now we've taken him off to the vets, because he wasn't quite right. Twice now we've come home with the dire-est of diagnoses. Twice it's turned out to be something minor, but something, none the less. (Actually, this last time, was supposed to be just a routine hock x-ray since that is about the ONLY joint he hasn't had radiated.)
So he's currently laid up with an abscess. It was a stonebruise last time. He's a pretty serious Diva. To a degree, I'm glad it actually abscessed, drained, and now we can dry it up and move on with life.

You might notice that Timmie gets "more than his fair share" of press-time in this blog. Perhaps you're right. Still.. he's a continual source of amusement, entertainment, and anxiety for everyone in the barn. Look at this face! (I'm talking about Timmie's) Doesn't that say it all?

Oh... and I'll just throw Timmie and Julie both under the bus here since the opportunity has arisen. (Love ya! Really I do!) We were all in awe that Julie decided to shoot this picture this way. None of us have been able to decide- brave or stupid? Or some combination of both? Bareback w/ just a halter, and not even holding the lead... I KNOW Timmie, and I also KNOW that even though he was surrounded, if he'd decided to leave none of us would have been able to stop him. (It's not uncommon for him to decide to leave when I'm cleaning his stall. I will be hanging off the back of his blanket, but still he off and leaves- and I'm dragging in his wake like a really bad immitation of water-skiing.)

The other thing: That is NOT Timmie's forelock. We made him a forelock extension for these photos. That is actually tail hair from a horse that desperately needed their tail trimmed. This was necessary because at the last show Timmie decided that the short, fuzzy look was way more in than the long, sleek one was. So.. he rubbed off his entire forelock braid. All of it. We managed to preserve the braid. When we found it, it was hanging by about 6 hairs. He still needed to show that day- so some very strong adhesive/hairspray, and he made it through. Still, it did not survive having the yarn removed. Alas.. even with about 6 long hairs to work with and a whole bunch of short fuzzy ones, we did a pretty damn good job there, if I do say so myself.

Timmie Gets a Friend

2007-11-20T22:18:00.000-05:00

Yep, that's going to be the title of the next book.

No, this friend is not the one the book is about.

I'm going to introduce you to Timmie's one true friend. His partner in high crime and misdemeanors. His cohort- his protege'- his, what the hell was I thinking giving him a youngster corrupt this way??
This is Lex. Alias: Going Bayou Boldly. Currently wanted for questioning in a public nudity case.

You may have guessed that Lex is our current class clown. Terribly bright, not overly coordinated (yet!), and a fountain of harmless, amusing, mischief. At least, when he's with Timmie he's a fountain of mischief. How harmless it is, depends on your perspective. I'm sure his mother doesn't find it all that harmless. After all he did (w/ help no doubt) de-stuff his nearly new turn-out rug. It appeared to have snowed in big fluffy clumps all over his paddock. Of course, when questioned, both boys simply gazed at me with their cherubic "Who? Me?" expressions. Lex is simply a master at this. Sugar cubes would not melt in his mouth.
Not only is he a master at seeming innocence, he's one of the sweetest, best natured horses there is. Or, should I say he was. Or more aptly, is most of the time. It appears he's not yet ready to share his mother in any capacity, and especially not with some mare. It matters to him not at all that the mare came before him. Fortunatly, he's also very forgiving. A little time and a few peppermints, and it's "What mare? Did you see a mare? I didn't see a mare."
That's Lex.
He also happens to be extremely talented. Sweet, talented, and big, brown, innocent (falsely?) eyes.... Alicia is one lucky girl. Now, if we could just get Lex to stop trying to kiss Kenn............

Zoom Zoom Zoom

2007-11-13T19:52:00.000-05:00

Okay. We've gone and done it. Bit the bullet.

We've bought a truck.

Sure it's a used truck, but it was a decent deal. It's pretty much all I've wanted in a hauling vehicle, except that it's automatic, and that's something I can live with. It's a King Ranch F-350 with every option. Heck, it's even got a moon-roof. How lucky can a girl get?

I think you'll agree it's time. This year the saga of my father's truck continued at the World Show. I suppose it's just that truck's way of telling us it does not want to go to Texas, no f***in' way! To bring those who do not know up to date- 3 years ago, the day after we arrived in Fort Worth (AFTER *I* drove in Dallas morning rush-hour traffic, w/ the fully loaded horse trailer, thru extensive construction) we pulled into Ol' South (the local 24-hr. pancake joint) and as we backed into the parking spot, the tie-rods fell off. Nice huh? So, the next year, shortly after arriving the starter crapped the bed, and left me stranded at the hotel. Thankfully this truck is standard. Drag it across the parking lot a short ways.. and wam, bam, thank you ma'am.. enough said. 1 Point for standard transmissions! $610 later and new starter later, we thought that was behind us. We thought wrong.
This year, yet again, the starter went. Exactly one year and a week from when it was replaced last. The warranty expired- you guessed it!- on the one year anniversary. So.. if it had had the grace to puke out on us at the BEGINNING of the show, we'd have been A-OKAY. But, no.. that's not the way the cookie crumbles. Regardless, I'm sure you're saying, that it's more than time for me to get my own truck. Technically I agree. There is one problem with that, however.

Turns out, I'm a huge commitment-phobe. Who'da guessed? I've had more than one anxiety attack about incurring this amount of debt. So what, you ask? As I've had pointed out to me, buying a vehicle isn't exactly a "till death do you part", sort of proposition.
That's what you think.
I, however, do have a track record of keeping my vehicles far longer than I've ever kept any man around.
This sure is one sexy truck, though. Maybe I'll survive.

The Horse Show Challenged...

2007-10-16T19:14:00.000-05:00

There was just an article in some magazine... Horse Illustrated, I believe it was. This article posed the very important question- "Are You Horse Show Challenged?". It's all about doing as that old saying says- "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade."

I think that's rather passe', don't you? I'm a firm believer that if life hands you lemons, you can do any number of things. 1) You can make the aforementioned lemonade, 2) You can make a really ugly face, Or 3) You can get yourself a shaker of salt, a bottle of Jose', and kick back and enjoy the rest of the day- 'cause, Hey!, plans change, sometimes you lose, and there's always another horse show.

When things go wrong, (as they often do in the horse world), how you handle the situation- That is, how you conduct yourself, and what you manage to take away from it in a constructive fashion not only defines you, but makes you grow as a competitor.

For example, your Baby Green horse decides to be a little "flamboyant" during it's changes. So.. you didn't place. However, if you accentuate the positive instead, you realize that your "greenie" met all it's fences bravely and quietly. That gives you something to build upon, instead of being haunted by faulty changes. By not dwelling on the negative, it's a virtual guarantee that the next time, you'll have an even better performance. The other option- allowing yourself to focus on the negative only sticks you firmly in a rut.

Some of our more challenging moments that filter through to the surface of my mind are:
In a Western pleasure class, the 3YO filly that Kenn was riding literally got "T-Boned" and knocked into the wall of the arena and down on her knees. (C'mon people, this is WESTERN PLEASURE, not BUMPER CARS!) Fortunately, she picked herself right back up and loped off like a pro.

In a Sr Western Pleasure class (have you noticed a trend? maybe we should give up the pleasure thing.. I think the gods are trying to tell us something) A black cat came streaking out of the stands, and down the stairway. At the bottom it apparently suffered a critical brake malfunction, and crashed headlong into the arena wall, at the exact same spot our mare was jogging past. I'm not sure which was more startling- watching the cat attempt a suicidal kamikaze mission, or having a black cat nearly cross your path.

Bad things happen to good people. It's a fact of life. Grab that bottle of Cuervo. No matter how hard you work- dot all your "i"s and cross all your "t"s, sometimes lady luck rears her head and instead of giving you a kiss, she strikes you like a viper. So instead of worrying about flushed entry fees, reach out with both hands and grab ahold of some fun. That doesn't have to come in a bottle, (fun is what and where you make it) but depending on how bad your luck is running, it sure can help sometimes. This horse show stuff cost way too much not to be having fun.

Uh-0

2007-10-12T19:29:00.000-05:00

I have an eye exam coming up tomorrow. It had occurred to me that it's been quite awhile since I'd had one, and lately I've been coming up with headaches when I try to read. I find myself dragging the laptop closer.. Well, you get the picture. Perhaps it's time.

Whilst lamenting this fact to the barn owner, Glenn, this morning, Glenn's son asked the innocent question, "You had a birthday recently didn't you?"

Bite me.

"No really, didn't you?"

So what? I recently celebrated the big 3-0. By my reckoning, that's just another birthday, sandwiched between 29 and 31.

"Welcome to "30-hood" sweetheart".

Bite me.

Under this theory, one would then assume that some sort of 'bio-switch' flips off in your body upon your 30th birthday and all body systems then go from "green" to "red" and your life goes to hell in a hand-basket. At this rate, if you subscribe to this theory, it's a hand-basket on roller skates, even.

It's all just stereotyping. I mean- you hit the big 4-0, and you better duck, 'cause there's a mid-life crisis bearing down on you in short order. The big 5-0 hits like a load of bricks and you'd best throw out a line, cause you're in a runaway truck, heading downhill with no brakes. 6-0 sneaks up on you and you're hustling to get all the "fun" stuff done in your retirement, only to find that you've got no more time, or energy, or funds, than you did earlier in life. 7-0 smacks you in the back of the head, and you spend the next decade looking over your shoulder. 8-0 comes and you start counting days, hours, or minutes.

So if those are all such big life markers, why isn't it the big 2-0 when you hit twenty? No longer able to affix the suffix "-teen" to your age, you're no longer a "teenager" but, hey, neither can you legally drink. Welcome to limbo-land.

I do not believe that reaching the big 3-0 milepost is where you first sight the beginning of the end. I don't feel old. "Old" is all in your head. Hell- some evenings I feel 22 again; most mornings I feel 72. (That always follows, in that order, if I try to behave like I'm 22 again) Age, and the expectations of what should come with that age, are all a state of mind. My body isn't falling apart because I turned thirty. It's falling apart because I abuse the hell out of it. Instead of being depressed at reaching 30, I was more of the "now what?", camp. I'd never envisioned life past this point. I suppose I ought to start thinking about the future now though. After all, I've got a mid-life crisis I need to plan for.

The G-Spot

2007-09-28T20:51:00.000-05:00

Time to introduce you to yet another of the "kids". For those of you with less than perfectly innocent minds- her actual name is "Georgia".. or "G". Registered name, "Accomplishment".. and well....... one thing sort of led to another- and if you find it.. well, that's an accomplishment of a sort now isn't it?

So. Anyway. "Georgia" is a 3YO filly, by Achieva and out a mare named Wana Sue. Yes, that makes her Timmie's half sister. And, yes, they have a lot in common. She is actually much .. well, if NOT smarter, at least she has a sense of self preservation. Still, she's the blondest grey horse I know. That said, I don't mind much. I know, at least, that I can have a bad day and STILL out-think her. She is also the absolute sweetest, quietest, nicest mare I've ever been around- even when she's in heat. Which, of course, puts her one up on most females of any species.

"Georgia" showed for the first time at the NYS Fair, where she did one class- but mostly went to be a tourist. Much like her older brother she was fascinated with much of what goes on with that show- the parades, fireworks, the other breeds of horses- the two of them are like taking twin grey children to the carnival. From there she then went to her first "serious" horse show- the ESQHA Fall Show in Syracuse, NY. Her owner, Jackie Allen, of Central Square, NY showed her for the first time in Nov. Amateur HUS. They were called back second in their cut for the finals. In the finals a blown lead dropped them out of top placings down to 8th. Still for a green 3YO and an owner who is only making their first foray into the HUS world- that's still pretty darn good. There were over 20 in the class. As you can see the pictures are gorgeous. She also does showmanship too- like a machine.

When this filly is on her game, riding her makes you feel like you're on top of the world. Shh... don't tell anyone, but it's almost better than sex. And you wondered where she got her name....

You Can't Fix Stupid

2007-09-17T21:23:00.000-05:00

According to Alicia, one of her husband's favorite sayings is, "You can't fix stupid". Can you be any more succinct than that?

I consider myself to be of average intelligence, but often enough I come across someone that leaves me thinking about making an application for MENSA. The other truism, is that the more sub-standard IQ one has, the more their mouth runs. They say that the mouth opens and the brain closes- how true. You can not help but feel pity for such people. Can they not know how stupid they are? Or do they know, deep-down?

I have in mind, specifically for this, someone whom I was unable to respect much even as a young girl. I, of course, had the traditional respect one holds for someone older than oneself, and for those in positions of authority. Still, now that I'm older (and hopefully wiser.. wait.. I knew it ALL at 14 didn't I??) I now hold this person at roughly the same level of respect that I hold pond scum. Sure, they have their virtues- but so does pond scum.

This person has been trying valiantly (in rather brazen, but underhanded ways) to undermine my credibility; bad-mouth me, my program, and my horses (*THAT* part pisses me off... say what you want about me, but do NOT talk about my children) and make life difficult for my customers.

Have you done anything about it, you ask? Not yet. I admit, the temptation to confront this person has been strong at times, but I plainly refuse to get in a battle of wits with someone who is so clearly unarmed.

You see- the thing with blitherin' idiots is that they will, eventually, trip over their own tongues. (Or for a more satisfying visual- give them rope and eventually they hang themselves with it) They really don't need help in looking stupid. They do just fine on their own.

Timmie Gets A Monkey.. or.. Sometimes You Get More Than You Pay For

2007-09-14T22:43:00.000-05:00

It's time, I feel, to introduce you to the entire cast of characters that comprise our endlessly entertaining environs. For your sake this will be done one at a time.

Here we have Achieve N Dreams, a 2002 gelding, by Achieva and out of Reserve Youth World Champion mare Elegance And Roses. Aboard is his owner/operator, Julia Blunt, and on the ground (but by no means in a safer position) is me- appearing as myself.

When Julia called us to look at a horse she was trying out- we told her; "Sure, as soon as we get a free minute. Next day or so." She said, "Um.. could you make that tonight? He's lame."

Uh-Oh.

Our initial reaction? Oh dear, what are getting yourself into now? For further background information, Julia had literally just foaled her third kid, and was now (with 3 college educations looming far in the background) was looking at potentially buying a lame horse. I believe her words to me when she started horse shopping were something like this- "I just want something to have fun on, do Open shows, and maybe the occasional Quarter Horse show." Remember those words, they take on new meaning later.

So we went to look at the poor lame boy, and lame didn't quite cover it. He wasn't exactly three-legged, head-bobbing lame. He couldn't be. He really only had one good leg to stand on. So, our verdict went something like this- Lame on 3 legs. Probably shoeing related. Shoes are way too small. Angles are horrifying. He's barely tall enough. (a bare 16H) and he needs groceries- LOTS of groceries. Still, there was something that said, if bought right, this could be a hell of a prospect. Now- if you were a mother of 3 (the youngest being newborn) and you've never won the lottery- what would you do? Run the other way just as fast as you could of course. Who on earth buys a lame horse?????? Considering her budget, and the fact I'm pretty sure she fell head over heels immediately, I'm not sure Julie ever really had a choice. It was, at the time, the best she could afford- being 2 steps removed from dog food instead of merely one.

Having the resources to rehabilitate Timmie that Julie lacked, I would not allow my best friend to embark upon a gamble like this without giving her all and any support that I could. Over the course of a couple of months we got the big boy (oh yeah... he grew when he got fed... and he grew.. and he grew...) sound enough and strong enough to ride. Those first rides were a lot of entertainment. Turns out he knew a thing or two, but definitely not three. He was pretty green. And he had his quirks. (Still does, and if I were to list them for you I would fill up all my designated space) One minute he was a blithering idiot- bucking, leaping, twisting. The next, he was stuck in park. Good luck getting him to move- and then it was with a "ho-hum.. guess I can plod around" attitude.

As Timmie developed into a horse, he developed a striking personality... or should I say biting... or more aptly... pinching. He's famous for sneaking in a pinch. Favored targets are breasts (he's got an unerring sense for nipples- male or female) or that sensitive area of the tricep. I swear, he does this just to make people squeal, flail, and jump up and down. In his mother I think he found the perfect squeaky toy. He never, ever, misses an opportunity to drag, pinch, squish, or stomp her. All in the most loving of ways, of course. In spite of the torture he puts her through for his own entertainment, he takes good care of her (as you would a loveable, entertaining pet.. such as a monkey or a 'Tickle Me Elmo'). This is best exemplified in his very first trail ride.

It was hotter than blazes, and the barn had no power. This was due to a semi ripping down the power lines when it pulled into the business next door. So.. for entertainment, and to see when we might get power back, Julie and I decided to ride down and ask the crew working, how much longer it was going to be. Timmie tromped past the trucks, the cones, the lights, past the cherry picker.. you name it- and never batted an ear. On the return trip to the barn he still plodded on steadily until Julie, who was not yet used to split reins, dropped them. He stepped on the end of his rein and stopped. This allowed Julie to hang virtually upside down out of the saddle to retrieve the wayward reins. Not bad for a horse that'd only been riding less than a month and was outdoors, unfenced-in, for the first time. On another trail ride he was a bit more... um.. lively. He tried (and failed) to walk through trees. One can only assume that he was operating on the premise that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Following that logic then- regardless of how the trail curves- it is quicker and easier to go straight. No matter how boldly he marched however, the trees failed to yield way. No amount of persuasion from his rider could dissuade him from this course. Julie returned to the farm with most of the forest in her hair, shirt, and even underwear.

This was Timmie at the beginning. After 60 days of riding he went to his first horse show and won the Jr. HUS, the Nov. Am HUS and the Amateur HUS. He continues to be a professional in the show pen, but is too much of a diva to attend Open shows. In the Timmie Saga, however, that is a story for another time.

The ME factor

2007-09-02T21:50:00.000-05:00

As a horse trainer you have some customers that seem hell bent on driving you insane. On the other hand, bless the lord, you try to balance them with the customers that are the bright shining lights of your day. For those you would walk through burning lava, turn yourself into a pretzel.. whatever it takes- for they are the fresh air that keeps you from turning into a raving lunatic. The rest of your customers tend to fall in into various places in between, and mostly all even fluctuate to and fro.

The hardest thing to deal with, when you're fried from the road, trying to get everything primed for the big fall shows, you're running on nothing more than caffeine, a few hours of semi-shut-eye and a whole lot of Advil, is what we'll term the "ME" factor.

The people with the "Me, Me's" are everywhere. You've probably met more than one. They don't want to hear about your horse, or anyone elses. They want to talk only about theirs. They don't want to know what they can do for you, but what you can do for them. You can never spend enough time with THIER horse. (What? You mean you have others????) Because of the fact that in their world, only they, their goals, and their horse exist, you must certainly have time to do more for them. Why should they take the time out of their busy vacation/ social life/ free time to attempt to do for themselves when it's much simpler to ask someone else to do for them? Oh, I know you're REEEEAAAALLLLYYY busy, but could you........?

The reasons why they can't do it themselves vary, of course. They're going to the movies, have a hot date, washing their hair, or they haven't even tried, and truthfully don't feel like it. They feel somehow entitled to more than their fair share. And that's the moral of the story: Share.
You know something- when you do, you really do get more.

Walk a Mile in my Horseshoes

2007-09-01T21:26:00.000-05:00

I had a Stepometer once. You know- those nifty gadgets McDonalds gave out when they went on a health kick. You got them with your salad. Better than a side of croutons.

I wore mine out in the first day.

According to the number of steps I take in one day (and only about half of those registered) I should be an ultra-fit, super lean, heath machine. Don't laugh. Of course, those in the know are aware that I do my very best to counteract my active lifestyle. The old Russian proverb goes something like this; "You don't drink, you don't smoke, you only die healthy". Alas, I digress.

I love my job. Do not get me wrong. However, 12-14 hour days, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, for year after year, do take their toll. (Do not forget I wore out a stepometer in ONE day) In this line of work, there really isn't such a thing as a day off- least of all when you really truely care about your horses, and pride yourself on your hands-on approach to ALL aspects of care for the horses entrusted to you.

Now I do not envy the non-horse people. I do however find it hard to relate to them sometimes. Especially when they start to make demands of my time. The 9 to 5er's find it hard to understand why I can't just go out. Why I can't just change my schedule on a whim. I work for myself right? Sort of. My schedule's flexibility is set around the progress my various horses are making toward the goals I've laid out for them. Each horse has a differant program, and progresses at a differant pace, toward differant goals. Generally, these are long term goals, but still set within an indentifiable time limit. Each day is precious and important. To get them all where I want to get them, when I want to get them there, and do it so that they're both healthy and happy- I have to work my A$$ off day in and day out. The few hours I have to myself everyday are SACRED to me. In order for ME to be healthy and happy I need to rest too. .....(I'm hitting an age where bionic body parts are looking attractive)...

I want to know why I need to be the one working everyday for 12+ hours, but I can't be too busy to go out and be social, when the ones with weekends, holidays, and paid vacations can't come see me, because they say I'm too busy....?

Karma.. it's a funny little thing

2007-08-31T23:49:00.000-05:00

Just lately I think I should believe in Karma.

Someone local threatened to break my fingers, and in general made life very very uncomfortable for a whole lot of people around here.. and their horse died. Seems severe I know, but hey.. I don't run things. Wish I did.

Alicia got stitches at the State Fair. Sliced her knuckle wide open. She'd spent part of the earlier portion of the day saying how it was such bad form to be carted off to the infirmary. Everyone laughed at you if you got carted off to the infirmary. She got carted off. Least she got to go sitting up and not strapped down.

I argued vehemently with Kenn about the location of the potted plants in our stall display. I liked the way they were.. he thought the one might be in danger. I disagreed. What danger could come to a prickly cactusy palm type plant? Of course- my favorite horse picked it up and thoroughly de-potted it. Damn. I wanted to save that plant too.

So now some people are saying very bad, slanderous things.. I kinda think it's funny, but at the same time I'm waiting to see exactly how Karma comes up and kicks their ass..

In the meantime I'm being vewy vewy careful.

The smell of DMSO in the morning..

2007-08-31T23:30:00.000-05:00

I have never really researched how much of the human memory bank is referenced based upon olfactory stimulation... but it never ceases to amaze me what the random smell will dredge out of the webby bottom of my mind.

Take for example, DMSO. That horribly putrid smell puts me immediately in mind of Morrisville. That is NOT to say that the direct connections that my subconcious makes are in any way as negative as the scent itself. On the contrary. Strangely enough, after less than 6 degrees of seperation, my memories flow from the stench of DMSO to bubble bath in the world's best garden tub/ jacuzzi. Don't ask- it's one of those insane leaps the human mind is prone to making.

Another example- pine. Certain sawdust, pine-sol, those cheesey little pine tree air-fresheners- all of the above remind intimately of horse shows, even though we no longer use pine shavings ourselves.

Lately has been the best. The bite of fall is in the air (and it's only the first of September.. dear, GOD!) and the barn has that richer aroma from being closed overnight. It's as though the hay is more pungent, the sawdust more aromatic, and of course the horse shit.. well... you get the picture I'm sure. This morning, getting a nostril full of this veritable bouquet of scents, I was sent into a blind panic. WORLD SHOWS! (Again, do NOT ask, I do not KNOW why my mind works thusly) While we know WHO is going, not a one is yet in training, I do not know if they are under lights (as they should be), I haven't even seen some of them in over a month.. and we have (gasp!) less than 60 days.

This is no differant from any other year. But there you have it- the control that the nose has over the mind..

Triangulating a Championship

2007-02-08T18:07:00.000-05:00

To make a Champion,- and we're talking specifically about the World Champion level, although it applies to all levels- takes a nothing less than a trio of special people. (and this is regardless of WHO the trainer is.. consider the trainer as the "manager" or "captain" of this ship. If there are holes in the ship, it doesn't matter how damn good the captain is, it's going to sink!)

First it takes the right owner. It takes that special owner that is willing to do what it takes to make that horse the best that horse can be. In other words they have to be willing to send it down the road to shows, (and sometimes not send it) get it the training it needs, and one that is savvy enough to shop for the best people they can find to fill the next two postions, AND THEN, when they've found their experts, be willing to listen to them.

Next it takes the right veterinarian. Without that right one to keep at fine tuned athlete in peak condition, you might as well forget the voyage before you even start. It is a differant veterinarian that keeps the show horse tickin' over properly, than the one that visit's ol' Thunder in your neighbor's pasture once or twice a year.

And third, is the right farrier. Remember the old saying "no hoof, no horse". Competitively speaking, your farrier can make or break you. They've got to know their job inside and out. They have to know what it is your horse does, and make sure they can perform to the utmost of their abilities. It's not an easy job keeping a campaigning horse sound. They must also know the horse they are working on inside and out. They have to take a personal interest.

All three of them have to be able to set a program, follow a program, and remain flexible enough to abandon that program if it isn't working.

So many people buy that future "world beater" and can't figure out why they can't make that dream a reality. Or they buy that World Champion that some other "trio" has already made, take it home, and suddenly, their great horse isn't doing so great anymore. Immediately they blame the former trainer- "It was beaten to do what it did." or "It was drugged". Never could they consider that something in the dynamic of their own "triangle" has does not work for that horse.

On Hunters and Barrel Horses

2007-02-05T15:33:00.000-05:00

It never ceases to amaze me how much bias exists in the horse industry. Breed-bias. Gender-bias. Event-bias. Sure everyone has their favorites, but is that any reason to be derogatory?

Growing up riding AQHA hunters, the prevailing attitude was that the very worst thing you could do on horseback was run barrels. That was lower than low. Scum of the earth type thing. It was the dwelling place of the equine illiterate, who didn't know any better, and the horses, well... you felt sorry for them, crazy, ugly animals that they were. Of course we wondered why hunter riders had a reputation for snobishness..... hmm..

That couldn't have been more silly. First of all- take your pedigrees for your top hunter horses (both fences and HUS) and compare them to the pedigrees of the top barrel horses. See any similarities? (for easy research use this site: www.allbreedpedigree.com )

The primary differances are height and temperment. Those are uncontrolable variables anytime you breed a mare to a stallion. You might cross two horses with speed indexes over 100, and end up with something that would only run if you shoved a jet engine up it's butt.

Kenn and I are always fighting over horses. Why? Because we both look for the same thing in a horse. I see something that would make a great hunter, he sees something that would excell as a barrel horse. We both want flat, long-strided, efficient movers. Good hocks, nice sloping shoulders.. the list goes on.

So why the attitudes? NO IDEA. Even the training and riding aren't much differant. Barrel horses have to know all the same things a fence horse or undersaddle horse does. The main differance is the speed at which they perform.

Blood, Sweat, and Tears

2006-12-16T18:35:00.000-05:00

99% of the time it is RIDER error.

It amazes me to no end to just how FEW riders have ever even heard that old axiom, much less how few subscribe to it.

A horse is not a machine. Not exactly anyway. You can't just put your quarter in, and get the ride you're looking for out of it. If that's what you want, maybe you should stick to Wal-Mart lobbies and leave the barn alone. However, sometimes, when a horse is broke, AND they have the right sort of temperment, then they can seem to be "push-button". You give the right cue, and they seem to just "do it", seemingly on their own. Not all horses have that sort of mentality to be that way though. Regardless, any horse, no matter how broke, is no better than their rider. In that way they are like calculators, or simple computer programs- if the operator puts "garbage in" they get "garbage out".

Riding is a continual learning process. Not only should you be learning something from your horse about feel and timing every time you ride, your horse is also learning from you every single time you handle it. Now, whether what your horse learns is good, bad, or indifferant, is entirely up to you. No matter whom is giving the instructions from the ground, it is the rider that is having a direct dialog with that horse every moment of the ride.

It is simply unfair to the horse, and/or the trainer to blame either one when the rider does not get the results he/she desires. True, 1% of the time, it is the horse, but think about all the hours in the saddle and all the possible mistakes- Just how much does 1% really add up to? So instead of playing the blame game, it would be much more constructive to take a deep breathe and analyze your riding. Are you being clear and concise in your requests? Do you let your horse know when he's done right- or are you a nagger? Is what you're asking for within your horses realm of understanding? Consider the level of training that your horse is at. Are you setting your horse up for success, or are you expecting him to shoulder the burden of the performance? Remember, riding is a 50/50 partnership.

From a trainer's standpoint, there is nothing worse than pouring time, effort, blood, sweat, and tears into a horse, and then have the owner blame the horse (or the trainer), when the owner can not get the horse to perform, and refuses to even consider it may be Rider error. Contrary to popular belief, trainers DO want to see the owner succeed with the horse if at all possible. (Caveat: some few horses just will never be suitable for more than the most advanced rider.) The problem is that, although we can give you all the tools to succeed, we can't ride for you. When you step up onto that saddle, it's really out of our hands.

So the next time you are frustrated with your horse's performance, before you play the blame game, ask yourself the above questions.

Boring Update.

2006-11-13T20:42:00.000-05:00

Just a quick update- We're through the ApHC World Show, and onto the "boring" (and VERY cold) winter months. The Worlds went well with Skip'N garnering two top 10s again this year, although we actually went down in the placings in Sr. Hunter Hack. Hey, at least the ribbon wasn't YELLOW. It was a nice pretty pink, and while a very refreshing change, pink is now swiftly getting old. Linda was also 5th in Masters HUS, to go with the 5th in Master's Eq. from last year. I'm thinking that I'd like to try a nice royal blue on for size. In all defense it was an EXCELLENT hunter hack class. Not that there wasn't a horse without a flaw, but altogether they were all very, very minor ones. And I DID have a rub. Don't know if the judges heard it or not, but *I* know I had one, and I know that it was probably from overschooling one or two trips too many the night before. Lesson learned.

"Cruiser", the blonde bomber, was solid as always, getting a 7th and 8th in Jr. Barrels and Jr. Poles respectively. A very fine performance from him in a very new (to him) event.

So here we are, at home. World Show horses have gone. I'm painting the barn and Kenn is doing something to occupy his time. We're hoping not to see snow any time soon, and waiting on a fresh bunch of horses coming in within the next couple of days. Lots of youngsters to get broke out. So, while it may be cold, and we won't be seeing much of the road (thank goodness!), I don't think it's going to be too terribly boring around here.

I Wanna Be Rich

2006-05-12T21:13:00.000-05:00

I wanna be rich. Actually, I believe I would settle for just not poor. At the rate I'm going however, that just ain't gonna happen. Perhaps that is because 99.9% of the time I understand that there are otherways in which to be "rich". I also have come to understand that there are lots of things equivalent to, or surpassing, monetary reward. Helping a friend- that's one thing. Creation- that's another. Helping those less fortunate- that's always nice. Taking the cast-off, the downtrodden, the under-dog, and making them king- that's my personal favorite. Knowing you could be doing a little jig, sticking out your tongue, and chanting, "how do you like me now?"- that's priceless.

Still a Work In Progress

2006-05-11T22:28:00.000-05:00

BTW- Belle is coming along wonderfully. Still a little concerned that her own shadow might eat her, but she hasn't attempted to hike her skirt up and hitch a ride "piggy-back" in a while. Maybe she's discovered that her shadow only nibbles? Expect an update, with updated photos soon. At least I hope it'll be soon. Pictures are kinda on that "Things to do list". Have you ever noticed a certain special property that those lists possess? Each item you manage to scratch off spawns no less than two more? Almost like a computer virus.... hmmm.......

A Frivolous Waste of Oxygen

2006-05-11T22:06:00.000-05:00

Perhaps experience doesn't mean a darn thing. Perhaps, I have been, and always will be an iggner'nt blow hard. Ahhh... alright, maybe that was a bit harsh, but I swear!, if I have to bite my tongue from saying "I told you so", one more time, I might just bite it off! When we invest our time and energy in a horse, we do so completely. We learn all there is to know about what makes that horse tick, and what is going to make that horse perform at their very very best. We can tell you when, where, and how much your horse eats, drinks, sleeps, and goes to the bathroom. We can tell you if they snore. We can tell you what just about every muscle twitch your horse makes means. We can tell you what treats, and what bit they prefer- sweet iron, stainless, or copper? Latex wrapped or no? Correction, smooth, or something with bite? Butterscotch, licorice, or apple?

Now, it isn't our horse. So, if you don't want to follow our advice you don't have to. BUT, you just spent a lot of hard earned money on our training, which includes our advice. So, if you want to just waste that money.. well, it is your money. Just do us a favor (okay, especially, me, Dawn) and let us know ahead of time, so we don't go wasting precious oxygen. Our atmosphere is polluted enough. Or, better yet, you could just hand us a check and leave your horse at home- save us all a bunch of work.

And no, before anyone goes blasting us, or taking this right to heart- it was NOT directed at anyone in particular. Just being "peevish" again. It's no more than a very long standing pet peeve that has an aggravating ability to flare up. Sorta like hemorroids.

A Work in Progress

2006-05-10T21:56:00.000-05:00

I thought it might interest some to watch as one of our training horses progresses through our program. Some background: This is a 3YO Paint mare. She's in for a little more training. She'd been ridden, and even shown some in walk/trot. She's come off of board at farm north of us. You can see from the picture her condition. She's a bit underweight, and QUITE dirty- just generally poor looking. The first order of business is just to put weight on her, get her settled in, and clean enough to start working. After that, we'll run her through a quick refesher course- just to see what she knows and what she's forgotten. She's a little A D D, but a regular work program should help that. We shall see, and keep you posted.

1 Down, How many to go?

2006-04-18T22:34:00.000-05:00

Really, I meant to post about how the first show of the season went, but then I got reading Horse & Rider, and that got me up on my soapbox, and then, well.... you can read for yourself below.

The SBRAA Spring Show in Lexington, VA went well. It stormed almost everday, but we saw some sun everday too. (That is, if you went outside) I miss the green-ness (is that a word?) of that area already, but frankly, I can do without the red clay.

Skip'N did very well in Hunter In Hand, and Hunter Hack. 1st, 4th, and 1st, 1st, 2nd, 2nd, respectively. Linda was high point 35 and Over NP. She and Skip'N also really "cowboy'd up" for the trail class and put in their best performances to date. Cruiser, the handsome boy that he is, already is generating a fan club. (ooooohhh.... how CUTE!!) and is proving us right, pulling an 8th in Open Keyhole, his first time out.

Oscar was his usual, charming, steady self. (you would never guess how laid back he is if you watched him in the pasture- barrel horse in the making?) Schooled him bridleless even a little bit. His idea of that pen down there- "Whoa. That is a Looooooonnnngg way down to the other end. Better conserve my energy". He got some nice ribbons in the Trail, with 3 blues and a red.

Emmy was the mini miracle of the weekend. Talk about a quick study and a horse that really stepped up to the plate. Not only was her behavior impeccable (a miracle in and of itself) she performed at a level well above where her training time would dictate her to be. (making the qualifies and placing in Poles) Way to go Mary and Emmy!!

All in all, a good way to start the season. Now, to keep it on a roll.......

Peevish

2006-04-18T21:48:00.000-05:00

I have to laugh. Really, it's almost cosmic. That's cosmic, not comic, I promise, it wasn't a typo. I have a number of pet peeves, most of which I can't generally recall, but every so often one or two surface at a time, and set me to grinding my teeth in frustration. Around about then I get my monthly issue of Horse & Rider magazine.
Now mind you, I don't always read it. About half the time, I'm too busy with the bookwork end of the business, not to mention the physical work end, and then there's the regular, everybody has it,.. housework (ugh!). In those instances I let my other half read it (somehow he has more down time than I do. I can't figure) and bring any interesting articles to my attention. The other half of the time however, I do make the time to sit down and browse. Here's where the cosmic connection comes in- without fail (and I've been getting this magazine since my age was in the single digits) there is an article or a blurb regarding EXACTLY whatever issue has been plaguing me of late. It's almost eerie.
This month there was two sections that really got me. The first was by Editor-At-Large, Jenny Meyer, titled "Upping Those Odds". The gist was about doing everything in your power to ensure that your horse performs, and behaves, as well as possible every time you ride. If that includes a few minutes of longing, so be it. If there is one thing that I CAN NOT STAND, it is a rider that refuses to take the time to insure that their horse is physically and mentally ready to perform. Be this either because they are too lazy to longe, or too lazy to do their homework. Invariably, that sort always blames their horse. Usually, too, it's the ones with the greenest horses. These, by nature, require the greatest time commitment. They may take their horse to their first show (or any show) and then blame either horse or trainer, because the horse acts up. Everytime I hear the phrase, "Oh, he'll be fine", I nearly choke. My first response is usually- "Does this person have a death wish?" Maybe I'm over cautious- a couple of trips to the hospital has been known to do that to a person- usually they are right. Perhaps God takes care of those too stupid to take care of themselves?
The second article, and the one that makes me want to jump up and down and say, "SEE, SEE, I'm not an obsessive, overbearing, ogre!", is "To Your (Horse's) Health" by Bob Avila w/ Sue Copeland. One line in particular, stands out. "...My client will probably pay close to $2,000 for us to get the horse back to decent condition when it costs less that that to take good care of a horse for an entire year. Where's the sense in that?" (discussing a filly that came in in such poor condition as to be unrideable for the first few months)
Often times, Kenn and I recieve positive comments on how busy we are, or how the barn is always full and we have a waiting list. People are telling us how we're getting rave reviews. Recently I let a few people in on a little secret- Yes. We work hard. Yes. We're full and busier than heck. However, the majority of horses we get in are "problem horses"- "re-dos" as we call them. They're head flingers, run aways, buckers, rearers, the list goes on. 99.9% of the time we immediately start addressing health issues, things that are tantamount to neglect in my book, such as dental, chiropractic, lameness, poor or improper nutrition, etc... 99.9% of the time that and a little bit of riding, resolves the issues, and suddenly we're miracle workers. They've just paid me a couple months of training, and I worked magic, just by doing what they should have done in the first place, and could have done much cheaper. I personally think they're a little um... a few fries short as the saying goes, but then again, who am I to complain, since it's paying my bills. The truly aggravating part is knowing that you've poured time, and in some instances, blood, sweat and tears, into this animal to get it into top condition, and when they go home, it'll all go straight to rot, for want of a couple dollars, a little more attention to detail, or just a little more time & effort.

Testing...Testing...1,2,3...

2006-03-28T20:53:00.000-05:00

So, basically this is just a test blog, or somesuch thing...

Anyone tells me they want to be a trainer, and they're going to do it all themselves, "build it from the ground up"- I won't just recommend they have their head examined, I'll do it for them myself, with a hoof pick and a hammer. No worries- we can always put them back good as new with a little super glue and duct tape.